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I'm falling into it so fast, i don't know what to do

Posted , 5 users are following.

JaredC
JaredC

I've been suffering on and off depression, some times worst than most but usually there's a pattern where i rebuild all my relationships and then destroy them all.

I've started drinking quite heavily and i know it's not ideal for somebody who's 18 but it's the only thing that makes me feel good. Last night i got drunk and i started being a complete a double s to my bestfriend who has been nothing but nice to me during these times, infront of all his friends. He's angry and now doesn't want to speak to me and i feel horrible for doing what i did, because i knew it was wrong but i did it anyways, i just never took the chance to stop and think.

This morning my fathers car was in the driveway behind mine and i decided to move it so i could go out and clear my head. He came out and got extremely angry for me driving his car.. especially since the other day i got in a fight with him, where i called him a dead beat sperm donor.

I can already tell i'm going under and i do know ehat to do. I'm sitting right now at a fishing dock and thoughts of suicide are starting to come to me. I don't want to do this again

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • lynne82155
    lynne82155 JaredC

    Posted

    Hi Jared

    Depression turns us into monsters sometimes.

    Go and see your doctor about the depression and the drinking.

    Maybe some therapy.

    I am always looking over my shoulder when Im happy waiting for the next bad thing to happen but I am 50 years old you have your whole life ahead of you go and get the help you need and deserve.

    Stay Strongcool

  • katie.29.seeney
    katie.29.seeney JaredC

    Posted

    Hello Jared, 

    I am very sorry to hear that you feel you are going back into your depression. 

    I'm in a simular boat to you. In and out of depression. 

    Depression can compelty change the way you feel and can make you do unpredictable things. 

    Does your father know you are suffering from depression? Sometimes speaking to a family member or friend about your problems can really help. If your father knows what problems you are going through he can learn to deal with your episodes of anger or name calling for example. 

    I would suggest going to the doctors and make sure they put you into councelling. A lot of people arnt keen on going to a councellor their GP has arranged for you but when you get into that councelling they will probably be able to refer you to other councelling services, thats what happened with me. 

    I'm 19 so about the same age as you, and honestly this depression is like a virus nowadays. The best way you can kick out of it is to talk to people, and to think. Its okay to worry and have thoughts and to cry. I heard one of the biggest problems with depression is actually trying hard to get rid of the bad thoughts. My councellor told me that sometimes its best to just let yourself think about those thoughts for a set time in the day and then brush it off. 

    Sorry If i seem to be blabbering on but I just want to help and its my first day on this site. 

    I hope you feel better soon. 

    And remember your depression will not last forever and there is always someone who cares deaply for you. Maybe concentrate on caring for yourself for a while. 

    Kind Regards Katie

  • elizabeth2244
    elizabeth2244 JaredC

    Posted

    You need to get yourself help before you do something like suicide. Is life really that bad to where you want to hurt yourself. You are young you can turn yourself around 

    Pray to God go to therapy stop drinking 

    Think of what you got ahead of you. You are putting yourself down and this is when you need to get yourself help. 

    You can go to college you can make something of yourself but please do not think about ending your life just because of this down side right now 

    All you have to do is get some help there is help out there you do not need to be depressed think about good stuff think about God and pray to him 

    I know depression hurts but please do not end your life because of this 

    Right now its rough but all you need to do is ask for help 

    Elizabeth

  • Digsby
    Digsby JaredC

    Posted

    Hi Jared,

    I've so many regrets about my own self-destructive behaviour and the relationships that have suffered as a result. When I'm really depressed and feeling vulnerable, a breakdown in communication with a friend or a misunderstanding can send me into a suicidal spiral and it seems like the end of the world. These misunderstandings can almost always be fixed and it isn't a sign of weakness to apologise to your friend or just be honest with them. If the friendship is important to you then it's worth saving and investing some effort and time. Good luck mate :-)

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