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I made a terrible decision when hypermanic

Posted , 4 users are following.

catarratto
catarratto

About 2 years ago I had a bad 'flare up ' of my bipolar symptoms which culminated in a crash last year. It started when a next door neighbour started a small fire from the inside of their house which was next door to ours on a terrace. You can imagine being extremely anxious at the time and it did not help my racing thoughts especially as the street was crawling with police and fire engines. It got so bad my paranoia was through the roof. My husband lost his brother and step mum in a fire too so he was angry to say the least. Anyway a few months later I saw the person involveds family who are just awful. They are very mouthy and I think because of all the stress I had a go at them and one of them threatened me although I can't remember this, my friend told me as I was regrettably drunk at the time. Anyway, my head was racing so much and I was so distressed I decided to move. I had lived there for 7 years with no problems and the kids all used to play together. I hit a massive depression last year and I am still struggling to get better. We have now had to temporarily move in with my parents as I was so depressed I could barely function and will find somewhere of our own when I'm better. The thing is, all I can think about is the house I left and if it wasn't for that stupid family I wouldn't have left. I sit and cry about it all the time and feel guilty that I moved my children away from there especially as my daughter said she liked it there the other day and wanted to go back. I feel like I made the decision when I was not mentally stable enough to do so and my nurse and psych have both said don't make massive desicions when you're up or down. Well I did and I feel like I've ruined all our lives. How can I stop this constant thinking. It's awful thinking I'll have to start again after years of feeling settled .

1 like, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • alison81137
    alison81137 catarratto

    Posted

    hi i dont have bi polar, however i made a rash decision 3 years ago . i had a baby premature at the time. my partner was going to move in with me and my older daughter but bcus it happened so quic with the baby i ended up moving in with my partner in a compltely different area. my older daughter didnt want to move schools so i agreed orher to stay with her dad. 3 years on and ive had po natal depression thats beenleft untreated and i miss my othe daugher terribly andmy life. i havent built alife her i dnt know anyody and have no friends or family around.....i so regret my decision back then and obviously there is no going back . my younger daughter who is noow 3 has strted nursery school here and this is where my partners job is. s alhough im not in the same situation as you i do understand the torture youu must put yourself though. i am awaiting cbt whch apparently will help me .....ive been on the waiting list for over a year! what a joke . i do hope you can find a way to deal with it and if you find any relief let me know :-)  
    • catarratto
      catarratto alison81137

      Posted

      Thanks Alison for your kind words. Maybe when you're feeling better you might be able to join social groups or go to college etc although I know how difficult it can be. Is there anyway you could move back in the future? I'm hoping all these feelings are more prevalent in my mind because I'm not feeling so good at the moment. It seemed the right thing to do at the time. Maybe get in touch about CBT and see if it can be hurried up. It's terrible to have to wait so long. PM me if you want x
  • London_ridge
    London_ridge catarratto

    Posted

    We all make what we think are mistakes in life. It's ok your human. It's hard not to want to kick yourself but be kind to yourself

    Let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself.

    You did the best you could at the time

    I sure hope you feel better very soon

    💙💚💜💜💘💘💖💛

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