I made a terrible decision when hypermanic
Posted , 4 users are following.
About 2 years ago I had a bad 'flare up ' of my bipolar symptoms which culminated in a crash last year. It started when a next door neighbour started a small fire from the inside of their house which was next door to ours on a terrace. You can imagine being extremely anxious at the time and it did not help my racing thoughts especially as the street was crawling with police and fire engines. It got so bad my paranoia was through the roof. My husband lost his brother and step mum in a fire too so he was angry to say the least. Anyway a few months later I saw the person involveds family who are just awful. They are very mouthy and I think because of all the stress I had a go at them and one of them threatened me although I can't remember this, my friend told me as I was regrettably drunk at the time. Anyway, my head was racing so much and I was so distressed I decided to move. I had lived there for 7 years with no problems and the kids all used to play together. I hit a massive depression last year and I am still struggling to get better. We have now had to temporarily move in with my parents as I was so depressed I could barely function and will find somewhere of our own when I'm better. The thing is, all I can think about is the house I left and if it wasn't for that stupid family I wouldn't have left. I sit and cry about it all the time and feel guilty that I moved my children away from there especially as my daughter said she liked it there the other day and wanted to go back. I feel like I made the decision when I was not mentally stable enough to do so and my nurse and psych have both said don't make massive desicions when you're up or down. Well I did and I feel like I've ruined all our lives. How can I stop this constant thinking. It's awful thinking I'll have to start again after years of feeling settled .
1 like, 3 replies
alison81137 catarratto
Posted
catarratto alison81137
Posted
London_ridge catarratto
Posted
Let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself.
You did the best you could at the time
I sure hope you feel better very soon
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