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I think I have anxiety, but also some kind of dissociative disorder?

Posted , 3 users are following.

dietbeverage
dietbeverage

I'm 17 years old. Almost every night, I've started having panic attacks again (I used to get them at 14 and 15). I fear death. I fear it because I will never be able to experience anything again, because everything is temporary. This thing will happen to me where suddenly I feel like I'm old and about to die, because I know everything is going to rush by and before I know it I'll be old and near neath. It terrifies me. It's like some kind of dissociative thing and I cant focus on anything because all I can think about is everything ending. I don't feel like myself, now, in the present. I feel like I have already lived my life, somehow. The only times I really feel like myself in the moment are when I'm pushing myself at taekwondo or I'm doing music. I feel like something terrible is going to happen to me at any moment, and it sets me on edge and I'm afraid, and I don't know why. There are also moments when I begin to have a panic attack where things around me don't seem real, and I feel the compulsive need to race outside and grab handfuls of grass to remind myself that I really exist. I get urging, frantic thoughts to run my hands over something with a peculiar texture to feel something and be grounded. When I'm with my boyfriend, I grab onto his back and pull it tight, or bury my hands in his hair. In bed, I'll grab at the sheets or the comforter, or rush to the bathroom and feel the water running. Nothing around me feels like it's actually happening, and I'm unable to do anything about it.

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • jane75220
    jane75220 dietbeverage

    Posted

    Has your dr considered a referral to a neurologist?
    • jane75220
      jane75220

      Posted

      You may have mild epilepsy. This is treatable and will improve your quality of life once treated if it turns out to be a form of epilepsy. It is called deja vu.
  • borderriever
    borderriever dietbeverage

    Posted

    We cannot do anything about our death or what our Prognosis may be, we may die today or it may be twenty years time.

    A baby is born, it dies straight away it have no way to know if it will live or die, all any of us can say is we are going to die and live our lives. We live then die, we make use of the time we are given and that is all we can do

    BOB

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