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I try and i try but still my step son doesnt like me!!!

Posted , 2 users are following.

kelli04340
kelli04340

I have been with my bf nearly 3 years and i have a daughter from prev rel who is 11 and he has a son from prev rel who is 12.  My daughter although has her dad around her constantly absolutely idolises my partner and treats him with respect etc which is way i have bought my daughter up.  I have been quite strict on my daughter in respect of teaching her right from wrong, respecting people, clearing up after herself etc etc. Which i dont think is a bad thing as she is so polite etc although she does act a lot older i am getting her back chat already but it is quickly diffused.

I met my OH 3 years ago and was introduced to his child after 6 months and initially he just did not want to know me but i started to do fun things like trampolining, football, walks in woods, all things i knew he would enjoy as well as us and he did. He is still tho so disrespectful, he gets in hissy fits if he is asked to tidy his room (the mess he has made), put his rubbish in the bin, etc.  My daughter lives with us and we see son every other weekend due to schooling and distance he lives from us buit this weekend was horrible as he spoke out of turn to me so i did have a go back and tell him not to speak to me like that.  I treat my daughter and him exactly the same and i would not expect my daughter to even talk to me like that.

However when hes at his mums home he is the prince and gets everything done for him. He literally does nothing at home and he speaks to his mum like rubbish and is not disaplined. The reason i know this is she txt my OH the other day at the end of her tether and said the way son speaks to her is disgusting etc and wont do anything for her etc, My OH basically said well you do let him walk all over you so what do you expect. disapline him and he will start to listen but she doesnt.

I am so upset as this weekend was really hard and i see my OH face and he does feel like he is stuck in the middle of us. If he sides with me he makes his son unhappy and he sides with his son he makes me unhappy. We have booked a holiday for August and im so scared as the last couple of holidays we have been on his son will not leave his side, He is my OH shadow. Will not do n e thing without him even down to going to the toilet.  My daughter is very independant so will go to pool my herself or make friends etc.

I have even got to the point today where i have txt my OH and asked if maybe we should split as its not fair on him.  I dont want to but what more can i do to try and difuse this and make everyone happy,.

Please say that there are people out there in similar situations and can anyone give me a bit of advice.

 

3 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Outhwaite
    Outhwaite kelli04340

    Posted

    I expect there are many couples in the same position and I really hope they answer your questions on how best to handle things. I certainly wouldn't tolerate his bad behaviour. You have brought up your daughter very well and your boyfriend should be the one to discipline his son. His mother sounds lie a doormat so it is HER fault that her son has turned out like this. I have never been in this situation, so really can't help with any advice but, personally, I'd tell him you expect him to be respectful and also tidy up his junk! It is not acceptable in any way. I would not break up with your OH over this, stick to your guns and have it out with his son. Hope you get more answers and advice. Regards, Val.
    • kelli04340
      kelli04340 Outhwaite

      Posted

      Thanks Val, looking at google i know there are so many people in the same situation and hope i do get some help and assistance. It is so hard and i do love my OH but this is torture for me as well as i am suffering my own problems what with depression, underactive thyroid and anxiety so i am trying

       

  • kelli04340
    kelli04340

    Posted

    Anyone else's advise please as 4

    Months on and he is still exactly

    The same and I hate it

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