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im tired

Posted , 7 users are following.

justagirl72279
justagirl72279

i really dont know what to say, but i feel like if i dont say anything I'll just give up on everything 

i am sooo tired of crying, of worrying that no one cares about me, of wanting to be someone im not, of hoping that people will notice me yet i feel so silly for feeling that way, people are going through so much more than me in this world and yet here i am crying because no one cares about me 

i want to stop, i want the voice that keeps telling me no one cares to go away, i want to be happy, i want to be confident, to feel that im pretty , to feel that people love me, to feel wanted, to feel cherished 

i want it all to stop, i just want to feel normal, whatever normal is, but i know its not this 

I cant keep saying im fine but on the inside i feel as though im drowning in my own tears, in my own sadness 

too be honest, the only reason that  i keep going is because i hope one day to make heaven and to finally have peace 

i dont know what to do or who to talk to, i just want to stop crying 

1 like, 19 replies

19 Replies

  • patricia44773
    patricia44773 justagirl72279

    Posted

    You need to see your doctor.  This is pure depression and you need help from the professionals.  Have you sought help from anyone other than on here? 

    Have you got family, have you confided in anyone?  Tell us more and we will try to help.  You should not be going through this on your own, and there is no need for you to do so, there is so much help out there, you just need to look for it.

    Let us know more please.

    Patxxx

    • justagirl72279
      justagirl72279 patricia44773

      Posted

      I know it is, but to be honest i come from a family where things like depression arent really spoken about, even if i wasnt okay, i cant tell my parents that, i need them to think im okay, they've always worried about me and i dont like making them worry any more than they already do, i dont think they like to here it when I say that things aren't good

       its just been really tough for me, everytime I feel like im okay, things just feel like they're crumbling all over again. 

      im in university but i didnt manage to get student accomodation, i honestly feel all alone because my house mates dont come out of their room and they rarely talk to me, i always walk to and from uni by myself and it really makes me feel alone

      even with the people on my course, i dont know why i cant say anything to them, i always feel afraid to talk to people, and no matter what people say to me i find it hard

      thank you for responding, i just needed somewhere to put all my thoughts done, it just felt too much for me at the time 

  • lattifa7777
    lattifa7777 justagirl72279

    Posted

    Awwww sweet heart, plz plz take some deep breaths in through your nose and out slowly from your mouth, I know you dont know me, but I care that you are feeling so bad, I am too, more so a couple of weeks ago.

    I know how you feel, like you will never feel better, like their is no end. But there will be, for all of us who are suffering. How long have you been like this? And have you ever gone to the Drs?

    • justagirl72279
      justagirl72279 lattifa7777

      Posted

      thank you for your words,even if i dont know you, i still appreciate your words, what you've said is probably more than what most people have ever said to me when im feeling sad so thank you 

      you dont know how comforting your words have been to me 

    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 justagirl72279

      Posted

      Anytime, you need to talk, I'm here, I'm glad you feel some relief. Plz dont hesitate to message anytime, day or night. Just talking to someone can really help. Everyone on here I very supportive, I really do think that a chat with your Dr would be good. You dont have to take medicine, my just some talking therapy, you can always call Samaratines too, they are kind and are there to listen. Keep strong, and keep on here if it comforts you.

      Xxx big hugs

  • RHGB
    RHGB justagirl72279

    Posted

    Go to your GP, get them to refer you to a psychiatrist. I was not a great believer in them, but I had one assigned to me because I spent two months in hosiptal last year with a massive stroke.

    She has been so helpful and understanding, and has not tried to do anything silly like trying to get in my head or ask if I suffered abuse as a child. If you get a good one,they can really help.

  • Veronica111
    Veronica111 justagirl72279

    Posted

    Oh, your story is so familiar to me! I feel exactly the same, only you have put it in a much better way than I could. Sending hugs and cuddles. I feel bad for feeling sad when people have much more to cope with than me. Keep in touch. xx
    • justagirl72279
      justagirl72279 Veronica111

      Posted

      thank you, thats one of my main problems, i hate feeling like this because there are bigger problems out there than what im going through, im sure things will get better, at least i hope they will xx
    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 justagirl72279

      Posted

      Dont feel guilty for feeling the way you do sweet heart, its really not ur fault.

      Its depression an illness that make you feel very low, and can happen to anyone. Xxx

  • Zenna
    Zenna justagirl72279

    Posted

    Take some deep breaths,to help yourself when your in a crisis,there's a method called self sooth,which can be really basics when you are finding things really hard.like when bad thoughts come into your mind,it's using all your sences like smell touch taste ,it's to distract  the voices in your head,..to do this it can be something small, eg.like eating chocolate or smelling your favorite perfume.touch a cozy teddy or dressing gown.listen to soothing music.time yourself every 5 mins it does work.there are lots of diffrent things,u can do,another really good one is when the voices are so bad say to yourself over n over the word THE THE,as it has no meaning.keep repeating it,it calms thoughts down also it's good for helping get to sleep.hope this helps you...x
  • audrey96558
    audrey96558 justagirl72279

    Posted

    Hate to be the one to say it, but is uni really for you? So many people our age feel they should or have to go to uni, despite how they feel.

    Are you happy doing what you're doing?

    Is there Anything else you'd like to do?

    Good luck my darling xxx

    • justagirl72279
      justagirl72279 audrey96558

      Posted

      hi, 

      sometimes i dont really think it is, but i cant really give up when ive only really just begun, my parents have invested too much into my education for me to just give up and disappoint them 

      i really dont know if im happy, one day i feel happy, the next i feel sad, i dont know really whats wrong with me, i just want to be like everyone else, having loads of friends, participating in different things in uni but i feel like im just going through the motions 

      thanks for your well wishes i forgot to say in the beginning of my sighlty long message 

  • patricia44773
    patricia44773 justagirl72279

    Posted

    How are you today, Justagirl? 

    Sending hugs.

    Patxxx

    • justagirl72279
      justagirl72279 patricia44773

      Posted

      hi

      im doing better today, i think that it all just a little bit too much for me yesterday, i might talk to my parents about everything but im not sure

      thank you for checking up on me, i was really having a hard time yesterday

    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 justagirl72279

      Posted

      I think your parents will be more understanding than you imagine, they love you and wouldn't want to see you suffering.

      I am glad you are doing a little better, you are very brave.

      Pat xxx

    • Digsby
      Digsby justagirl72279

      Posted

      Hi,

      I must admit that my first term at university was pretty hellish and I found it hard to fit in. I'm assuming things weren't quite this dire before you started your course - are you sure you are enjoying it? Is it the right course? University is not just a time for hard slog. There are loads of clubs and societies that you could investigate (probably full of other young people trying to find their feet during their first adventure away from home). Try not to compare yourself too much with other people (although of course it is human nature to do so) because it's causing you such distress). Yes, there are people worse off and better off than you. That makes no difference to how you should feel. But don't put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. The harder you try to overthink things, the worse it can become. Anything you can do to relax is good (especially the self-soothing techniques Zenna shared - these can be really effective when you find what workd for you). The university has a duty of care and should offer some sort of medical/counselling services - can you investigate those? Hang in there! My first term was a write-off but I did eventually settle in and find friends (and my future wife). Once you have found a connection with some other people, you might get the opportunity to move house. You are not overeaacting though - this is a big step in your life. Just go with the flow and make the most of it. I have seen posts on here from other uni students so you are not alone in how you feel. We really hope that you feel more settled very soon. Don't be afraid to seek the help that you need.

      Hugs, Digsby x

    • justagirl72279
      justagirl72279 Digsby

      Posted

      thank you for your kind words and advise, i am trying and there some days when i feel happy and it looks like things are improving but on the whole i feel so lonely at times , im just hoping things will get better, i cant let my emotions keep bringing me down so im just trying really hard to stay optimistic 
    • Digsby
      Digsby justagirl72279

      Posted

      It sounds like you are doing a really good job of keeping positive in a tough situation. My whole life I have had people telling me to be more "resilient". Unfortunately, stuff happens and I'm a sensitive guy so I feel it quite deeply but I have learnt to not take things quite so personally. Everyone can have a bad day and some of those people might cross your path and take it out on you (with a sarcastic comment or unfriendly word). Try to give them the benefit of the doubt...but don't be a door-mat and allow people to disrespect you. Learn when to be assertive and when it's not worth the effort. You didn't say whether you were actually enjoying your course - what is it you're studying?

      Can you connect with people another way when you feel isolated or lonely? Facebook perhaps, or texting friends & family members just to say "hi" or ask how their day is going. Music is a great companion and headphones/earphones a way of blocking out the rest of the world when you want to. Have you got the time or inclination to join any clubs or societies - this would bring you into contact with like-minded people.

      Well done again for keeping so positive. Don't let the bad days get to you; just believe from past experience that things can and will get better.

      Please keep in touch as we care how things go for you :-)

      Digsby x

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