Methdedone Vs Depression

I,m sorry abt the late reply, just got my internet up & running again!

Its been a Pain in the ass, Lol

Yes Looks like you,ve been on the green as long as me, Please let me no how the withdrawel went, really hope it worked Out for you! I'm still stuck on this & hate myself for it, been on it that long now i fear coming off it, tried Rehab back in 96, but found it too Redgiment, I've never really had a problem with Alcholol & do like a drink at Xmas/Holidays to you, if i'm assuming your from the US, I,m Uk, but same addictions nevertheless, can't tell you the amount of years I,ve gone from being Stable on M, to having short lapse,s to full blown Relapes on Illicit drugs, going out & round in Circles, I'm getting way to old for this, Sick of having to face my Support Worker & filling out bloody Care plan after Care plan, same old crap & going to a local chemist/Pharmacey every week, Ok i've Reduced to 35mls for 80mls, but its taken me the best part of 20yrs to do that, Its Shamful, I seriously need to get my Act together before I'm the big 50, but feel stuck with no way Out, its like I haven't the Energy to make that plunge to stop Using M & the other sh*t, its like you get to a stage where you feel Defeated & have no Control anymore, as soon as I wake up the first thought is i want to Use, then have a little fight with myself, Like a devil on one Shoulder saying Its Ok use today will stop tommrow & Angel on the other side saying don't do it, you can stop its not worth it, the Crazy thing is its not though its any good anyway, it does nothing, but Just don't no how to stop :-( So i have too battles going on here the Green stuff & the H, wtf am i doing with my life, So many health issues because of this lifestyle i,ve chosen, no one to blame but myself, Yes NA & AA says you can't help it, Its not  your fault you were born an Addict & its a Progressive Disease, but can't help thinking there is no one else to blame but myself, I chose to Use & think the only one that can help me Stop, Is Me, Why does life have to be so Complicated, But i suppose us Addicts Complicate the most simple things!! Lol..You no Restart at the end of the day i suppose what i'm saying is that if your ready to quit there is nothing stopping you, think we need to have a bit of self beleifin ourselves, I'm got to be honest i may start going back to NA for Support, see i haven't been to a meeting for so many years i think fear & i suppose a bit of Embarresment stops me going! but got to face the fear full on & Just get on with it, I admitt i can't do this alone & need Proper support! But a bit of advice here please be carful going cold turkey as it can be Dangerous & if you do make sure somone is there with you, try reducing bit by bit if you were unable to go though ct & try get some support mate, I,m going to try everything i possibly can now to get rid of this addictive way of life & try somthing different, Lifes too short, well it will be in my Case if i don't do somthing asap, All the very Best mate, Stay Focused & as Positive as you can, should be saying that to myself!!! hahaha x

Sorry its taken a while to get back to you, been having Internet Problems,

But my advice to you would be to be really carful going C.T, as it can be a real shock to the system Just stopping like that after so many years being on the Green & can be Dangerous aswel, if you already have done it that way & you Succseeded then well done to you, hope there was somone watching over you while you went though C.T, But don't feel too bad if you wasn't able to do it, Its very hard, you got to rememeber the years its been in your System,my advice would be to take it easy & do it bit by bit, I'm going to strat to go to NA again i think, as i no now that I'm unable to do this alone & need support, have you ever been to a NA Meeting? Listen stay focused & keep Positive, you will get there, think i should be telling myself that aswel, Lol, Please drop me a line & let me no how you got on or not with CT, All the very Best x

Ok so, I have managed to stop using the meth, been clean for the past three weeks now into my fourth, I did need to use at a couple of points, but tryed to only use enougth to lift me from the depths of hell..maybe three times...( I now have pupils again :-) ) been pined for so many years its quite odd looking in a mirror.

Ok, its your turn now, this can be done, with strength & a need to get this crap out of your system..

How are you doing with it,? have you lowered your dose any since your lats post?.

Thank you for your reply & positive words, it makes a difference, be strong....

Well done you!

You must have been ready to change & Obivisouly Positive thinking helped, I have been though Detox before & it is hard, hate not being able to sleep & sweating that goes on for months, Lol..But now you have done it that hardest part starts, Staying Clean!! you will have days when you just want to use, i don't need to tell you anything really because you,ve been there, Just remember the long Road you have been down & don't go back there, Look forward now & enjoy the rest of your life free from Chemicals, a new you, you,ve come this far don,t look back!!

all the very best mate,

One day at a time :-)

ill hopefully be following suite, Just need to get my act together now!

Stay strong! x

Its so Bloody hard, especially when you have been on methadone for such a long time, I'm not helping myself by messing up in between, Its somthing i no i can only do myself, no one can do it for me, I feel as an addict you give yourself such a hard time, feeling ashamed is a big one, letting people you love down, it must be so hard for you also being the Parent & seeing your son having to go through this, the struggles you must have gone though, my heart goes out to you ann,

but bet your son hates himself for it, addiction is such an evil thing, can take the strongest of people down!  especially with the health issues that comes with abuse of using for years! Methadone is an Opiate & strong painkiller so other medicines don't come close, as our tolerance is so very high, for an example i went into hospital 2,weeks ago to have my GallBladder removed & because i was on methadone they treated me like i had the Plague of something, they gave me 2 Paracetamol every 4hrs, which didn't do a thing for the pain, & the Aneicertist asked me to bring my own dose of methadone into hospital to save them having to sort it out, So did as they told me, they locked it up, & wouldn't give me my Prescribed dose on the evening, Only kept me in over night, but i couldn't sleep & was in terrible pain after the Op, there excuse was they would have to get in touch with my Gp/Doctor to confirm that i took the amount i said i did, even though it was stated on my bottle, & because it was a sunday they couldn't get in touch with GP, didn't get my dose until 10mins before i was leaving the hospital, I hate Ignorance, they treat people with addictions so bad in hospitals, especially in the UK,

I've really had enough of this crap now Ann & seriously need to get off this stuff, Infact i've been on methadone for 25yrs & do fear coming off it, I suppose its like a crutch, your emotions disappear on methadone amoungst other things!! Lol, but going to find some Support & help out there now, can't carry on like this, & I suppose your son feels the same way, stuck in a rut!! your a good mother Ann, Supporting your Son like you do, I no it isn't easy at times & bet you feel like shaking him & say pull yourself together, wish it was as easy as that Ann, but Bless your heart & Keep stong & look after yourself aswel love,

Hugs xxx

If there are any medical professionals reading this, could they clarify policy on this matter.

I take morphine pills and it eases anxiety.

But have you considered cutting down the daily dose and seeing how you cope with life?

I told my friend not to take his morphine bottle with him when he was admitted as I knew they would lock it up and not give it back. It happened to me when I had a bottle of valium. When I was discharged I asked for the bottle and they said "you don't need it now".

Also changing the subject slightly I went to visit a person I had met on the ward and the nurse told me I had left some clothes in my locker BUT I couldn't have them now as they were buzy.

Poxy NHS!