My Journey with Prozac - Journal/Diary
Posted , 20 users are following.
I've decided to document my journey starting prozac/fluoxetine as a way to cope and record my progress, as well as possibly help others!
Day 1 (Wednesday, Oct. 28):
I was prescribed 10mg of prozac this day and took it early, around 8:30. I had been suffering depression and anxiety which came out of nowhere for 5 weeks and decided to start medication. This was a normal depressed day, but it faded 80% at 6:00 like usual. I went to dinner with a friend and felt somewhat good 
Day 2:
Bad morning anxiety. I think I was depressed most of the day, it did gt better around 6:00pm.
Day 3:
I woke up with my usual morning anxiety and bad diarrhea. But on this Friday I had an exam and noticed after that my intrusive thoughts had started to fade! They were still there but didn't scare me (fear of death, fear of time running out). I went home to visit my family this day and felt happier, though tired at times.
Day 4:
I was very busy Halloween day. Me and my siblings drove all around town to find last minute details for their costumes.I noticed around 2 that I was feeling down again. By 6:30, I had forgotten my worries and was in the moment! I enjoyed my night
Day 5:
Struggled to eat in the morning. Felt like gagging when I tried to take a bite, but I forced it down anyways. I was at a park trying to relax but the anxiety/butterflies feeling was strong. Throughout the day I had bouts of crying and hopelessness. At 4 I felt great again, not perfect but good!
Day 6:
Monday morning I had to go back to my apartment and say bye to the family. I have to increase to 20mg on Wednesday so I did around 13mg today. Bad morning anxiety like usual, and around 10:30 I had a complete breakdown and cried driving back. My mom talked with me over the phone for awhile to help me get through. I went to class and around 2:30, I noticed something weird. I wanted to listen to my music! I love music but haven't been able to listen to anyhting these past few weeks. I felt 99%! I was so happy, I actually went out to my favorite restaurant alone for the first time in awhile. Great day, no relapse!
Day 7:
Today the morning anxiety was pretty bad. I took 15 mg to prepare for the 2 tomorrow. I had a major, major panic attack as bad as my first one ever, I started crying uncontrollably. It lasted 1 minute because I stopped myself and asked "Am I going to let anxiety do this to me?" I took .5mg of xanax (which never helps me) and much to my suprise, I felt soooo normal at 1:30! I even danced around the room. Later that night I went to a movie with a friend and noticed a small amount of anxiety, like a slight gagging feeling. It strangely didn't go away at night like usual, but today was still pretty great! No depression today.
Day 8:
Increased to 20mg today. I had really bad morning anxiety and went for m CBT, we did a meditation exercise where you breath and imagine an ocean and I literally was having more anxiety! SO around 10:45 I took a xanax... I thought I was going to pass out. I just wanted to sleep all day. It was very hard to go to class after being in bed so long. At home I just tried to watch TV and distract myself. Didn't feel better in the evening like I usually do which was strange. Heightened anxiety all day!
Day 9:
Horrible day. Morning anxiety and bad, bad diarrhea. I could barely eat today, I had a small piece of pizza, and later on a smoothie. I stayed in bed most of the day which is very strange for me, but luckily my friend came around 5. I still had low anxiety, but had a better time a night.
Day 10:
I was on the verge of a panic attack in the car today, but I wanted to stay calm for my friend. I couldn't eat so I drank half of a smoothie. My friend left today around 10 am. When I got home, I had bad diarrhea and started crying. I took .25mg of xanax. So I climbed in bed and started writing this which has helped, I do feel less anxious. But the intrusive thoughts are starting to depress me again, although they are manageable.
5 likes, 87 replies
julian33896
Posted
So happy to say that after around 2:45 my depression went away today. I was able to eat and be productive and just enjoy my alone time. Very, very mild anxiety when I think about waking up tomorrow to a new day (and possibly new struggles).
kaci0508 julian33896
Posted
julian33896 kaci0508
Posted
kaci0508 julian33896
Posted
julian33896 kaci0508
Posted
kaci0508 julian33896
Posted
Also, so sorry for your loss! Hugs!
julian33896
Posted
Today I got up feeling very anxious. I felt like I had the flu actually, and I stayed in bed from 8-1:00pm. When I finally got up, I went out for a drive and my mom called me and was talking about a trip to Hawaii we are going to go on this summer, which has always been a dream of mine... but I felt nothing. Just sad. After she hung up I broke down crying, my depression has come back and little things are starting to trigger my emotions again
At 3:30 I went out with a friend and felt a lot better than before. Around 8:00pm the anxiety returned though not as bad as in the morning.
julian33896
Posted
I woke up with the usual morning anxiety, but it was much more manageable than the day before. I did cry around 2 but that was because I heard something very sad, so not unusual! The low anxiety persisted all day unfortunately until around 6:00pm, but little things still triggered my depression/worries.
julian33896
Posted
This might be the weirdest day of my life. Woke up yesterday with morning anxiety like usual, but it was much easier to deal with. So all day I felt on the verge of normal, but with this slight anxiety you feel when ou are excited but scared to try something, like a rollercoaster. It is a hard feeling to describe. Anyways, I went to class normally and then was going back to my hometown to visit my family for fall break. I felt much better today and was very optimistic about beating depression and anxiety! But when I got home my mom was in tears, my father who I haven't seen in years had committed suicide. At first I didn't really react as I barely know him anymore, but by night the depression and anxiety kicked in and I started bawling in the bathroom. At least now I have a reason to feel depressed! But it's just horrible that all this happens at such a tough time... it's like there is never a break.
julian33896
Posted
Well today I woke up early to take my brother to school. My anxiety was like usual in the morning but of course after I dropped off my brother I cried a lot because of my dad. My stomach hurt so badly all day, it was horrible and didn't go away
A lot off my family came in to town so that was good, but off course the fear of impending death is hitting me hard right now!
julian33896
Posted
Surprisingly my depression has greatly improved over the past few days. I still have light morning anxiety accompanied with diarrhea. Right now the symptoms that have persisted are: morning anxiety, fear of time running out/wasting time, fear of being alone, and butterflies in the stomach when thinking about these.
julian33896
Posted
This was one of my best days so far. I had light morning anxiety and did panic when I looked at the time occasionally, but overall I felt a lot more normal and was able to do things more easily today. Hopefully I continue to improve!
julian33896
Posted
Today I woke up with my usual morning anxiety, but unfortunately it persisted all day long! It was one of the bad days... but around 6:30 it went away and I could control my thoughts more regularly again.
julian33896
Posted
I woke up with mild morning anxiety, and had a pretty good day! I had this strange empty feeling and light butterflies in my stomach but it was definitely manageable.
julian33896
Posted
One of the worst days
I know it's bad when I start looking up symptoms on google and posting on the forums! So today I dropped off my little brother at school and went home. My grandma and I ran some errands, but the whole time I felt like I was going to pass out. I could barely walk in the stores, and when I got home I just sat on the couch tryimg to distract myself and suddenly I was having a panic attack. The flu like symptoms were coming on strong and I started crying uncontrollably. I hugged my grandma who has been through anxiety and depression (and still suffers from time to time, which scares me) and then I called my mom who helped calm me down. I took .25mg of Xanax and then my grandma and I went to pick up my siblings from school. On the way there I started to feel very calm and relaxed, but the fatigue was pretty bad all night. I was falling asleep at 6! All night I was anxious about having to go back to my apartment in Orlando the next day and looking at the time scared me 
so yes... Bad day!
julian33896
Posted
I woke up with horrible anxiety at 4:30 am and just didn't want to leave my house to go to college overnight. I was dreading being alone, but I took .5mg of Xanax and made my way to Orlando after dropping off my little brother. I had very bad depression all day long with little anxiety, and I was so tired. The fatigue was very bad, but I still managed to eat an entire lunch at 2:30. After my second class, I went home and was trying to do some work but fell asleep at 6:00!!! The fatigue was so bad. So that was my day, depressing and tired!