Posted , 6 users are following.
Hi folks
Haven't been on here for a while been trying to cope with medication, bereavement councillor and cpn. It's my late husband birthday tomorrow I've been in a state all day I've been thinking of going to where his ashes are spread and ending it all I keep thinking of my grandchildren to try and take this away so I turned to alcohol which isn't good. I've been thinking of ringing the Samaritans try and talk this through doesn't help tomorrow.....
0 likes, 15 replies
tina89895
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amy75782 tina89895
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amy75782 tina89895
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katecogs tina89895
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First anniversaries are always difficult, and no doubt his birthday will be an emotional time. Why not have a family day tomorrow - visit his ashes, lay some flowers, go have dinner and a drink to celebrate his life? I do this with my sisters on my parents birthdays and their days of passing, treating it as a special day.
Its not easy I know, and more so when you're suffering with depression. Can you speak to anyone tonight? Friend, family ........ yes do call the Samaritans, they're there to listen.
Having a drink is fine, we all do it, but just be careful how much ;-)
Please speak to someone xxx
tina89895 katecogs
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tina89895
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katecogs tina89895
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tina89895 katecogs
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katecogs tina89895
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My son cut himself a few times in the depths of his depression and anxiety, and also found himself in more dire circumstances too in which I had to involve the police. It upset him and also myself and the family, but he'll always be my little boy whom I love, whatever happens. He didn't want to hurt himself or anyone, but I understand this is a symptom of anxiety and he just wanted it to stop. The pain it caused all round was tremendous, and today I still think about it. We talked loads, he got treatment from the hospital, councilling etc and he's now on the mend. Though he doesn't venture out much, I hear him laughing, he has hobbies which he enjoys, and we're still taking each day and week as it comes.
When in the grip of anxiety people do find cutting a way of releasing tension, but the best way to release it is by exercising on the spot, dancing, anything that raises the heart rate. It really does help.
Depression is a vile illness and it's not fussy who it chooses as it's victims ... but this illness is treatable, it can be overcome, it does get better.
Please don't cut yourself anymore - you're too precious and loved by many.
I've lost 7 close members of my family in recent years, one only my age. Our family unit has changed, the key people gone ..... and though the deep sadness has passed and there's a big void left, we continue to celebrate them on their birthdays and their 'special days' of their passings
Today is a special day for you and your family, and hope you go visit your husbands special place and you also have fun visiting your grandchildren. He'll be watching over you all xxx
Take care
K xx
David_21660 tina89895
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We all wish we could make it better for you, but we can't. We are here for you though, remember that, please!
If you do go visit the spot today, please don't drive, get a friend or a taxi to get you there and back. Having a special place to visit means it will always be there, just remember the best place to keep loved ones is in the heart, that means they are always with you forever, whatever!
We pray you will have the strength today to see through the haze and get to tomorrow. It doesn't matter how you get there, get there if you can! We'll be waiting you, your Forum Family!
Peace, Love & Blessings,
David & Ann X
OglopKing tina89895
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First of all it's nice to meet you, though I wish it were under different circumstances. I'm very sorry for your loss a year ago, and I'm sure it has been so very hard on you and your family.
Depression is an insidious pest. If we're on this board it's because all of us, or someone close to us has been affected by it. It's just something we need to accept, and fight against using all of the weapons at our disposal.
Family. Friends. Health services. Community. They're all equally important to my battle with it and I hope you have people you can talk with.
I think that you should honor your late husband by remembering him, and remembering that he wouldn't want you to feel this way. That he'd do his best to make you feel whole again, and I don't know your beliefs but I imagine he's watching over you. You say you cut yourself, but the pain you feel from that is not going to be a proxy for the pain your soul feels. The pain is temporary and it can feel good to have an anchor to point to in order to explain the emotional pain you feel. In the end it's a lie, and the pain inside does not subside, it just digs in deeper and the cuts become more frequent as your pain threshold increases.
Don't cut yourself anymore. Please. Use this community, or reach out to someone here that you feel comfort from talking with and arrange a call on the phone or skype. We've all been down the path of hopelessness or loss, and none of us want to see you hurt.
Life is for the living, and you're very much alive. The days are hard, sure, but with help and friendship and the belief that you'll get better the clouds will slowly, but surely, disappear as fast as they've come.
Take care today, and get well soon.
tina89895
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laura63622 tina89895
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tina89895
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Thanks you again everyone xx
katecogs tina89895
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It sounds beautiful by the loch with the mountains and snow reflected in the water - I'd have done the same, laid down and listened to the wildlife and watched the sky.
Its true that time is a great healer ..... but we never lose them from our hearts.
K xx
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