Posted , 6 users are following.
When having sex it seems like it takes up to two hours before I finish. Hell usually we are too spent before that. I stay rock hard and have a small feeling or urge but nothing. What gives, anyone have this issue?
0 likes, 11 replies
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james88919 jeffdapuller
Posted
Is this true of using your hand or oral, or just intercourse? Has this been an issue before (if there have been times before)? Some guys have trouble finishing with intercourse, sometimes different positions or angles can help. Also if you are circumcised sometimes that can dull the sensation (foreskin restoration may help), or if you are not circumcised sometimes the foreskin stays forward and for some guys can reduce sensation as well (Phimosis - which usually can be treated without surgery). Another possibility is that some medications, such as antidepressants, can severly affect the ability to orgasm. There are a lot of possibilities so I would talk to your doctor first and if that doesn't turn up anything then keep looking for answers.
dave_54993 jeffdapuller
Posted
Hi Jeff, If by "spent" you mean under the influence of alcohol, then, your dick is feeling the effects of the alcohol. It usually starts when you get in your 30s. After than it's best to have sex when sober. For me, I could not. I needed to be buzzed to keep the demons in my head to keep quiet.
Maybe you should experiement and try another substance or less alcohol. Just make sure you have a lot of fun. Something I didn't; too busy thinking....
My best!
DL
loo52033 dave_54993
Posted
Thinking what?
Id be intrested I think I'm a sex thinker just interested as now this may be the reason I don't like sex x
jeffdapuller
Posted
Oh no I don't drink alcohol that much but yet it did happen both when buzzed and sober. No I meant me going at it for up to two hours straight non stop you kinda get spent.
dave_54993 jeffdapuller
Posted
I agree that you should check with a doctor. If you don't get the answer to satisfy you go to another doctor. I have first hand experience with antidepressants. They can chill down any sex drive depending on the amount or tollerance.
You are young and you are going to need everything fuctioning correctly. Think of it as a tresure hunt. Go find the pot of gold.
loo52033 dave_54993
Posted
Can I ask what you meant by this please?
dave_54993 loo52033
Posted
Hi loo,
"keeping the demons away," is an expression used to discribe the continuous repetitive thoughts and keep intruding on something as special as having sex with someone special.
These thoughts have kept me from "being in the moment" and have, quite frankly, made it difficult to enjoy the experience.
Some of the thoughts could be concerns about being abandoned, appreciated, "am I good enough?", etc.
Getting buzzed helps to some degree but it back have the reverse effect and kill the sex drive. Now, what do you do???? Antianxiety pills will definatley extinquish any sexual charge. New what? What happens when if I can not satisfy my partner's expectations?
This is not an unusual mindset but it can be problematic if you don't have the skill to dance around the situation.
I feel too much alcohol turns the experience to a mindless means to an end with no chance of sustainability. That is what I look for in someone; sustainability.
loo52033 dave_54993
Posted
And do you have any idea why this happens, I have thoughts but there not those ones mine include am I good enough ?he dosnt like me , then sometimes im thinking Aww I don't like you, hurry up ??an finish get this over I don't know why I clam up trying to workout why it's strafe inwasnf always like this we been together over 10 years
jeffdapuller loo52033
Posted
I have been diagnosed with bipolar since 07 and know what those thoughts are all about. I still have them but not as bad since I've been on mood stabilizers ever since.
dave_54993 jeffdapuller
Posted
You might want to check out the 1992 Richard Gear movie, "Mr. Jones". Gear does a great portrail of someone who is bipolar, in the raw, just trying to live a normal life. I highly recommend it; most likely available via Netflix or Amazon.
I eventually found that alcohol through my head off too much. It was definately fun when I was drinking (even a smal amount). But, I usually felt the effect (as a depressant) for days after.
I know the highs are great but it can also be dangerous as "Mr. Jones" found out.
I hope this is helpful. I don't mean to preach to you. We are all trying to survive and, fortunately, through this forum we can do it together.
PVP-ouch jeffdapuller
Posted
Medications for psychiatric conditions can play havoc with libido, with some virtually killing desire overnight.
The other effect they can have is retarding ejaculation. Truly horrible experience as you can keep going and going and going without feeling like cumming. Sometimes it can retard to the point you have to give up because you're either too knackered to go or because one or both of you are getting sore.
If you are able to cum after going and going it can also be a very weak orgasm which is frustrating and not being able to cum in turn lowers mood and feeds into the problem.
If you've been on same meds for quite some time without issue then it might be time to ask the Dr to suggest new medication, and I appreciate getting right meds combination with bi polar can be difficult for some.
If you've recently changed meds then the retarding of ejaculation may be a short lived side effect and if so should clear up our at least improve over a few months.
Medications can play havoc with libido and ability to climax greatly at times, sadly.
Given anti depressant are probably one of the most prescribed meds going there are probably a hell of a lot of men and woman having their sex lives turned upside down and inside out with meds.
If it's not medication related then if you've been through a trauma or very unsettling time recently that can cause issues as well. You might not be consciously thinking about something but the subconscious can be in overdrive.
Alcohol can deaden sensation and prevent climax by the fact the booze has had a desensitizing effect and you'll just keep going and going and going with no release.
If it's not trauma or alcohol related and you've been on meds a long time then see if you can try other meds, even switching a brand can help sometimes.
If meds have been changed recently then it should settle down and normal service resume shortly.
If it's booze related them time to cut back and perhaps address issues that led to heavy, not necessarily excessive, levels
If it's trauma related then trying to get counselling may help.
I know how frustrating and soul destroying this can be as I suffer from it.
Mine is down to combination of meds, morphine and SSRI, trauma and thought of pain as when I ejaculate it can feel like fire ripping through my groin and to try and prevent that my body delays cumming.
Hope you get it sorted
Take care