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Ocd/childhood trauma, what should I deal with first?

Posted , 4 users are following.

donna198021
donna198021

i suffered abuse as a child at age 5 and this issue has suddenly surfaced and really bugging me. I start counselling for this in 2 weeks time but I'm scared Incase I get worse. I have ocd but not severe and my ocd plays on these issues a lot. I get a few intrusive thoughts although I am able to ignore most of them. It's things like I feel like I'm damaged goods. I'm a mother of two lovely children who are happy and healthy and I so want to be normal again for them. I know what happened isn't my fault but I hate having ocd as well as I dont know what to deal with first! The counselling or the ocd? Iv had some cbt but could only go so far as my past issue always seem to pop in somewhere. Where would be the best place to start? Thanks

1 like, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • lorraine52317
    lorraine52317 donna198021

    Posted

    Bless you Donna ♥

    I think the two conditions could very well be interlinked. Abuse of any kind when your child truly leaves a lasting scar on your very essence/soul. You will not completely get rid of the scar, but learn to view the scar as a battle wound. Through your own strength of character have survived. you mentioned you feel at times like 'damaged goods' this is how past abuse has left you feeling and viewing yourself. Try a different approach to your self-perception. Through no fault of your own, Someone/a situation tried to break you, they left you helpless, vulnerable and in pieces. Through the years, you have shown determination to try and repair yourself. You clearly are doing a good job in raising two beautiful sons who are happy and healthy..and im certain love you very much. when we are damaged by past events we repeatedly try to glue all those fragmented pieces together. Sometimes those pieces can become loose, as the glue wasn't strong enough to hold those pieces in place. Eventually you will get your hands on some superglue! then those pieces will stay in place nice and strong. You may still see traces of the cracks from time to time..but you know these cracks represent what you have managed to overcome. Sorry if I'm rambling, but my heart goes out to you. I would suggest certainly get help for the abuse first, this may make the ocd less challenging to conquer.

    God bless you Donna xxx

    • donna198021
      donna198021 lorraine52317

      Posted

      Thank you Lorraine for your lovely reply brought tears to my eyes! I think I'm a little worried about finally facing up to my childhood but it's a good time to do it. I love my children with all my heart and soul and although I feel ok and normally happy in myself I have a lot of raw emotions I think could be causing my mild ocd symptoms. I will go ahead with the counselling. Thank you again 😊
    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 donna198021

      Posted

      Hi Donna

      Yvonne is right we all are individuals and have our own viewpoint. I stand by my view that your ocd is linked to your abuse as a child. I would strongly recommend seeking counselling for this first. Some people may be strong enough to deal with their own demons. Most of us who have suffered abuse feel stuck and do not wish to discuss what's happened to us with family or friends. Therefore those who are stuck, absolutely do need to 'unload' to a trained professional whose objective is to give you the tools and the skills to move forward. Please weigh up your options before ruling this out. As an aside. ..i went to a hypnotist to give up smoking. Off to harley street...paid my £350. Went through my session, came straight out and smoked a ciggy!You will always get conflicting advice,so you need to weigh up what wouwould be best for you and your lovely family. Then go with my advice lol!!!! Xxx♥

    • donna198021
      donna198021 lorraine52317

      Posted

      Thanks Lorraine I think I just need to let the past out and process it properly, and also understand myself a bit more. What is bothering me at the minute Is the Things we do as children growing up learning and exploring our sexuality, my ocd really plays on it. it's like I feel abnormal, when iv asked my husband about these things he said "of course these things are normal, u were little and didn't understand things so you were just curious. Which helps but I don't know why I feel like this? I sort of feel dirty for no reason. Wish I could stop thinking like this. Most of my friends share their stories of growing up and everyone's is similar. My mind is constantly erratic.
    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 donna198021

      Posted

      Bless you Donna

      We all do things we would rather forget when we were smaller and then into adolescence. Honestly you are really not alone Donna.

      You need to let it go ..wash it away from your heart and soul if you can. Your husband sounds wonderful and what he is saying is true. Youngsters and curiosity seems to go hand in hand!

      Whatever it is, stop punishing yourself. Look at you now! A wonderful mum with a beautiful family that adores you. We are all human and do things we regret in the journey to maturity. .. that doesn't make it dirty.

      When those memories start plaguing you ..accept the memory, but don't give it too much of your attention. Let it float on by....imagine your putting that memory in the washing machine.. wash it away!

      Blessings to you and may God sit on shoulder as your life continues to blossom ♥♥

    • donna198021
      donna198021 lorraine52317

      Posted

      Thank you your a very kind person Lorraine. Really appreciate your advice. 😊 I will try and forget them and stop punishing myself so much.
  • yvonne15472
    yvonne15472 donna198021

    Posted

    I personally wouldn't recommend counselling, but hey that's just my experience of it. The fact is that these trained people you talk to do not usually participate in a two way conversation with you, which I found very frustrating. One man's meat is another man's poisin though and you may find it helps to unburden yourself on one of these people. I know part of their training is to be detached from their client and because of this I feel it's not alot of use to some people, as usually to understand an experience you have to live through it yourself. I accept that these people have had their own experiences, but the vibes I have felt when trying to go down this path is ending up more frustrated than I was already before the counselling! I hope you do get something back out of it, but I've always felt since trying counselling that it would be more useful for doctors to refer people to an hypnotist see if they could be hypnotised into forgetting the abuse. I believe this would be a very useful programme for the NHS to have in place rather than the counselling offered to victims of abuse presently on offer. I for one would gladly try this if I ever got the chance! I'd deal with the ocd first if I were you, and then ask for hypnotism next. All the best
  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 donna198021

    Posted

    It is called floodinig. And a good therapist can help you.
    • donna198021
      donna198021 lisalisa67

      Posted

      Hi Lisa what is flooding? Iv never heard of it. Iv had cognitive behaviour therapy twice but could only go so far with it because of my past issues which kept popping up.
  • kezza38
    kezza38 donna198021

    Posted

    Hi Donna your story seems to be pretty much the same story as mine, My ocd went pretty much out of control after not getting any help, I was convinced i was contaminated and was petrified of sitting on my own toilet in case I contaminated my children so for over three years i never sat on a toilet seat, so i really promt you 2 get help with your ocd first, dont get me wrong i am by any means a proffesional but do know a little from my own experiances, when i think back my ocd started at a young age.I have had various therapys and although they are hard, some do work. I hope this helps
    • donna198021
      donna198021 kezza38

      Posted

      Hi kezza my ocd is just mild but my thoughts are related to my childhood. Iv started counselling for my past issues now and iv had cbt 3 times before but could only go so far with it because of my past issues. Iv got over a lot of my ocd with cbt but some of the thoughts i have relate to my childhood. Which i think will ease in time through counselling. The thing that bothers me the most with ocd is feeling the need to confess every thing to my boyfriend all the time, and ask for reassurance. I always feel like iv done something wrong. Even talking to someone il pick at the conversation afterwards to see whether anything offensive was said, truly gets on my nerves! I also feel guilty about everything.
    • yvonne15472
      yvonne15472 donna198021

      Posted

      I know exactly where you:re coming from Donna, there are loads of us out here who have not been allowed a loving childhood. I think the authorities need to be more intense and hopefully school staff become more educated in spottting enviromental abuse. They need to be more vigilant in realizing when a child or teenager becomes withdrawn and/or presents bruising or injury to their body. I know the emphasis nowadays seems to be on the abuse that teachers are suffering in the classrooms because of unruly pupils. Perhaps not enough on what is sometimes causing the bully to be a bully or why a person allows themselves to be bullied is being investigated. There are often underlying causes posssibly due to abuse in the home A counsellor employed on a full time basis who works within each school would be a good idea. If the government cannot afford this emotional support for pupils could it be suggested to the pupils parents that those who can afford it contribute together to provide this service if they really care about the emotional stability of their offspring? I for one would have really appreciated some some form of intervention on what I was being subjected to. I feel certain today's generation would make good use of such a scheme at school, the abuse needs to be nipped in the bud before the damage is done,and you're stuck with it for life!
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