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Oopps I have done it again............

Posted , 4 users are following.

bardo
bardo

Oh bugger

Well I have been so good all weekend with my other half, full of good intentions and not to drink- 3 hours journey justifying to myself how I can control alcohol – Then I passed Tescos….. Bought 70cl of whiskey told myself I would just have one before bed to ‘help me sleep’ – half bottle has gone and its 12.10pm. Yep a have a big problem – I know I feel horrible now and will feel worse tomorrow as my heart will be going crazy and I will feel dizzy, paranoid about dying and guilty as hell. Can anyone tell me how to stop this? Feel so stupid and I know I will continue to drink until oblivion then have a really horrid week due to guilt and panic attacks – Why – Why Why!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

2 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • patricia44773
    patricia44773 bardo

    Posted

    You have my utmost sympathy.  I am sorry I am unable to answer any of your questions or help you in any way - mainly because I usually feel the same way as you do with the guilt, the paranoia about dying, etc.etc.  But I wanted to tell you that I understand and hope with all my heart that you find what you are looking for.  

    Pat xxxxxxx

    • bardo
      bardo patricia44773

      Posted

      Well I am still standing up ... well sitting. I hate this feeling and I have not enjoyed one second of drinking and now want to drink to oblivion so I can wake up with a fresh start (I know I wont throw the dram down the drain....its beyond that now - I have cut myself to ribbons as I hate what I do - I am a clever girl in most aspects but this is a killer - my Mum who I loved with all my heart was a drinker - I hated it - now I a doing the same - I REALLY dont enjoy a second of alcohol ....so WHY???? Is it self destuction - I have been suicidal since i was 14 and hospitalised n the past and since my Mum died I am crazy - please someone tell me the answer!! xxxxxxxxxx
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 bardo

      Posted

      Bardo, this is serious depression......you must get to see a doctor at the first possible opportunity.  This is more than a drink problem and I think you know that yourself.  Please seek help as soon as you can.

      Pat

  • pmcg21
    pmcg21 bardo

    Posted

    hi Bardo, i used to drink like that- i think you really need to seek professional help-the drinking may well be a symptom of a deeper problem- i drank alcoholicly for years and often asked myself why-i only really came to understand the emotions and feelings i was burying when i attended a counsellor- this was after being in three treatment centres and attending AA-being medically detoxed and giving up all hope of ever getting sober- or even wanting to- i wont pretend it was easy- i had to be honest - for the first time in my life-really honest with myself and with my counsellor-it was tough at times to talk about how i was feeling- i had never done this before- but now several years later i am very glad i did and very grateful to the DR who recomended the counsellor to me- i was really sceptical about it and was very slow to open up to her- she was great-really patient and let me disclose what was going on for me at my own pace- i would really strongly recomend it-alternatively you could try AA- it works for alot of people- whatever way you chose to do it- you need support-very few make it on their own-please reach out for help-there is another better life waiting- its not all sweetness and light but it is far better than what i had before- give it a try what do you have to lose ? you can beat this if you really want to - i did=i am a chronic alcoholic- but dont have a need or desire to drink right now-it can be done-reach out and ask for help Bardo-nothing wort having comes easy- give it a try- you will suprise yourself how strong you can be and how good you will feel about yourself - best of luck -
  • ten4
    ten4 bardo

    Posted

    i USED TO DO THE SAME THING MATE, THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, AFTER I HAD EMPTIED THE BOTTLE, I PUT THE CORK BACK IN AND NEVER HAD A WHISKY SINCE. DON'T KNOW WHY, IT JUST SEEMED TO BE THE RIGHT THING TO DO AT THE TIMEsorry the bl00dy caps lock keeps stickintg.........anyway, the other thing i did was NOT to feel guilty about boozing.......I said to myself."I will have a drink when I want one, not every 5 mins". and that seemed to work for me too. good luck m8, yours, howard, uk midlands.
  • escargot420
    escargot420 bardo

    Posted

    Hi Bardo,

    Oh sh*t, how many times did I go trough this, detox, stay a few day's, weeks and even months in sobriëty, and after this thinking "I did It", I can control myself.

    Then it starts.....

    I get bored -----------> Lets have a vacation (I always saw my benders as vacation alike)

    I had a bad day ---------> Lets have a drink, to forget about it.

    And so on, so on !

    Even If I had a perfect day, everything went ok, I still tought, I could have a drink to make this exelent day, I can have a glass right now, to make it even better.

    Manny times I went trough this.

    Let me tell you this, even when I could keep it by one glass this first day, the next day, my brain started lying to me.

    What was it saying ? well the following "Yesterday I could stick on one glass, and stick on this, today you can do the same.

    This tought stays with me for a few day's.

    Then my brain start lying again "I might aswell take two glases" it says.

    That's called alcoholism.

    There are very few alcoholics who can keep it by one glass for the rest of their lives.

    If you look in my profile, you can read about my drinking habbit and how I'm trying to become a moderate drinker.

    At this time I'm trying Celingro (look it up on this forum with the search option)

    For me it has proofed to be succesfull.

    In all cases, talk to your GP and ask her to help you.

    One last thing, do not ever feel guilty, Alcoholism is a cunning illnes c/q allergy.

    We all know how you feel, we all went to the same.

    Post as much as you can, seek help, everyone his own program, and find a way to get out of this.

    Good luck,

    Escar

     

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