Personality disorders

The reason I ask is for an idea on what defines a personality disorder more than anything. I was diagnosed with a PDNOS (Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) once upon a time - which was always amusing to me because it's basically a way of just saying "you have a personality disorder but we don't know what else to call it"

So I started looking up information on personality disorders. Obviously when somebody says "you have a disorder with your personality", the temptation is to flee in panic and ask if there was a cure, but then I asked myself if there was such a thing as a "cure" for your personality. Then I thought, "that doesn't make sense" because effectively you're defining a way a person behaves by dismissing their personality as a having a disorder. It creates the age old Goth argument of 'who's normal anyway?' Is there really an order or structure to everybody's existence that we all need and absolutely must abide by lest we not conform and be told we have a personality disorder?

I have a personality disorder in comparison to what? To whom?

I've just never understood how somebody can say that another person has a disordered personality just because they think a different way to the rest of society.

The not specified bit makes me think its a catch all. They know you fit into the type, but perhaps a lot of your symptoms don't specifically fit into one specific area, but at tge same time they don't want to misdiagnose, coz obviously, that's very bad.

I understand that, yeah. I'm just unsure what order my disordered personality is being compared to for that diagnosis. The danger in having any sort of personality disorder is that psychiatrists are very reluctant to treat you but can treat co-morbid symptoms.

Have you asked them?

Being the sort of person I am, yes I did. The first response I got was from a psychiatrist who didn't really understand my question so I said to him, I think if somebody were to say to me "you have a disordered personality", I could consider that as them saying "you're not with us" - but then who is 'us'?

So he said 'people who have clear cognitive thoughts', so I asked 'cognitive thoughts of what?' - and he gave me examples such as how I perceived myself, how I perceived other people, how I perceived the world, my expectations of others and so on. And I think I completely baffled him when I said (typically like me, metaphorical) "I'm a lion in a world of tigers - paint stripes on me but I'll still be a lion; but even as a lion in a world of tigers I still have a purpose that is just as valid"

In other words, my personality is disordered to everybody else but myself. As I said, I feel like an alien who's been shot down from another planet and is being left to watch people, see how they behave and then try and act like them, failing at every turn because I'm just not like them.

"Sorry", you know? I'm just who I am. Doesn't necessarily mean my personality is disordered, as if there is some order to be compared to - as if nature has an order or structure. It's like, personally I think people who diagnose others with a personality disorder (of whatever kind) do so because it's easier to give something that can't be explained a clear-cut definition than it is to just allow it to be left unexplained.

Lol u sound exactly like me, right down to using metaphors or phrases no one understands.

its be interesting to know, actually, what they consider "normal", because, really, what is normal?

its like the greatest question ever, up there with the meaning of life.

As I say, when you give something a name, it's easier to define it or give meaning to it. It's a lot scarier for people to be 'different' or 'misunderstood'; sometimes it can be for those who are aware of how different they are too.

This reminds me of how certain scientists label something like 90% of our DNA 'Junk' DNA because THEY don't understand it! So obvioisly their logic is that if they (in all their infinite 'wisdom') don't know what it is then it MUST be insignificant/junk! Ignorance/arrogance personified!

Thank you. I've been going on it for the last 15 years and probably closer now to understanding myself a lot better without the help of the services.

I find accepting yourself and not giving beeps helps.

im just me and illness shouldn't define you.

The thing is, when it comes to personality disorders - I've often discussed the concept of them with doctors, therapists and so on, and it's almost as though they agree with me unanimously in the sense that you could apply it to any member of society, and diagnosing an individual with it is actually a form of dismissal of that individual rather than recognising that what they have is just a part of their individuality.

It's almost like, "you don't conform to the rules expected of society therefore you have a personality disorder" - sorry but... eh?