Please help, Severe Dissociation due to Borderline P.D
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hello,
Since I can remember i have experience severe symptoms of anxiety;mainly the feeling that i was always "inside my head". For the last two years i have abused drugs (Cannabis & Hash), and I don't "abuse" is enough to describe my usage, I decided to quit drugs,because I knew they were a tool to escape reality. My life feels like it either have neutral events or events that make me sad/angry, later I regocnized that as depression that's accompanied by a "cyclic" anhedonia. After a while I recognized that I lack a stable sense of identity, I feel detashed from my reflection in the mirror. Googling around made me think there's a high chance that I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, and that all the above were just symptoms, though I know that medical diagnosis is the only sure way to tell.
I live in a third world country, where therapy is not an option. Luckily I can help myself through CBT,DBT, and selfhelp books. I know that they can't replace therapy sessions but they're the best I can do. But I need Help.
I think I can manage most of those symptoms on my own, but there's a symptom I can't recognize, and it's the reason i started this thread. You see, lately i feel "weirded out" by the world, I know it's real, and it doesn't feel like a dream, so I doubt that it's "derealization", it's like constantly asking "why is the world the way it is ?" "what am I ?" "WHY AM I ?".
Is it just a case of nihlism, existential crisis, schizophrenia or does it have something to do with my BPD ?
Thank you.
2 likes, 2 replies
borderriever john38050
Posted
I understand you are in a third world Country or State, you do need to talk to a Doctor and explain your problems, you will most probably need medications, and also stop taking weed, as coming of the stuff can effect your mood and health.
You could read, Related Information Relaxation Techniques, (Mindfulness), you will get this on Amazon, It also discusses disociation. If you look under Groups in Mental Health that will give you some ideas regard Weed etc
I hope that will help you
BOB
ladysuisei john38050
Posted
I am 52 years old and was given a Bpd diagnosis) I also have co existing Ocd, severe anxiety, depression and emetophobia). The symptoms you described are feelings I suffer from on a regular basis. It took almost 20 years in the psychiatric system to get the diagnosis, as it is made by assessing long-term patterns of certain behaviour etc for the diagnosis to be made. I struggle to survive day to day, suffer extreme mood swings and anger, I regularly self harm and have made a few serious suicide attempts. I constantly feel empty and struggle to form any personal relationships my impulse control is nil and I have got a criminal record as a result of reckless actions. I have built up huge amounts of debt, as I am reckless with money and don't care about the consequences. This condition really needs professional intervention, as without it things would be catastrophic. In fact, Bpd has destroyed my life, so it's a terrible diagnosis to get. If I were you, I would seek the opinion of a psychiatrist to evaluate your symptoms. I don't mean to frighten you, but strongly advise any intervention you can access. Please take care and I wish you well.