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Psychiatrist won't diagnose me. Borderline personality disorder

Posted , 2 users are following.

Luna.Lovegood
Luna.Lovegood

My emotions are put of control most of the time. My anxiety stops me from thinking rationally in every situation. My feelings are exaggerated although I can't understand that at the time. When I'm happy, it's for no reason but it goes away quickly when I start to think.

I hate myself, the way i look, the way I think and feel. Everyone looks down on me and I always think they're better than me.

In all my relationships I've compulsively lied, cheated and hurt my partners and if they left me, I'd either hurt myself or jump into a new relationship so I wasn't on my own.

I used to cut myself but I hate the way my scars look. I took overdoses everyday and still do... Hoping I won't wake up. I took speed and smoked wees recreationly but loved the euphoric feel that speed gave me I got hooked and had to wean myself off it slowly. I have ended up in hospital overdosing many times and was just sent home.

I get scared of my own feelings as I get so angry and paranoid over tiny insignificant things but I just can't stop myself. I flitted from job to job because I had a paranoia that my colleagues hated me and called me behind my back. It caused me to be very unstable, I'd start crying in work, walk out or call in sick if I was to scared to go in.

I'm on Fluoxetine but have been on 4 other antidepressants in 4 years. It doesn't really help... I just take it so I can continue seeing my doctor or otherwise is end up refusing to get help.

Why won't they help me. The psychiatrist sent a letter to my doctors saying I was okay and my medication is working.

1 like, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • pixie22
    pixie22 Luna.Lovegood

    Posted

    Perhaps you should take the opportunity while the fluoxetine is taking the edge off your symptoms to try some other therapy such as CBT or counselling? It does sound like you need someone to talk to about what you are feeling and how you can deal with it.
  • mary82457
    mary82457 Luna.Lovegood

    Posted

    I've recently been doIng a lot of study of personalIty dIsorders.

    BorderlIne personalIty dIsorder Is often underdIagnosed, mIsunderstood, mIsdIagnosed as BIpolar or ADHD, or mIssed entIrely. SSRIs are not very effectIve for borderlIne depressIon, although they may help wIth ImpulsIveness and self-harm.

    Your doctor may be tryIng to protect you by not gIvIng you the BPD label; It's consIdered very negatIve by many and there can be some stIgma attached; UnenlIghtened therapIsts often feel that BPDs are "manIpulatIve", "attentIon-seekIng", and dIffIcult to treat, but these are mIsconceptIons. A good therapIst who Is famIlIar wIth BPD patIents would never stIgmatIze them.

    Many therapIsts truly lIke BPD patIents. Try to fInd one of these.

    I suggest you research the dIsorder on reputable, professIonal  sItes dedIcated to BPD. There are many successful treatments, a hIgh cure rate, and a low rate of remIssIon when successfully treated. It actual has a very good prognosIs.  DIalectIc (I thInk It's called that) therapy Is the current recommendatIon, wIth mInImal meds only for certaIn serIous symptoms.

    I fInd lectures posted In vIdeo form by the compassIonate professIonals of NEA BPD to be very helpful. Knowledge Is power, especIally when It comes to BPD. If you understand your emotIonal InstabIlIty and your behavIor, there Is a good chance you can control It.

    And love yourself!

    I love BPDs; they're creatIve, dramatIc, Intense, and empathIc.

    • mary82457
      mary82457

      Posted

      Luna:

      ps. I know exactly what you're goIng through, and you're not alone. Be kInd and gentle wIth others, but be VERY gentle wIth yourself.

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