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Re-introducing sex post op!!

Posted , 11 users are following.

JoolsB
JoolsB

Hi. I am six weeks post op for a vaginal vault repair and posterior fascial repair. All has gone really well and apart from still getting tired very easily, I seem absolutely fine. My query now is when is it ok to attempt having intercourse? I have had no infection although I still have a slight discharge. Bleeding stopped after first few days. But my surgeon hasn't booked me in for a post -op check up until mid October which is nearly 17 weeks after operation!! Do I need to wait until I see him - how will I know if I am healed enough internally? Help please ladies. 

0 likes, 32 replies

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  • mommylove
    mommylove JoolsB

    Posted

    From what I have heard you can at 6 weeks but just be careful and go slow because stitches could still be in tact and scratch your man up or it might be uncomfortable at first for you. Definitely may want to try lubricant. 8 weeks is a safer be though.
    • JoolsB
      JoolsB mommylove

      Posted

      That's what I thought, thanks. I'm not some sex mad beast - just really wanted reassurance from other people. Have told my husband that Doctor recommends waiting about 2 years!!! Lol. 
    • Unicorn53
      Unicorn53 JoolsB

      Posted

      I am 8 and a half months post op for rectocele repair and sex is still soooooooo painful,got appointment finally 21st of this month as think I have bladder prolapse now but need to know what is going on down there  
    • Raesue
      Raesue Unicorn53

      Posted

      Please let us know what your doctor recommends. I'm 8 months and sex is still very painful.  I ordered a set of vaginal dilators and it's a painful process, too.  I'm thinking part of the surgery - how they do it - results in weakness to the anterior area of the vagina, causeing bladder problems.  That is my experience.  I got a pill to help with leaking/urgency but it caused such bad constipation that I had to quit.  Now I'm trying to Kegel my way to stronger control.  Not there yet. :-(
    • Over_it
      Over_it Raesue

      Posted

      Sorry, I didn't realize you had posted on here already. I see you are 8 months post-op, so your stitches should be gone by now for sure. So sorry you are having such problems. 

      I have heard if there's a weakness in one side, there's probably a weakness in the other side too. My anterior and posterior were 30 years apart though. 

      The Squatty potty (a special foot stool type thing) does help with bowel elimination. I bought one on  website "A" ...many good reviews. It helped me for bladder and bowel after surgery so there was no straining either way. 

      Before my anterior repair, I had urgency to relieve my bladder often and would never completely empty. Much better since surgery. I thankfully did not leak before or after surgery.

      I have been told by others on this sight to do pelvic floor exercises, but haven't started yet...will ask doctor when I can start them at my appointment this week.

      Hope you find relief soon.

      Thoughts and prayers are with you.

       

  • gillian93395
    gillian93395 JoolsB

    Posted

    I read you should wait 6 weeks then plenty of lube. I had anterior and posterior repair 4 weeks ago. My bladder control is much better and no more cystitis, but although I don't have bulge I still have that dragging feeling that something is coming down. Did you have this JoolsB? I'm thinking of going to doctor this week, as this feeling is unbearable . I'm piling on weight as I can't walk with it.
    • JoolsB
      JoolsB gillian93395

      Posted

      No, I don't have a dragging feeling, but if I walk/stand too much then I have have had shooting pains through vagina/pubic bone. Hmm not sure if I am ready for sex yet - bit scary! 
    • gillian93395
      gillian93395 JoolsB

      Posted

      I'd hang on a bit then. There's lots of other things you can do without having penetrative sex.
    • jennifer3391
      jennifer3391 gillian93395

      Posted

      I am now one year 4 mos post op anterior/posterior repair. I remember a dragging heAvy feeling down there for some time even after my 6 weeks that I think I was told. One I think I was paranoid thinking things would come undone. Second I think there was still enough swelling fro healing to make that sensation.  I finally ventured I to the world of sex agai. With my hubby. First things didn't fit and I was a bit dry. But with patience from my husband any myself I am back and even better in my opinion. We joked, it was like being a virgin again.
  • Over_it
    Over_it JoolsB

    Posted

    I am 5 weeks post-op from a vaginal cystocele (anterior) repair. My doctor has told me several times, no sex for first 2 months. I will see him again Thursday and expect to hear it again...I think he's pretty serious about giving the vagina time to heal properly. I also have shooting pain in my vagina and lower left pubic area when standing too long. The shooting pains also happened 3 hours into a 4 hour car road trip. 
    • Raesue
      Raesue Over_it

      Posted

      Trisha, did you have repair with mesh?  I have sharp shooting pains at the top of my vagina, and into my pelvic area when we try to have sex.  The surgeon said it's from where the mesh is connected, maybe scar tissue.  I don't know why scar tissue would hurt so.  I only feel that pain on intercourse, which of course means I don't want to have sex...
    • Over_it
      Over_it Raesue

      Posted

      Raesue, no I did not have repair with mesh. They used my own muscle/tissue. I had a RECTOCELE (posterior) repair about 30 years ago, no mesh, but I remember intercourse was very painful for awhile and it was very tight. In time the pain during intercourse went away and the tightness was better (was probably because I was tense due to pain) and eventually everything was great again. It's been too long ago to remember how long I had to wait, but I know I didn't have intercourse before the doctor said I could. 

      I would definitely use plenty of lubrication on both you and your spouse, use the most comfortable position for you and try to relax. How many weeks post-op are you?  Does your spouse have pain also? Could some of your pain be from undissolved stitches?

      I am 5 1/2 weeks post-op and a lot is going to have to improve in the next 2 1/2 weeks for me to think intercourse will be comfortable to try then. My stitches are self dissolving and they are still there, I can see some of them. 

      The doctor said the pain I am having now in the lower left side could be from pulling the muscle/tissue so tight during this surgery and also pulling on the scar tissue from a long ago hernia repair in the left groin area. 

  • maureen31239
    maureen31239 JoolsB

    Posted

    Hi

    I had my rectocele repair at the end of may and follow up appt at 6-7 weeks at the end of July.

    My consultant told me everything was good to go but very slowly and gently as 'things' are now a different shape.

    The first time we tried was excruciating! I had a burning around the entrance but inside felt fine. Then someone on here recommended coconut oil. So after a good slathering and smelling like I was on holiday we tried again. Penetration was brief but successful but I still had the burning although not as bad as the first time.

    I got an appt with GP to check that email everything was ok and there weren't any stitches left. All was fine!

    Third attempt - whoop whoop!

    I do think my nervousness hasn't helped the situation but I am fully confident things will get better.

    Good luck and take your time x

    • Over_it
      Over_it maureen31239

      Posted

      I had also heard about the coconut oil and thought I would use that when I am able to have intercourse again.

      Are you using the regular solid coconut oil that melts to the touch or the liquid fractionated coconut oil? 

    • maureen31239
      maureen31239 Over_it

      Posted

      Hi Trish

      Yes the solid coconut oil . I got mine from holland & Barratt and it comes in a jar.

      Doesn't dry out or go sticky like lube.

    • Over_it
      Over_it maureen31239

      Posted

      Hi Maureen!

      Well, at 7 weeks post op from anterior repair we tried the coconut oil as you recommended, worked fantastic on the first try! We will never go back to the named lubricant we used to use. I had no pain at all...whoop whoop!

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