1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

really depresseed

Posted , 10 users are following.

reemus63571
reemus63571

iam really depressed that my head is all over the place and my brain can't stop thinking,I've just lost my job for gross misconduct for a stupid mistake,the beginning of the year I lost my partner,left with four children to look after,my work took my mind a little from thinking about it,then a few months down watched my mum battle cancer,got suspended while work investigated,lost mum and now my job,so many mitigating circumstances to why ilost my job,it was out of character but employer just ignored it,don't even want to open my eyes in the morning,can't rememberr the last time I smiled,life dont mean much to me,keep bursting into tears so many times out of the blue,cant remember the last time i had a good night sleep without my brain working none stop or if it not thinking I'm having these nightmares,Ive had enough

3 likes, 40 replies

40 Replies

Next
  • jenny99721
    jenny99721 reemus63571

    Posted

    I am sorry that there have been so many losses in your life over the last few months. I am not surprised that you are feeling so very depressed. There is such a lot of issues here. The loss of your partner, the loss of your mother and the loss of your job. Also you have the responsibility of looking after 4 children. This is huge stuff so good that you are reaching out for support here. There are fab people on this site who I am sure will support you through.

    With so many external things going on for you and a supervisior who didnot support you - it is liitle wonder thatproblems arose in work- they always do in some form eventually. You mention 'mitigating circumstances ' and what hasbeengoing on within the family cannot have helped. Under extreme circumstances we all do things that we wish we had not done. Please try not to pucish yourself further with guilt and remorse as you need the energy to move on and to be able to maintain the family.

    There are services that can help with work issues, and with family support. The main thing at the moment is that your depression andyour insomnia are dealt with so that you can feel a bit better and maybe get some support to talk through these losses. We can all only manage so much and you have had such a lot to worry about and manage. Make sure that you are seeing GP etc and carry on letting us know how u are and whether u need any info aboutanything. Be thinking of you jen 

    • reemus63571
      reemus63571 jenny99721

      Posted

      jen,just want to thank you for your reply,just reading it has made me break out tears,I guess its because I didn't expect anyone to reply which shows me what your heart is like,another thing I never talk to anyone about any of my problems,just an act me smiling from the outside to everyone else and my inside is hurting so much,once again thanks and bless you.x
  • jackie82937
    jackie82937 reemus63571

    Posted

    Depending on how long you have worked for your employer you could claim unfair dismal afterall it sounds like you are unwell.  Contact an employment lawyer for advice depending where you are you can get a certain amount of free advice.

    My husband's emlpoyers knew he was ill even said he had depression they got rid of him with a cr*p pay off nothing I can do to help him as he has left us all and now on a path of self destruct.

    • reemus63571
      reemus63571 jackie82937

      Posted

      jackie,just want to thank you for your reply,just reading it has made me break out tears,I guess its because I didn't expect anyone to reply which shows me what your heart is like,another thing I never talk to anyone about any of my problems,just an act me smiling from the outside to everyone else and my inside is hurting so much,once again thanks and bless you.x,
    • hypercat
      hypercat jackie82937

      Posted

      Hi you can't claim unfair dismissal for gross misconduct.   It is the one thing which employers can dismiss someone for instantly. 

      Also they don't sack people for the illness itself but because they fail to live up to their work contract with them.   I know it's semantics.  In the UK you have to have been in your job for at least 2 years before you have recourse to unfair dismissal unless you are dismissed because of pregnancy,  on the grounds of race and a few more,  but not illness. 

      The employer though does under Health and Safety must do what it can to accomodate a sick worker ie giving them extra breaks,  taking some of the work off them eg.  If they don't give some 'reasonable adjustments' providing they know of the illness there can be a case for unfair or constructive dismissal.   Reasonable adjustments are always subject to business needs though and can depend on the size of the workforce.  x

    • jackie82937
      jackie82937 hypercat

      Posted

      hypercat point taken, however we are not talking about normal circumstances we are talking about an illness where sometimes people are unable to speak out and help themselves.  I would agree that employers can make reasonable adjustments but in order to do that an employee would have to be honest with their employer admit they were unwell and seek help, not everyone with depression can do this.  My depressed husband was got rid of, his boss confirmed he had depression but cited him as an adult with capacity she said he was too expensive to let go he is now having psychotic episodes but the alcohol and relationship with the alcoholic are not helping his situation.  Whilst someone is ill with D anythinxssible and I would certainly challenge both the law and any decisions made during that time.
    • hypercat
      hypercat jackie82937

      Posted

      Very true jackie and I wasn't implying anything by my reply.  I have been in the same situation and I found it very difficult to talk to my employers.  Fortunately I had a lot of help from my union rep otherwise I could never have managed to fight them on my own.  

      Maybe under these circumstances he could claim for unfair dismissal?  I don't know.  Why not have a word with ACAS as they are the experts in employment law?  Or seek a free half hour with an employment rights solicitor?  I presume you are in the UK?  x

  • robert80755
    robert80755 reemus63571

    Posted

    Hello Reemus, it surly sounds like you are going through cituational Depression and Anxiety! I am not a doctor, but that is who you need to talk to!!!! I am so sorry for the loss of your mom!!! You could have PTSD which all can be helped but you must seek it now.

    Please talk with a doctor, psychiatrist preferably!!!

    God Bless you!!!! This is something that will not last forever. You are just going through a hard time right now!!!! It will get better!!!

    • reemus63571
      reemus63571 robert80755

      Posted

      robert,just want to thank you too mate for your reply,just reading it has made me break out in tears,I guess its because I didn't expect anyone to reply which shows me what your heart is like,another thing I never talk to anyone about any of my problems,just an act me smiling from the outside to everyone else and my inside is hurting so much,once again thanks and bless you too
  • fee25
    fee25 reemus63571

    Posted

    Reemus I am so sorry to hear of your situation sad stressful and traumatic issues in life can cause us to act out of character so try not to beat yourself up about what happened. Everybody who has replied to you has offered brilliant words of support and advice! 

    Take some time to look after yourself, concentrate on the healing process - you have been through an awful lot in a short time. Some grievance counselling may be useful to you as well as utilising or building your support network; doctors, friends, family. Make time for you and be kind to yourself during this tough time. 

    There are so many lovely and simply wonderful people on this site who will support you, whenever you need it x

    Good Luck reemus, you will get through this!! xx smile 

    • reemus63571
      reemus63571 fee25

      Posted

      fee,thank you for these kind words,so nice to know that kind hearted people like yourself and all the others who went out of their way and took time out to reach out to me with kind comments,it really made me emotional ready all the comments,once again thanks.x
  • respecthealth
    respecthealth reemus63571

    Posted

    I really feel for you and am sorry, but things will work out no matter how slow it feels. You will not be the last for this to happen to. Always remember you are the hero of your mum and children - they would want you to be activating the warrior (not worrier) part of the brain, where you give life all you have got, to be and do the best you can. Strong, wise, goal oriented, handsome are all the types of words they would be using to describe you so you must just try and try to live up to that - never giving up! Best wishes going forward and up in life...
  • richard72420
    richard72420 reemus63571

    Posted

    I also been in trouble at work making mistakes and not reslising so you not alone although it does seem like it feels like we the only ones on this planet sometimes .

    • richard72420
      richard72420 AbbyJ

      Posted

      Just wish could wave magic wand and every one of us be ok but I guess life not like that , hope you get better soon Abby .
    • reemus63571
      reemus63571 richard72420

      Posted

      richard,all of us on here who have given time out to comment are really doing so much good with positive comments and making the person feel that they're not going through this alone.cheers mate
Back to top
Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.