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Relationship issues / fears of infertility with PCOS

Posted , 3 users are following.

katie364606
katie364606

I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 18 (now 34). I've been on the pill since then so wasn't sure how my periods would be naturally. I've been with my boyf for 2 years now, we both want kids but not quite yet. We agreed I would come off the pill which I did in Jan, so 3 months ago. Since I have had 3 periods (33 days apart). As I know of the unpredictableness off PCOS I'm assuming it'll take a while to get pregant, and also I want to get my body in natural flow now, so that if I have any problems it won't be too late. I'm aware time is ticking as far as my body clock goes. The thing is, since I came off the pill my boyfriend is scared to have sex. I'm sure that I won't get pregnant for a while and I'm using ovulation kits and so far none have come up positive. I've told my boyfriend this but he is still a little worried we'll get pregnant now. If I were to get pregnant then we would both be happy about it, but ideally we would like it to be another 6 months at least before it happens, if it happens. 

I'm worried that if I go back on the pill now then if I do have problems down the line then I'll resent him for it, and also my time is running out. We're not having sex as often as he now is just thinking about pregnancy which is really annoying me and I'm starting to feel horrible about myself. My weight is at the top of my BMI and I have always had issues with it so I'm starting to feel a bit depressed about it all. I just have this feeling I can't have kids and if I can't I'm sure he'll leave me. 

Any advice would be most helpful!

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • jodini
    jodini katie364606

    Posted

    Hi Katie. I was diagnosed with PCOS in my 20's, I'm now 44. I was one of the unlucky ones as I was unable to have children. I completely understand your predicament. Unfortunately, having PCOS takes away the choice of planning a pregnancy. It's more difficult to conceive and unfortunately, very sadly, sometimes doesn't happen. In your case, your boyfriend shouldn't be afraid to have sex incase you fall pregnant. You will be blessed if you do and if it happens earlier than expected, who cares, it's actually happened for you.

    As for saying you think your boyfriend will leave you if you can't have children, has he actually said this? If he truly loves you, then he'll stay with you no matter what. If he decides to leave you because you can't have children, then I'd let him walk.

    My husband has stood by my side through everything and when we finally realised we weren't going to be able to have a child, it just made us stronger and we built our Plan B life which is wonderful. It took me many, many years to accept the fact, many years feeling guilty that my husband wouldn't be a dad and many years of feeling less of a woman because I couldn't have a baby.

    I pray things work out for you. What you need right now is support, understanding and somebody who stands by you no matter what.

    Good luck xx

    • ZoeyRudy
      ZoeyRudy jodini

      Posted

      This made me cry and be happy my own husband is the same. We are so blessed to have such rare and precious men in our lives.
  • ZoeyRudy
    ZoeyRudy katie364606

    Posted

    It really depends on the severity of your condtion. Me personally knowing this is 100 percent hereditary and knowing everyone is different and effected in different ways. I decided to never have a child it doesn't help that all my eggs are encased in cysts. I have an underlying condition tho. Go to the Dr have them run a full blood panel testing all your hormones vitamin levels and organ function. Find out if you are a riam factor for all the pregnancy complications that Pcos is for. Find out ways to overcome them and I am sure you will have a kid. if not you can always adopt. And I am sorry but any man that leaves you due to that wasn't worth having anyways. We are worth so much more to this world than our ability to reproduce. That being said (praying hard for you) smile
    • jodini
      jodini ZoeyRudy

      Posted

      Hi Zoey. We certainly are blessed to have our husbands. My husband and I have been through so much. He is my rock and it makes me so sad to think that any man would walk away from their partner because they are unable to give them a child. They are not worth being with x
    • katie364606
      katie364606 jodini

      Posted

      Hello ladies

      Just thought I should let you know that I am pregnant! Did a test yesterday which said I'm about 3 weeks, so very early days. Boyfriend was quite shocked but happy, so all good so far. Thanks so much for all your prayers and good luck! xx

  • katie364606
    katie364606

    Posted

    Thanks so much ladies, I really appreciate the support. It also gives me hope that life is not all about having kids. I feel there is so much pressure to have a family, maybe more so when you have the difficulties like with pcos. My boyfriend is 5 years younger than me so there is not so much rush for him to think about kids right now, although he is aware that me being that age I am that there is always a bit of pressure to make decisions. He has never said he'd leave me if I couldn't have kids, but he has stressed that he definitely wants them and is just expecting for things to be that easy, I'm not sure he understands. My older sister doesn't have pcos but she did have 7 miscarriages in a row, although she has just had a baby boy and didn't have difficulties conceiving, so maybe that's at the back of my mind. I think I'm not going to go back on the pill and just see what happens. There's no point in messing around with my hormones again and if it happens it happens. I'm lucky that I have regular periods, no excess hair or acne and my weight is pretty normal, although this doesn't really mean anything with regards to being able to conceive. I had a hormone test last month and they said it was all normal. I'm not really sure what to do from here really, maybe go and see the Doctor again and try and get on Clomid as I've heard it's effective. I have been on Metformin for 10 years which has probably helped with my weight etc. 

    I think with regards to my boyfriend I'm going to just have faith that he's not going to leave. He's a decent guy with a big heart. I'll see how this year goes and if it happens it happens. If I do fall pregnant it will be a blessing anyway and we will deal with it when and if it happens. 

    Thank you xx

    • ZoeyRudy
      ZoeyRudy katie364606

      Posted

      Awesome outlook. Thank you for taking such an amaxing perspective (secretly I am praying you get pregnant asap and all goes perfect.) God bless
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