Retaking Citalopram, severe anxiety
Posted , 8 users are following.
Hi everyone, I have suffered anxiety for 8 years now and been on 20mg of citalopram for that time. Stupidly I decided (with the support of my doctor) to slowly start coming off them and after a slow decrease stopped taking them in May, 5 months ago. Since the end of September my anxiety has hit the roof again and 5 weeks ago I went back on 10mg which initially for a week had no side effects. Two weeks ago I was hit with severe anxiety attacks and the doctor increased the dose to 20mg. Now day 13 of the increase and I'm feeling dreadful. Early morning wake ups with feelings of fear and anxiousness, which improves slightly at times and then hits me again at any time. This last week when my husband has gone to work my mum or dad have come to sit with me as I just feel I can't move I'm so worked up. Nausea and retching in the mornings and no appetite whatsoever, I've lost a stone in 3 weeks. I fear that I will never get better, maybe the citalopram just won't work for me this time. I'm also on propranolol for the palpitations and diazepam 6mg 3 times a day if needed, but that just doesn't seem to take the edge off for me. Having CBT therapy also but find it so hard as the last thing I can do when I'm in the middle of an anxiety attack is think straight to do calming exercises!! When speaking to my doctor she said there should be an improvement within 10 days of the Citalopram increase, now on day 13 and feeling worse if anything. Feeling so low and scared that my anxiety will not subside at all 😞 Any advice/reassurance welcomed ?
Sara xx
1 like, 23 replies
john059 sara8798
Posted
sara8798 john059
Posted
Thank you for your reply John. I suppose I am lucky in that I have times where I feel good and the anxiety isn't there, but when it does come back in its waves you don't remember those times and lose all hope. Thank you for your advice, much appreciated.
john059 sara8798
Posted
vicky20903 sara8798
Posted
Hi Sarah will 2.5 give me side effects I was on 10 a year ago after my first tablet it made me feel funny will it this time I'm scared
sara8798 vicky20903
Posted
Hi Vicky, the 10mg didn't give me side effects thus time and when I first went on citalopram 8 years ago I had very little side effects. I'm not sure what I am experiencing after the increase are side effects or symptoms of the anxiety.
I suppose it depends on individual people as to how the medication will effect them x
vicky20903 sara8798
Posted
Yh that's true but if I chop it in quarters so I take 2.5wil that stop me getting side effects
lesley_78762 vicky20903
Posted
I don't understand 2.5 dosage. I thought 10 was the lowest. Do you mean you are cutting the pills up? I would have thought this was not a very sensible thing to do aNd 2.5 probably wouldn't have any effect. Try not to think about this too much you are just going to make yourself feel even more anxious.
vicky20903 lesley_78762
Posted
That's wit I am doing Hun I've been on so many tablets they all gave me side effects I just didn't like the way citalpram base me feel it was horrible lasted few hours I didn't take no more
borderriever sara8798
Posted
It is important you follow the assistance of your CPN, they can help you revise your coping skills.
You are taking a comprehensive script of medications, give the new dose of your AD to work, although if you are concerned talk to your GP and or CPN
BOB
sara8798 borderriever
Posted
Thanks borderriever. I have spoken to my GP a few times this week and they just say to continue with the meds and CBT. I suppose my worry is that information I've read seems to say the citalopram should take 2-3 weeks to work, and now I'm on week 5 with no improvement.
borderriever sara8798
Posted
Good Luck
BOB
katecogs sara8798
Posted
Hi Sara
I've been on these twice - if they worked before for you, they'll work again. Being back in 'that place' is hard, and all the good you felt when you were on them before feels like its all gone. It'll come back. At the moment all you can feel is the fear and panic and the feeling that'll it'll never go - but it will.
The medicine will work in its own time - remind yourself you're not well, this WILL work but it will take a little time.
You should practice relaxing all the time - not just when you have a panic attack. Learning to take life at a slower pace, stop rushing around, stop checking to see if 'its' gone, stop trying to run away from it ..... but instead try and let all the feelings just be there, let them wash over you, let go of all tenseness in all you do (not just slumping whilst sitting) but when moving around try and do it calmly / floating along, walk slower, driver slower. Anxiety thrives on tenseness, stress etc so learning to let go of the tense feeling will in time help the body become calmer - it really does work. It takes sometime for your body to adapt, so though you start to try and let go you'll continue to feel tense and anxious for a while, but in time you'll begin to feel calmer.
Whilst you wait take a daily walk - fresh air is good and being outside amongst nature helps the body. Exercise also released endorphins, our feel good hormones, which also help burn up excess anxiety.
You will get better - tell yourself that, even if you don't feel it. But you will. Also tell yourself you are not well at the moment and therefore you'll continue to feel awful for a little while yet, but your body needs time to readjust to the meds, exercise, relaxation etc etc ..... and in time you will start to feel well again.
Next time you want to stop meds consider taking 5-HTP and l-tyrosine when you're meds free ....... but that's another story for when you're better.
K xx
sara8798 katecogs
Posted
Thank you Kate, very useful advice. How long did it take for the citalopram to start working again when you began retaking? Every morning I plan that first thing when I wake I am going to go outside for a walk but when I wake I just lie there feeling unable to do so, I know I need to make myself but just find it so hard. I have bought some relaxation C.D's and try to do these once during the day when my anxiety is feeling a little less intense.
Sara x
katecogs sara8798
Posted
Hi Sara
Second time I was on these meds it did take longer, and I had a different experience on them - I didn't feel anxious and frightened like the first time, just completely flat. There was nothing inside me - no happiness, no interest, nothing. The first time I took these I recovered by 6 months and the second time was about 8 months. Don't forget we're all different and it can take weeks or a couple of months for some people, so don't worry about my time frame.
Like you I also worried they wouldn't work again, but deep down I knew they would because they had before. I told myself every day that I just had to wait and that my body was still healing.
Oh .... motivation is hard isn't it. Mornings are always the hardest too. When I was ill I just wanted to hide under the duvet. Maybe do that walk at a different time of the day instead, and just leave the morning for getting yourself together a little?
Relaxation CD's are good. As well as the CD's though, also start to incorporate relaxing / letting go into your every day as you move about. If you take note of yourself right now, you might find you're holding yourself tensely - maybe clenching your jaw, holding your tummy muscles etc etc - just letting them relax as you move about your every day tasks will help your body to start doing is naturally without having to think of it. Also when we're anxious / depressed we tend to rush about, get uptight and angry about things, tensing etc ..... again if you take note you might find you're walking quickly somewhere, hurrying to do housework, etc so slowing things right down takes the tenseness from your body, and if you find yourself getting uptight then try and stop, breathe and 'let go'. Learning to float along throughout your day really helps to start calm the body down and starts helping to heal anxiety. It doesn't happen overnight.
I used to walk after dinner at night or the afternoon. Anytime that suits you - maybe after you've got up, have breakfast, cup of tea and then try it? Motivation often doesn't just happen though - you have to start it and then motivation starts to follow.
K xx
sara8798 katecogs
Posted
It's such a battle isn't it, at night time I feel much better and near close to how I felt before this hit me again, then I wake up in the morning and it's back to that horrible anxious terrifying feeling and I feel I'm back at square one. Thank you so much for your advice, although I wouldn't wish this on anyone it's good to know there's others out there who have been through it and came out the other side.
Xx
katecogs sara8798
Posted
That's how I initially recovered - the evenings were easier, but every morning it would hit me each time. Thats completely normal, and it will get better. That good feeling I got each evening slowly started happening in the afternoons, despite the dreadful mornings, and then I started feeling better in the mornings and eventually began waking up feeling good too.
This seems to happen with a lot of other people too - and is quite a familiar pattern people follow.
Seems like its beginning to happen for you already ;-)
sara8798 katecogs
Posted
Xx
katecogs sara8798
Posted
Wow - that's exactly what happened to me!! Years before I was on these meds I was struggling with this illness, and then I started to recover on my own as my hubby and I planned our wedding in August 88 (this was before these meds). I had a really happy year leading up to it. The very next day after we married the anxiety hit me again ... just like you. Looking back it was the excitement that had kept it at bay.
This is how the meds work too - by hanging onto serotonin (our happy hormones) before being reabsorped into the brain), keeping us feeling happier.
I had been ill for 16 years and had therapy, counselling, hypnotherapy (not sure about CBT, don't think it was called that then), and had been on many antidepressants - but the only thing that worked was when I was changed to SSRI medication and I recovered within 6 months. I stayed well ever since.
sara8798 katecogs
Posted
That's good to hear you have stayed well since the SSRI's. I think this is my worst bout of anxiety which is why it worries me that it will not get better. Seeing the doctor again tomorrow so will discuss with him how I've been feeling and go from there.
Xx
katecogs sara8798
Posted
It always feels worse, especially if you haven't had it for a while - it just shocks you when it reappears again. I've had times when it was so bad I just didn't know what to do with myself ...... I never thought I'd ever get better, couldn't see how I'd stop frightening myself with stupid overthinking which caused more anxiety.
You will - you can't see it now, but you will get over this. With continued medication your body will slowly start to calm down. Your mind will always think on the negative side when you're like this, and once you start healing your mind will start thinking positively.
It is tough having to cope with it. You've just started back on the meds and are probably having initial effects at the moment which make things feel much worse. It'll ease in time. Remember your body is already starting to heal inside even though you can't see it yet. We're all here to help you through it and chat too.
Good luck at the doctors - let us know how you get on.
K xx
vicky20903 katecogs
Posted
Does anybody no if dry eyes settle on sertraline eye drops don't help