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Running on no hope no energy to fight

Posted , 6 users are following.

kelly45731
kelly45731

My entire life has felt like a struggle childhood was normal until my half brothers and sisters left, my dad then left. Was good at school until anxiety ruined in college. Uni was more stress anxiety losing weight feeling disgusting everyday. Finished uni the battle of finding a job stuck at home 27 living with mother who as a child was emotionally void. Found out my father sexually assaulted my older sister. Met someone I really had a connection with who I really didn't want to leave me then I had a bout of depression which broke us. Now he's met the perfect gurl for him.

It's the pain I can't bare anymore the dissapointment to be given something meaningful then have it taken away. I'm sick of fighting I have no energy I cared about him and would have done anything for it to have worked or just be normal but no once again taken away from me.

I feel stupid for wanting things to run smoothly to fall in love I feel as though someone is laughing at me taking pleasure in my pain and I can't move on I don't have the energy I feel empty

I want to have a proper dad and a boyfriend I just want things in my life to work smoothly not to be a struggle

I have no energy and I know exactly what I want to do because all my hope is gone I'm alone and I feel it more than ever

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • william85041
    william85041 kelly45731

    Posted

    Hey. Dont be giving up or giving in where here is a will there is a way in life. You might not believe me but it is true. You have done nothing wrong and have nothing to feel down about to have dealt with the thing you have had to do makes you a strong person so as i said never think pf giving up. As far as the relationship goes i know then feeling pushed my other half away when this all started but i have no regrets she is happy. All we can do is support each other and try giving advice but sometimes it is hard to believe but trust me when i say your stronger than you think and you will overcome this. We are never alone we are all here for one another keep the faith and believe in yourself things will get better. smile
  • RA10
    RA10 kelly45731

    Posted

    I also know what you want to do, but don't what you have is more than anxiety, more than looking up symptoms and being worried. You only have one symptom, the greatest of all....PAIN pure unsat
  • RA10
    RA10 kelly45731

    Posted

    Sorry my finger slipped and sent my message prematurely, you are strong already for dealing with this hurt the only cure to your pain is love, but this love starts from within yourself and many people hate hearing this but love unprecedented and divine, surely though no human is capable of such love you accept Jesus and trust me all your worries will vacate 👍, you are strong and I can bet you are beautiful keep going I'm rooting for you 🙌🙌
    • kelly45731
      kelly45731 RA10

      Posted

      I just pain all day everyday and I can't handle snymoe
  • joyce46400
    joyce46400 kelly45731

    Posted

    Hi Kelly Stop focusing on negatives and turn it around to positives and before you say I dont have any...everyone has some.  You were dealt a duff hand but look in the mirror and start liking yourself.   I would say that we have all had love and had it snatched away from us, with regards to mother devoid of emotion I am feeling that it was the previous generation and my mum was the same, showed no love but got on with it and its left me with scars as well,   I also had some things in my past that I'n not proud off, BUT  I can honestly say that I would not change a thing.  Everything that happed to me, and it included a serious illness, made me the person I am today,  I am strong, I will get through this, I will move forward,  I will love again after my husbands death.   I will survive and enjoy the world we live in.   Well balls in your court Kelly..... xx

     

  • william85041
    william85041 kelly45731

    Posted

    You need to look after number 1 yourself. I understand the pain that you are in but again no reason to give up. Life is there to be lived. You ate not alone there are alot of people like ourselves who care greatly for people like yourself and wish the best. I always use this as a means to either get help at the time i need it or to try and help others. If you ever need a chat just a ear to through what is deemed useless nonsense im here to listen sounds daft but irpt is giod to talk especially to those that really understanf what and how you feel. Remember look after you.
  • Davesoapbox
    Davesoapbox kelly45731

    Posted

    Kelly,

    As others have advised you need to focus on you right now. You see right now you are punishing yourself, blaming yourself for things that have happened. They say love is like a rose, on the surface beautiful but it can also cause great pain. Feel good about yourself, because you are a beautiful person and you need to find that you, beneath all this hurt. Stop and smile, smile and let the past be past, the future a mystery and right now your moment to live 😃🙏❤️

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