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Several spinal problems in my lumbar region-I'm married, alone,and I don't know what to do?

Posted , 4 users are following.

jessnorobb
jessnorobb

I came across this site on google, because I don't no where else to go. I am new to Kansas. I am a military family. I am medically retired and in 2006 I sufferred an injiry to my back. Once, I retired in 2011, the diagnosis to my back was a L5-S1 mild narrowing of the spine. Now, we are in 2016 and there are so many more issues than just that which my MRI revealed. This began in March 2016. My referral was to the main KU Main Hosital Spine Center with an Orthopedic Surgeon on May 2nd. Now, he is taking vacation and it is on May 31st. I reinjured myself. The pain is constant and I have a high threshold for pain, but I acknowledge the pain will not go away. I lost a lot of power in my left leg. I walk slow. I lost my education with 3 months away from graduating with my Bachelors. My 17 year old daughter who is a junior in High School has to take so many days off to take my other kids to appointments, etc. My husband is the Army with 18 years of service and our marriage is falling apart. I have literally taken my wedding ring off. I know everyone wants to help. I tell them the pain is not going to ever go away. I have to deal with it and tolerate it, but my husband doesn't talk to me at all. Zero. What do I do, before I lose my mind? I've tried talking to him, but he says the same thing I want you to get better. I am just seen as an injury and not a person. Has anyone ever been in this situation or is it just me, because I can't do it.

1 like, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • Choanie
    Choanie jessnorobb

    Posted

    How many doctors have you seen?  Have you been to a Physiatrist (Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation doctor), a local Pain Specialty Clinic for evaluation, history, possible injections, x-rays, MRI, medications?  I am not familiar with the Service and benefits, but don't think you should have to suffer.  There are many treatments and medications available.  You don't say what you have tried prior to being referred to the orthopedic surgeon.  Many do have waiting lists of one to two months for appointments, depending on your location.  

    I had a similar situation following three rear-ending car accidents in one and one-half years.  I was seeing a physiatrist for multiple injections. He was an MD and also did  acupunture with stimulation, which really helped me.  I was depressed from the chronic pain and it made me feel so much better.  I also saw a group of physicians at a local pain specialty clinic and went through extensive evaluation.  I ended up getting a neuro-stimulator implant because all other treatments and medications didn't control the pain. I tried accupressure with a great physical therapist and that helped.  

    Good luck.  You have come to the right site.  There are many good solutions from others here.

    Choanie

    • buggsy1000
      buggsy1000 Choanie

      Posted

      Hi Choanie

      Sorry to jump in, can I ask how you found the neuro stimulator, I am waiting to have mine but long wait in Uk. Just nice to hear how others have found it?

      Thanks

      George

    • jessnorobb
      jessnorobb Choanie

      Posted

      When I first injured myself in 2006, I went through steroid injections, physical therapy, multiple x-rays, MRI'S, so many different medications, etc. while I was active duty on the military. Now, I've had x-rays, and an MRI. Then automatically referred me to an orthopedic spine surgeon. All I've been given is medications in actuality from the ER. As far as a psychiatrist I have already been seeing one. So at this point its only medications sad
    • Choanie
      Choanie buggsy1000

      Posted

      Yes, my physiatrist referred me to a Pain and Specialty Clinic, in Ann Arbor, MI.  They had a group of anesthesiologists, a Physical Medicine and Rehab doctor, a Brain and Spine Surgeon, a Pyschologist, a Social Worker, a national group who had made implants for about 40+ years (I don't think I can mention the name here) and representatives from that company, physical therapists, and others.  I went there in 2006, so I have forgotten some things.  Anyway, I was assigned to a physician who took my history.  I had to have a psychological evaluation with the Psychologist and take a 587 multiple-choice test.  Then I had to see a social worker who went through my life, starting in childhood to present.  You can imagine...the usual...All of these people had to agree that I would be a good candidate for the implant.  The process took about 3 months, but usually takes longer.  I had forgotten that my orthopedic surgeon wanted me to get the implant so that I would have it for pain control for a knee replacement.  Once they decided that all prior medications, treatments, therapies had been tried and verified, then I saw the Brain and Spine Surgeon for an evaluation several times.  After that I had a "trial unit" surgery and was warned of "a placebo effect."  The trial was for three days, though I understand it could last for seven, depending on your situation.  They removed it and I continued in physical therapy another two-three months.  Then I went to a local hospital and the Brain and Spine surgeon implanted the unit.  I was in the hospital for 23 hours and then sent home.  I think I had a few "down" days but only about 2-3 and then was able to do many things I couldn't before.  I would return to the pain clinic for adjustments, etc., as often as needed.  The appointments were with the company representatives and they were available by email, at that time, as well...now by text, I am sure.

      Unfortunately, for me, the unit created additional problems and had to be turned off within four months and removed in a year.  It never did help for the knee replacement.  Don't let this discourage you, as everyone's situation is different.

      My husband was very supportive, so I was lucky.  Communication is key for any relationship.  However, my husband has severe osteo-arthritis so he is sympathetic.  You definitely need someone to talk to whom you can tell how you really feel that can be supportive and compassionate and understand your situation.

      Choanie

    • Choanie
      Choanie jessnorobb

      Posted

      I am so sorry.  It is such a long road.  I figured you probably had been through all that to get the referral.  I was not happy with my spine surgeon and wished I had said so and switched to someone else.  He never once came to see me personally in the hospital...sent staff like a PA or whatever...his time was too valuable...money, you know!  He was supposed to be the "best."  Do your homework and find out about them first before you go, if you can.  I wish you good luck.  It is rough.  Friends and a good support system, trusted doctor, whom you know likes you and wants to help you.  Don't stay with one that your "gut" tells you not to.  I made the mistake with a plastic surgeon that I shouldn't have stayed with and the side effects from that left me with life time problems.  Take care.  Lots of caring people are here who have been through problems like you describe.  We care.

      Choanie

  • buggsy1000
    buggsy1000 jessnorobb

    Posted

    Hi Jess

    Firstly I am so sorry to hear about all your pain that you are suffering, I am also sorry to hear that you feel your relationship with your husband is breaking down.

    I am glad that you have reached out on this website, I am sure many people on here know exactly how you are feeling, me included.

    I suffered from a spinal injury in 2010, my consultant at the hospital decided that my pain was all psychological and diagnosed me with a conversion disorder. I was seen by many different Dr all who said it was not a psychological issue and after 2 yrs I sought a second opinion. After many years of struggling to walk, bend, do day to day activities with my children I finally got to see a good specalist, he compared my MRI scan from 2010 and a recent June that he ordered. It showed in 2010 I had a annular tear in L4/L5 and prolapsed discs in L4/L5 and s1, in 2014 I had a spinal fusion, within the first week all my pain had gone including buttock, leg, foot and back pain. Then 8 weeks passed and all my pain started to come back, and sadly my fusion had displaced and the surgeon advised it failed. Many drugs, injections, physio ect I was refered to the pain specialists in London and I am waiting to have a nevro spinal cord stimulator trial, this will be some time in 2017, very long waiting time in the UK.

    I am 37, I have a 6 yr old little girl and a 3 yr old boy, I have on many occasions thought I wasn't understood and felt more of a hinderance to my wife than a help, sadly in September 15 I had to give up my job as I couldn't drive any longer or sit at a desk for more than 30 mins at a time. I have thought at times that I didn't want to put up with this pain or indeed live anymore. My strength to keep going comes from my photos of my children. My wife struggles to deal with the problems I have and we have been on the verge of breaking up several times, but have stayed together for the children and the hope this new procedure will help in someway.

    This is my story, but I want you to feel you are not alone in this. I believe that unless you have had back pain like many of us have had on here people just don't understand how it makes you feel and how it limits your day to day life.

    You ever feel the need to chat drop me a line. :-)

    Best regards for the future and please keep strong.

    George :-) ( uk )

    • jessnorobb
      jessnorobb buggsy1000

      Posted

      Thank you for replying. I'm also suffering from disc bulging, annular tears, disc protrusion, degenerative disc, my L5-S1 is sitting on my sciatic nerve, and runs from my L2, L3, L4, and L5. What this all means I don't know, and I am at the point where I don't care because my life has pretty much slipped away from under me. My marriage has an end date I just don't know when. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of being needy. And I'm tired of not being able to have control over my life.

      Jess

    • buggsy1000
      buggsy1000 jessnorobb

      Posted

      Hi Jess

      You sound so sad and I understand exactly where your coming from, all I wanted was for my wife to understand the pain I felt and what it made me want to do. Life between us is still not great and most nights we sleep apart but I blame that on the pain waking me after 2-3 hrs and pacing the house all night. I have been on so many meds but the one I found that helped me a lot was Pregablin which is for nuero pathic pain, it didn't take the pain away but helped ease the burning sensations I had in legs, and my pain consultant changed me from oxnorm to a drug called targinact, this is still morphin based med but it also has the antidote in it so you don't feel drugged all the time or get the other side effects.

      Please trust me and others on this site, I have reached out and had so many people in the same position come back and talk and give words of advice and encouragement that also helps me get through things.

      Keep fighting this for you, your family and one day I hope you find the solution that lets you and your husband rekindle your relationship.

      If you ever need to talk we are here for you.

      All the best

      George :-)

  • Choanie
    Choanie jessnorobb

    Posted

    Sorry, I re-read your info and saw you did have an MRI.  You are correct, they don't show everything...especially soft muscle tissue injuries which are painful.  Have you tried any type of massage?  Have you ever heard of a type of therapy called Myofascial Release.  If you haven't, look it up and read about it.  Not all therapists can do this technique.  I had terrible low-back and sciatica issues.  I went to a place where they did this and it was wonderful.  At first, it was somewhat painful as they released areas that were tense and tight from the chronic pain.  After a few sessions, I felt like a new person.  My insurance didn't cover it and it was somewhat expensive, but worth it.  I think I went about 10 times.  My psychiatrist suggested it.  I was preparing for a total knee replacement surgery and my back was so painful that I didn't think I could go through with the surgery. It really helped me.  

    Choanie

  • cynthia70714
    cynthia70714 jessnorobb

    Posted

    Jessnorobb,

    I am so sorry about your marriage, I do understand the not talking to you, I have been in so many long relationship were no of them would understand the pain or talk about, I had a fusion and it failed S1-L5 no one understands the pain that you are going through, on this site we are all here to help you deal when I found this site it was like a god send for me, I felt so alone in the pain but everyone on here has somewhat the same problems or close to them, I would definitely go talk to a neurologist or neurosurgeon, you need to take care of the problem before you end up like me no feeling in my left leg no sleep and just down.

    We are here for you.

    Take care and would love to chat more with you.

    Cynthia ( Cindy) Connecticut

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