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severly depressed

Posted , 6 users are following.

lou73688
lou73688

Were do i start im in my twentys have two young children a husband a really well paid job ive got the house the car... my children are ny life over the past year ive been feeling ao depressed im always driving and thinking i should just drive my car into somethink but this isnt just it i think about the speed ill have to do it to kill my self who i would have to write letters to what the hell is wrong with me? ive thought and read up on how to hang my self and what i would need to do it were i would do it ... ive mentioned how im feeling to my mum and husband and they just brush it of laugh at it tell me in being stupid ... im usnder so much pressure in the sole earner i work 70 hours im never at home ive discussed cutting it down but no i cant... im self employeed... i work nights barely get any sleep which i dont think is helping my mood ive never been so unhappy in all my life i dont take drugs i dont drink.. i tried medication but the doctor took me of it as i was unwell... i feel stuck... when i do kill my self everything will be paid for noone will have to worry about money or anything... i feel so worthless so used so sh*t... ive rung the samaritans when im crying in the car for hours which i do before work which is so stupid because i dont mind the work i leave hours early just so i can think... i didnt feel the smaritans worked for me because i dont want to talk ... i talk everyday in my job .

i dont no why i have written this post as never have i written anything before.

just i can talk to myself i suppose without being laughed at and judged

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • RHGB
    RHGB lou73688

    Posted

    Well, there is a lot to read there. From a purely financial point of view, you seem okay. You have a house and car, you are aslo in a relationship and have children.

    Maybe I am not reading between the lines very well, but could you be more specific about what is making you so unhappy?

  • lorraine52317
    lorraine52317 lou73688

    Posted

    Hi lou

    I read through your post and really feel for you. I know what you are saying is not relating to your material assets. I think you feel you very depressed even though you have the things you need. I think you are on a 'burn out' and this paves the way for deep depression. The fact you are looking up suicide methods suggests to me you are very serious and very unwell. Your body and brain are desperately tired and please get yourself to your doctor. If you are tried an antidepressant and it made you ill, it doesn't mean you should discount all antidepressants. They do tend to have side effects when you first start them, but they do pass and you will feel better again. please make an urgent gp appointment and get his/her views. I also think you need a holiday from work, to recharge your energy and emotional wellbeing.

    Please let me know how you get on.

    god bless ♥♥

  • xarjia
    xarjia lou73688

    Posted

    Lou. You feel low because you are suffering from depression . There does not need to be anything wrong in your life for you to feel so low. You are ill and need to see a doctor. Please tell them how you feel.

    Even though you have thoughts of killing yourself because you are fed up of life, just remember that there is help out there which can help you change the way you feel by challenging your thought processes .

    Please go to your gp and get referred to a psychiatrist. CBT training and possibly medication can help. Talking to the right professional can make a big difference .

  • jenny99721
    jenny99721 lou73688

    Posted

    Hi Lou - depression is not just caused by social and material factors - being wealthy means nothing. Often people feel guilter when they feel depressed and there is nothing that is obviously wrong. This is a pecular way of looking at things.Depression is depression and the symptoms are relatively similar regardless of how you got there. To me it sounds as if you have been working too hard for too long .it may have started out as stress/burnout and then depression if you do not make any changes. THe fact that you have looked up ways of hurting yourself is serious Lou. It sounds as if you are someone who is good at hiding how bad you really feel -this is oftern the case with people who are driven - the fact that you work so hard and so long and have paid everything off seems to suggest this. What part does your husband/partner play in all of thhis Lou. I think that regardless of anything that you need to go back to your GP or send him a print out of what you have written. The old saying ' that you sometimes have to be weak to be strong' comes to mind for me at the moment. Do not get sidetracked by anything Lou. Your mental health and wellbeing are more important than anything else. If you continue to have these strong suicidal thoughts then you must seek help - they are telling you that you cannot live your life in the same way that you have been doing. jen
  • Tamarind
    Tamarind lou73688

    Posted

    Hello Lou73688, All I know to say is that there are many of us going through these thoughts & plans but most need to try different medications to find the right one. It would be a bad doctor who didn't offer others to try. The difficult bit is that most medication needs weeks to get adjusted to. In my case, I have a reasonable day and then a downer which makes it hard to stay on anything long enough. I'm hanging in there with the current drug. It is important to see your GP again. Mine also gives me something to get a reasonable night's sleep as it is vital to get enough. Please see your GP and remember we're all with you holding hands!
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