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Started counselling...

Posted , 6 users are following.

mxishx
mxishx

Firstly I am so grateful for this website and really do appreciate people who take the time to read my problems and give me advice. Seriously, thank you all. 

I honestly believe that telling my mother about my depression is one of my biggest regrets. Several times she's told me to 'snap out of it' and telling me that 'alot of other people have it much worse.' I know this and it just makes me feel even more awful about myself. It's like an ongoing cycle where she's forcing me to go out etc and she doesn't understand how difficult it is. 

I hate taking pictures of myself and others taking pictures of me and she is constantly asking me to take pictures with her, family and of myself. She know's i'm insanely insecure and hate it so much so she thinks she's smart by asking me in front of people which just makes it so much harder for me to say no. 

My counsellor said she's going to refer me to someone else who is more specialised in my case so I guess we'll see how that goes. She said they're thinking about putting me on medication for my anxiety which is highly likely to happen. I'm so nervous because i've never been on any type of serious medication like that but I don't know. I'm pretty sick of feeling like this so i'm just praying that the counselling is effective enough. 

2 likes, 19 replies

19 Replies

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  • john74304
    john74304 mxishx

    Posted

    I am into week 6 of my latest round of couselling - my 3rd lot in 4 years. For me it beats taking medicine. I have a fab couselllor, he just lets me do the talking on the any subject of my choice. He quite happy  for me to be quiet for whole session should I chose. In fact tomorrow is couselling daybiggrin
    • mxishx
      mxishx john74304

      Posted

      I'm so glad it's going well for you! Really hope my new counsellor is like yours, I get so uncomfortable talking about feelings and personal stuff face to face with someone. Good luck for tomorrow smile
  • john74304
    john74304 mxishx

    Posted

    I am alright talking to the professionals even to non family members. It took ages to be comfortable talking to my mum though, still feel uncomfortable talking to 2 brothers about it. Strange really
    • mxishx
      mxishx john74304

      Posted

      I guess i've always been a pretty private person so having to talk about things has proved to be so hard. I totally understand about being uncomfortable talking about it with family - my parents and sisters are the only ones who know about this so it kinda sucks 
  • john74304
    john74304 mxishx

    Posted

    I was like that 30 yrs ago when  I was diagnosed with depression for the first time.  It was only after a threat from the doctor threading to put me in a mental hospital that I started to open up. 
    • mxishx
      mxishx john74304

      Posted

      Oh wow, hopefully you feel like you had made the right choice in opening up and talking.. Hopefully i'll end up doing the same 
  • john74304
    john74304 mxishx

    Posted

    He gave less than 24 hours to think about it...could have spent by 19th birthday in a mental hospital. Good luck with your journey, let me know how you get on... I find coming to this web site a god send.
    • mxishx
      mxishx john74304

      Posted

      That was really wrong of your doctor, but I really hope it all worked out for the best! Thank you so much, that means alot to me.. Please feel free to come to me anytime you need someone to talk to but yes you're right, this website is just so helpful 
    • froggy2
      froggy2 mxishx

      Posted

      Actually, it may be the best thing setting a time limit.

      I dither a lot weighing options, coming up with solution number 34762

      It took me ages (2 years) to decide how to build a table for model railway for heavens sakes.

      If someone had come along after 2 months and gone "RIGHT YOU HAVE UNTILL THE END OF THE WEEK OR YOU DON'T BUILD AT ALL!!" I would have made a *descision* and got on with building it.

      Dithering for me ends up being an added burden as I never complete anything, just have all these 100 odd post-it notes. This time I did decide and I'm happy I did. I can actually show photos of progress instead of scraps of paper drawings.

      Sometimes I wish I had a mentor - someone who could visit and encourage something.

      How did you feel about being given the time limit John?

  • anita60322
    anita60322 mxishx

    Posted

    Sorry to read what you are going through...

    I did not understand what is your age, but have you seen this link?

    http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/depression.asp

    It is good that you are looking for help..regardless what others or your mother are saying. this place offers a lot of resources! It helped me a lot. I hope you find ways to treat your anxiety and depression problems. good night! A

     

  • john74304
    john74304 mxishx

    Posted

    It was back in 1986...long before humans rights laws and patients had any rights were around...don't like consultants then still hate them now but that's another story for another daybiggrin
    • mxishx
      mxishx john74304

      Posted

      Ohh that was before my time so I guess things have changed significantly, and I got time for your stories smile
    • hypercat
      hypercat john74304

      Posted

      Hi John i have got an older experience that that.  I had a breakdown in 1973 at the age of 19 and cut my wrists at work.   My colleagues took me to the hospital where I saw a psychiatrist who just told me to go home.   When I said I couldn't he shouted at me that I would have to go to hospital and I wouldn't like it.  He was right - I didn't.  It was a huge victorian hospital and all I got was stong meds which zombified me and a weekiy 'chat' with the same psychiatrist who spent the whole time writing everything down.    I got no real help at all. 

      While I know it has changed for the better in more recent years I have a horror of ending up in one again!   Never never,   Bev x

       

  • hypercat
    hypercat mxishx

    Posted

    HI I hope the meds help and the counselling does too.

    Your mum sounds extremely worried about you and is dealing with it the only way she knows.   Ok it is not helpful but have you tried showing her any info on depression specifically how people close to you can help?  Try it but make sure she knows you are not having a go at her or anything and that you know she loves you and you her.  Ok?  Bev x  

     

    • mxishx
      mxishx hypercat

      Posted

      I find it difficult to open up to my mum so my counsellor has tried her best to explain to her by talking to her, leaflets etc. Thank you for this, it means alot x 
    • hypercat
      hypercat mxishx

      Posted

      You are welcome.  Has any of this made any difference to how your mum treats you now?  Hopefully it will.

      One of my second cousins had very severe depression and wouldn't leave his bedroom for over a year.  His mum didn't understand at all and was totally confused by it and would say things like 'Pull yourself together'  or 'Snap out of it'

      Despite that he is now a lot better so there is hope.  Bev x

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