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Thoughts please

Posted , 5 users are following.

jay98357
jay98357

I'm just throwing a question out here. If your partner makes comments like "do you want a medal" or if you book to get your hair done and it costs £85, he gets really mad. Please note I work full time, we have money in the bank. I don't drink smoke or even buy new clothes.

I just want thoughts on this as I feel like I'm constantly being put down

1 like, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Numb
    Numb jay98357

    Posted

    Reminds me of a bloke I use to no! Yea he don't want u looking good or feeling good!

    It's all emotional abuse till u feel worthless n then your that down throdden.

    Just my opinion.

    When your with someone they should make u feel special and want u to go out and do ya hair n buy new things and make u feel good about your self!! If this ain't happening then u need to have a word with him.

  • Fairy28
    Fairy28 jay98357

    Posted

    Hi jay, it's a control thing - so what if your hair costs £85 it's your money and you can do what you like with it. Saying things like ' do you want a medal' is trying to belittle you and make you feel useless - which you're DEFINATLEY not . I was once married to a man like that, little things to start with that got bigger and bigger until I could do nothing right and was too scared to have an opinion. I divorced him . Emotional abuse will drag you down unless you change things, talk to him. Good luck x

  • mike09523
    mike09523 jay98357

    Posted

    Hi,

    From a blokes view of things:What does he like to spend money on?

    Gambling, drinking, cars , football- these all cost a small fortune.

    Or is he a miser, saving all his money for whatever.

    £85 to have your hair done, once a week? Or once a year, your money your choice as long as it works both ways.

    Mike.

  • jay98357
    jay98357

    Posted

    Thanks all for your replies. The last time I got my hair done was January this year so I thought I would treat myself. So no I don't get my hair done regular.

    There are always lots of cheap and cheeky remarks and at first I thought I was taking it personal but now I realise I'm not..

    He went out the other night and bought a bloody hand held hoover which was £84 but grudges me getting my hair done!

    I have tried speaking to him and the response I get is, if you don't like it leave. So kinda sums it up really.. its not that easy when you have kids and a lovely home.

    I think I will need to change the way I had left his remarks.

    Also he sat the other night and said.. next year I'm getting a motor bike, a tat too and putting on weight and I can't even get a flipping hair cut and color

    Sorry just a bit mad today

  • mike09523
    mike09523 jay98357

    Posted

    Hi,

    Tell him next year your getting a new outfit:he's out and your fit!!!

    Mike.

  • borderriever
    borderriever jay98357

    Posted

    Either it is a sense of humour or you have a real sarastic person who does not show any consideration of any illness you may have. Of course we are not there to listen to this person and in some areas this could be taken as a bit of a joke.

    If my Partner cannot take any health conditions I may have seriously they may not be the person for you, only you can make that decision as you know the person

    We do not

    A serious word may be in order, whatever. Work on these differences if that is what it is

    B.

    • jay98357
      jay98357 borderriever

      Posted

      Hi Bob. It not a sense of humor , he is deadly serious. He shoots most people down in flames.

      I know what you are saying but it's easier said than done when you have two young kids..

      I can't change him but I think I need to change my attitude towards him when he makes his hurtful comments. It just makes me feel so worthless.

    • borderriever
      borderriever jay98357

      Posted

      If the relationship is so negative I would be concerned that He could be uncaring to both you and your kids. 

      If you cannot change Him I do not know what to suggest, My Father was something like what you describe, even when we washed in the morning we had to use cold water, even in the winter. That sort of attitude can make life very trying and uncomfortable.

      If you have a good idea how to change Him fair enough, remember you need to be comfortable in your own skin and if this is not the case I would move on

      B.

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