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What is my problem? Am i unhappy or ill?

Posted , 5 users are following.

Bluegal
Bluegal

So the question is, am I in an unhappy marriage or is my unhappiness causing marital issue's? How would I figure this question out? I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I've never really been happpy in or with myself. My anxiety has hit an all time peak but after 20 years of being with the same man, I'm wondering am I sad because I've fallen out of love or am I not feeling the love because I'm ill. Anyone else feel like this? He is a good provider but not good with my illness. In all fairness, he should have walked a long time ago because I'm really not a nice person when my illness becomes uncovered.

1 like, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • mark25365
    mark25365 Bluegal

    Posted

    I have exactly the same issue and i im too scared to end it in case im making a massive mistake due to having anxiety

     

    • Bluegal
      Bluegal mark25365

      Posted

      Am so glad I'm not the only one. I've been trying to think what I would do if shoe on other foot and decided I would probably hang in there.in sickness and in health etc.
  • cosmickitty
    cosmickitty Bluegal

    Posted

    I have been struggling with anxiety and depression and it too has been affecting my relationship. But I think you need to ask yourself - what is love? It is such an abstract concept. No two people feel it the same way. And you don't have to feel it constantly. I would say focus on helping the anxiety and depression, and then see where your relationship stands after. You might find with the anxiety and depression out of the way, that you really do love your husband and want to be with him. But it's so important to take care of yourself. Anxiety and depression will make us believe anything. But thoughts are only thoughts until you give them power.
    • Bluegal
      Bluegal cosmickitty

      Posted

      Wise words, thank you for your advice. Love the expression that thoughts are just thoughts until power is provided. You speak sense.
  • Sarah-1991
    Sarah-1991 Bluegal

    Posted

    I have been going through the exact same but believe me anxiety can do a lot to your relationship. I have decided to stay as I read a lot of thing via counselling have a look at Sherly Paulwork she focuses a lot on relationship anxiety x
    • Bluegal
      Bluegal Sarah-1991

      Posted

      Thank you. Not managed to have oubselling yet,still waiting. Sherly paulwork, will check her out. Thanks x
  • heather89388
    heather89388 Bluegal

    Posted

    Hi! That is exactly how I feel, I too am scared to say or do anything as it would ruin us money wise and to separate at our ages we are 70 and 72 would be very difficult. If anyone has answers to this or went through separation I would like to hear from them.
    • Bluegal
      Bluegal heather89388

      Posted

      Hi, following on from some comments I received , I personally am willing to try and stop thinking of the negativity within the marriage until my medication is sorted.at present, I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel as I've tried 3 or 4 different antidepressants and most made me worse. If and when they do sort me out with the correct meds, and I feel balanced for some time, I will then try and tackle the marriage problem, if it's still there. As to be honest, I haven't got the strength to deal with it right now. Some people hav been very kind with their responses and I am trying to take them on board. Although, it will be easier said than done because my hubby is one of my biggest triggers. He gets my anxiety levels up to the roof. That said, I do spend more time with him then any other living soul so that's probably the reason. I started read a self help book. Most of these, I buy them, read the introduction, feel full of hope and get bored after first chapter.this one is ok though, its a small book, so won't take long to get through and it is helping me a little with my marriage. It's called wabi sabi love by arielle Ford. It's a Japanese way of learning to love the imperfections in people and things. Only negatives I found are case study's so far seem to be based on wealthy, well, educated people, who, in my option, don't really have many other problems in their live other than to get their marriage on track.doesn't seem too difficult a task when there's only one problem to cope with. Anyway,good luck with your marriage, if definily seems like you would have had many years of happiness before your illness. Try to get it back. Grass is never greener and all that. X
    • heather89388
      heather89388 Bluegal

      Posted

      Thanks, my husband decided about four months ago to stop taking insulin, all he does every day is sleep, eat or watches TV. He has not been out of the house except for haircuts all summer. I think my anxiety is partly about him not doing anything. It is 7:00 pm and he has gone back to bed for the night, he does get up during the night watches some TV then back to bed again. He always says he feels unwell that is because his sugar levels are through the roof. He has lost alot of weight. I see my doctor tomorrow and I will tell him this. I am so unhappy I just wish I could not wake up in the morninng.
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