Wife getting a hip replacement; I am torn btwn staying to support her OR leaving 4 a vacation.

Stay

Stay - she is going to need you for at least the first month, getting in and out of bed is a nightmare for the first week, would be very surprised if she doesn't need your help just to swing her legs around onto the bed.

You definatley need a 2nd person to put on the TEDS stockings, very tight socks to knees heps with swelling, nurses in hospital will show you how, people do the home thing by themselves, but i wish I knew how, I couldn;t have managed by myself.

overwhelming tiredness after surgery, partially from the size of the surgery, loss of blood, for my surgery 4 bags of blood put aside in case I needed them, about normal I would think, so the more you can doo for her in the early stages, cups of tea, fruit juice, very light meals, many of us not hungery for a couple of weeks post surgery, and you are very woozy or drink on the strong painkillers that she will need for about a week post surgery.

Morphine type drugs, like my son said when he saw me, everything nice and pink and fluffy mum, and laughed his head off, commented that I was stoned as a newt for up to a week post surgery, still teases me, never seen me sooo drunk.

moody - yes in tears one minute and delighted that the pain she had prior to surgery gone the next, frustrated that she is not getting as well as quick as she thought she would, or delighted she is getting better faster than she thought she would.  Many of us also suffer from depression post surgery, just seesm to be part of the healing up process,  oh forgot the lack of ability to sleep, all normal I'm afraid.

If you have a very strong stomach, there are youtube videos of the surgery available online - DO NOT show them to her, they are VERY CONFRONTING, and would only scare her silly, still can not sit and watch one a couple of years on, just tooooo much for me.

I would say to her lets go away together, somewhere nice, at about 12 weeks, a reward for both of you, you for looking after her, and for her , her new life without that grinding pain she presently has, that has turned her life into a nightmare.

Stay! This is not just physically taxing it is mentally and emotionally taxing as well. She will need you even if she says go. I could never leave my spouse in a time of need. But that's just me.

Even tho she is saying go on your holiday, you must stay.  This is not a little operation and she will be very very sore.  I have had both hips done and am a very independent woman but am glad boyfriend was around

Don't listen to your wife she can't make good d visions right now!   She will need you this is a Hugh surgergy.  Not like a broken toe or something.  If you don't want to be there for her then at least hire someone to be her helper.  My husband has been a Jewel!  Been with me every step of the way.

Stay! I had my second hop replacement 6 weeks ago and couldn't have managed without my husband he has been my rock,from cooking,shopping cleaning helping to get me dressed and showered.THIS is a major operation mo matter what anyone says. Good luck.

Hi Steven,

Wow, I don't think your wife knows what she will need after the surgery! I am 3 weeks post-op tomorrow and would be lost without my husband. I was very active prior to surgery and not using any assistive devices. I turned 58 the day before surgery and knew I would be depending upon my husband for at least the first 2 weeks. He was the one that underestimated what we would be going through during recuperation. I am doing very well, (walking the stairs 3-4 times per day, managing my sponge bathing and daily dressing, breakfast and most mobility by myself). I have yet to be out in the car for dinner or anything else. We have had quite a bit of rain in Northern California the past few weeks and the PT will not let me jeopardize my recovery. I still use the walker and hope to graduate to the cane by the beginning of the week.

My personal suggestion is to stay with your wife and be the best caregiver you can be - she will appreciate you. Also, once you see what the first few days are like, I don't think you would be able to enjoy yourself while on vacation.

Hello folks!  With gratitude, thank you all for your impressive responses!

As I am writing this, the trip cancellation is in process with glee knowing that it is indeed worthy for me to stay.  She's certainly worth it...!  <smile>

Warmly yours,

Steven

 

Stay then both go on vaca. Geez!

Hi there,

I'm day 14 post op of RTHR,I would not of been able to cope without my partner for at least the first seven days.the first 4 were the hardest, someone else mentioned it,that you need help to move your leg into bed. The tiredness is overwhelming, so making drinks and food is a God send,I would definitely stay, also for emotional support :-) I definitely would not of coped and I'm really independent.

Nicky

I am fiercely independent, I needed help. It s hard to admit, and hard to allow. But I was so greateful to my husband for all of the care and company. 💕🌟

Stay. She will need you. Recovery even if it all goes as predicted is hard work both mentally and physically. Go on your trip later. Take her away for a short break when she is able.

you presumably knew that all answers would be to stay, use them all to convince her that your wish to stay is the correct decision.

You need to be there for her. This is major surgery and it is important that you are there to look after all of her needs...trust me it is pretty horrible having to cope all on your own...I've had to do it!

Cheers

Richard