A GP's Twelve Days of Christmas

I had intended to mull over the coming festivities, bewailing not enough time, too many jobs to cram in etc etc, but I realised that this would not be relevant for several of our professional readers ... So in the spirit of reflection and inclusivity, I offer you my observations on 2013.


I had intended to mull over the coming festivities, bewailing not enough time, too many jobs to cram in etc etc, but I realised that this would not be relevant for several of our professional readers: those who have faiths other than Christianity, those who choose to ignore it for personal or ethical reasons, and men - who tend not to be too involved in planning and buying, but will unwrap presents, eat and fall asleep. So in the spirit of reflection and inclusivity, I offer you my observations on 2013.

Please read to the tune of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas':

On the first day of Christmas the government gave to me - a visit from the CQC.

On the second day of Christmas the government said to me - tut-tut! Twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

On the third day of Christmas the government gave to me - three extra vaccine programmes, twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

On the fourth day of Christmas the government gave to me - a new healthcare system, three extra vaccine programmes, twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

On the fifth day of Christmas the government gave to me - five out-put statements; a new healthcare system, three extra vaccine programmes, twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

On the sixth day of Christmas the government gave to me - revalidation tick boxes, five out-put statements; a new healthcare system, three extra vaccine programmes, twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

On the seventh day of Christmas the government gave to me - seven day a week access, revalidation tick boxes, five out-put statements; a new healthcare system, three extra vaccine programmes, twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

On the eighth day of Christmas the government gave to me - just eight per cent of the NHS budget, seven day a week access, revalidation tick boxes, five out-put statements; a new healthcare system, three extra vaccine programmes, twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

On the ninth day of Christmas the government gave to me - useless QOF questions, eight per cent of the NHS budget, seven day a week access, revalidation tick boxes, five out-put statements; a new healthcare system, three extra vaccine programmes, twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

On the tenth day of Christmas the government gave to me - another year with a pay cut, useless QOF questions, eight per cent of the NHS budget, seven day a week access, revalidation tick boxes, five out-put statements; a new healthcare system, three extra vaccine programmes, twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

On the eleventh day of Christmas the government gave to me - 11 trusts on special measures, another year with a pay cut, useless QOF questions, eight per cent of the NHS budget, seven day a week access, revalidation tick boxes, five out-put statements; a new healthcare system, three extra vaccine programmes, twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

On the twelfth day of Christmas the government gave to me - a 12-hour day (if you're lucky), 11 trusts on special measures, another year with a pay cut, useless QOF questions, eight per cent of the NHS budget, seven day a week access, revalidation tick boxes, five out-put statements; a new healthcare system, three extra vaccine programmes, twice as many complaints and a visit from the CQC.

And no doubt, most of us will be back for more after the holidays. Some may have little, or no holiday. As this blog may have been rather depressing, I shall say goodbye in the manner of the out-going President of the Royal College of GPs (Clare Gerada) who always seemed to stay positive, despite some fierce provocation. Remember - you do a fantastic job, in some tough circumstances, and we'll do our best to support you with useful, evidence-based information at your fingertips. For the latest content updates see here.

Happy Christmas holidays!