How to be ... a celebrity cyclist

Know your place: you are celebrity first, cyclist second. Approach your shiny new accessory with the same attitude as your Superdrug bestselling fragrance or that sexy underwear range you designed for "real women". So many strings, so many bows. It's a route to that hallowed ground - the This Morning couch - so milk it for all it's worth. No one knows you didn't pass your cycling proficiency test and travel to your local Whole Foods by helicopter - just attach yourself to some other self-promoting celeb cyclist and smile sweetly when a tricky question crops up. Remember, you're the glamorous face of pedal power: don't sweat the details, just look hot. Ditch the helmet - it'll only mess with your blow dry - and for God's sake ditch the Lycra. The only way to ride a bike through London with (urgh) real civilians is in skyscraper heels and a cinched waist. And don't be too put off by that pesky basket - it's the perfect place to store signed copies of your book/calendar/DVD/fragrance.

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