Now you can pump iron like Madonna, thanks to her gym empire

Expansionist news from Madonna, now, who this week announced that she is to open a global chain of gyms. Or, more accurately, "a one-of-a-kind experience merging fitness with entertainment".

"Our goal is to create an environment inspired by Madonna's vision and high standards of what the ideal gym would be," trilled her business manager, who added that the first branch will open in Mexico City next month. "Hard Candy Fitness will be a reflection of Madonna's point of view and will reflect her input on every detail including music space, light and other design cues. Madonna's touch will be everywhere."

Well, of course it will – after all, there is nothing to which this renaissance woman cannot turn her hand. It wasn't so long ago, you might remember, that Madonna was badgering the UK government for facetime, explaining that she was "working with a group of scientists" who had solved the problem of nuclear waste (apparently, they'd poured some £4-a-bottle Kabbalah water into a lake within the Chernobyl exclusion zone and it had neutralised all the radiation). Downing Street and Whitehall were too blinkered to see the light, of course – but we must wish milady luck with this subsequent project. Nuclear science's loss looks to have been aerobics's gain.

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