Are you healthy? Healthier than I have been for years, because last year I did Spamalot in the West End and had to sing and dance on stage eight times a week. I also have what I can only modestly term a superpower: I'm resistant to chickenpox.
Ever spent a night in hospital? I've only been in for day surgery. I make terrible jokes every time I go into a hospital. I think it's a defence mechanism. When Meera [Syal] was giving birth I got into awful-joke mode: it was like the worst gig imaginable, with no one responding.
Any notable accidents? In possibly the worst day's filming I've ever experienced, at about 2am I trod on a rusty nail. I finally got round to convincing someone to give me a tetanus shot by about 4am, and the only person who was remotely qualified to do it was the guy doing continuity who had trained as a dentist.
Do you worry about your weight? A little. Good diet and exercise are key, but abject fear has its own rewards. And arriving on the first day for rehearsals for Spamalot and seeing all these much younger, much fitter people, who I was going to be on stage with, became a catalyst for cutting out the more unhealthy aspects of my life.
What exercise do you take? I love team sports - they give me something to focus on rather than the fact that I can't breathe or my muscles are aching.
How much do you drink? Not much, actually. This week we had family over on Sunday, so I had a couple of glasses of wine, and - this is going to sound very glamorous - I had half a paper cup of wine yesterday at the end of filming.
Are you happy? I've probably been more genuinely, consistently happy over the past five years than I've ever been. It's no coincidence that it coincides with me getting married and becoming a dad. Also, there are five or six people in the world who will let me know if I'm being a decent human being or a total twat - and I'll believe them because they've got no spin. That's a great solace.
Have you ever had therapy? I went to a psychotherapist for a year and a bit, and it was fantastic. I went in with a very clear question: I couldn't work out why I behaved in a certain way in certain situations, and I got that answered.
How do you feel about cosmetic surgery? I don't have a problem with it, but I am against children having it. The problem is the drip-down effect, where it becomes the norm - that's frightening.
• Sanjeev Bhaskar is starring in the comedy series Mumbai Calling on ITV1, Saturdays at 9.30pm