How to get through a break-up

How to not break, when you break up

Getting through a break-up is never an easy thing, whether you are the one who got dumped or the one who broke it off. But the main thing to keep in mind when you do break up, is that some things do come to an end, and it’s going to be okay.

Let yourself grieve, but not forever

We all need to let ourselves feel the loss, because the more we feel it the more we can accept that it is gone. Once we accept that, then it is easier for us to move on. So let yourself listen to sad music, and remember the relationship. But always keep in mind that you will have to let that go at some point, whether it is in a week, month or six months. If you need to, set yourself a date. And when that day comes, pick yourself up and start moving forward. It doesn’t mean you have to forget them on that day. But you need to start moving on.

When the day comes, gather all of their things, and although it’s a cliché, pack it up and get rid of it. You allowed yourself to dwell, but now you need to look forward and see what could be instead of what has been.

Try to be happy – really try

It may sound odd, but you need to start trying to be happy. You may be thinking, "Why wouldn't I want to be happy?" Well, quite often when we are suffering we only think in a negative manner. A lot of us love complaining. We like making bitter comments when someone cuts in a queue. In a way, we just love to be unhappy – but at the end of a break-up this is not always the best state of mind. If you can, try to be happy about the small things and try to complain less. It can put you in a better state of mind.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to stop complaining forever. Just until you feel more like yourself. Then you can mutter as much as you want about getting asked for your ID at the bar– or for not getting asked.

Do the things you couldn’t

Being in a relationship always leads to compromise, and sometimes you have to let go of things you really loved. Maybe your Ex had an allergy to your favourite peanut butter ice cream. Well now that obstacle is gone and you are once more able to enjoy the things you like. So find some happiness in rediscovering small things you used to love that were compromised due to your Ex. Try to think of something each day you could rediscover or that is completely new. You might be surprised by how much it can help

It’s often the small pieces of happiness that can get you through rough times.

Don’t stay glued to your Facebook

Or Twitter. When we have extra time to fill we are all guilty of just aimlessly scrawling through our social media feed. But this increases the chance of you seeing a photo of your Ex that just might trigger your unhappiness. It is also best to not post too much about your break-up; it can often be done out of anger or hurt, which you could later regret. It also stops others getting involved in a matter that should just concern the people closest to you.

Don’t talk bad!

At the end of a relationship, it’s easy to hate the person who broke up with you but don’t start demonising your Ex. Although ranting about all the things they did wrong can be therapeutic, don’t go around telling everybody their dark secrets. It’s a lot better to try to end the relationship on a happy note because there may come a time when you meet or bump into each other.

Get sleep! It really does help

When you are back to sleeping on your own, it can be a bit daunting going to sleep. But just embrace the newfound space you now have. Also, try not to get into bad sleeping habits - letting yourself rest properly will improve your mood and give you more energy for the day to come.

If you do find that you start developing insomnia or sleeping problems after a break-up, there are many remedies to help you. You could try watching ASMR videos on YouTube. They may be strange but they do help many relax and unwind. Although, if your sleeping or stress doesn’t get better, seek advice from a local GP or pharmacist.

Make an effort to see your friends

Lastly, find comfort in those closest to you. So many people nowadays try to conceal their emotions and hide them from others, especially men. But opening up to your friends about how you’re feeling can take some pressure off your shoulders. Then as time goes on you can get out more and start enjoying yourself with your friends.

You may just want to stay bundled up on the sofa, but getting up and socialising can really help you move on. You need to slowly keep taking baby steps until the time comes when you no longer feel the sting of the break-up. Instead, you should look forward to the future that has, even more, happy times ahead.

In the end!

When it comes down to it, you should deal with a break-up the way you see best for you. It will be different for everyone. But always remember, things will get better and your mental and physical well-being should always be your first priority.