Tory poll lead slashed. Rentals of Fawlty Towers DVDs up a quarter in the wake of the Brand/Ross/Sachs scandal. Drug use at its lowest level since 1996. Beef suet returning to supermarket shelves. This is going to be the best recession yet.
But not all the cheering news out there is based on a narrative of deprivation breeding old-fashioned values. There is some actual good fortune, too. Londoner Kenan Altunis, for example, has just won $1m a year - for life! - on a scratch card his mother brought home from New York. Altunis says the win will not "materially change his life", and it probably won't, because he's already a multimillionaire investment banker. In the current economic climate he might well have found himself in a position to think about perhaps tightening his belt a bit, so this windfall couldn't have come at a better time. In any case it's nice to hear a story about a rich person hitting the jackpot, because poor people often get really messed up by sudden wealth, and that can be depressing. Don't invest it all in one place, Mr Altunis!
While the rest of us are waiting for his wealth to trickle down, we could all do with a lesson in looking at the shiny side of each bad penny that comes our way. Here's how it works: the bad news is that more than a third of elderly people claiming pension credit are receiving the wrong amount - but the good news is that £200m was actually overpaid. The bad news is fraud accounts for ... no, wait, we're meant to stop on good news. Chin up!
Recession-busting tip: Beat the high price of clubbing by staying home alone with a load of cheap supermarket alcohol. By cutting corners you may even find you can afford to get drunk more often.
What's going cheap right now: Complaining to the BBC (off peak), pumpkins, crude oil, High School Musical 3 Halloween costumes.