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Posted , 8 users are following.

Depression is just too frigging much! It tricks you into thinking maybe things can be better then drags you the hell back down again, for me there's no escaping it there's just false pretences! Making You feel like you're coming out of it....it's not true! For me depression is me! I am depression! At best I can have ok-ish days which I fouled myself into thinking were good for me but I was wrong! I don't want ok-ish days I want good days, normal days, a normal life!!! But I know it's never going to happen, not for me! Some people deserve happiness, I'm just not one of them! I think I realised that a long time ago but guess I didn't except it but now? Now I'm fed up! Joe I've had enough! Now I realise now I see now I know that no matter what I do the best my life will ever get is "OK" and that's not enough for me.....I'm done!!!

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    seams to be, your trying too much, i often feel like you do, not so bad now, but occasionally, seeking help from my GP has helped things, its taking time, slowly focusing away from the horrors holding me back,
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  • Posted

    Hey dondons, 

    firstly, everyone deserves happiness, yourself included. You may not feel as though you have happiness in your life right now and may not have for a long time but, you still deserve to be happy, no doubt. 

    It's hard because we see people who are lucky in that they respond really well to the treatment of depression, they may be ill and suffering for a few months but, they manage to turn it around and unfortunately that isn't the case for everyone. Some people don't ever fully recover from depression and it might be something that you have to deal with for the rest of your life. But, that doesn't mean that the fight is over and it doesn't mean it isn't worth it. There is still hope that things could change. That may not be anytime soon but, it could. 

    It's not fair that you and a lot of us here have this paralysing and overwhelming affliction based upon us, it really isn't. I wish more than anything that I could take it away and allow everyone here to live happy, carefree lives. BUT, we do have something that a lot of people don't have and that is the ability to notice change, no matter how slight. You say you have ok-ish days, if anyone else lived in your "ok-ish" day they might think nothing of it, they might find it very hard still, but you manage to see at least some positive in it, you appreciate the smaller things that seem insignificant to others and so see the world in a way many will never understand. 

    I can't really make things better for you, but, I really hope you find solace. You are so strong despite the fact you probably don't feel that way. Everyone is here to support you through these tough times xx

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  • Posted

    Massive hugs you x. You do deserve happiness, you do. You've done nothing wrong. You're. A good person, forgive me my glases are somewhere apart from my face lol so spelling awful. You are a strong person. We all have our blips with this illness, but I know you, you are a fighter and amazing. Don't give up ok. Please try to sleep and rest. See what tomorrow brings. Within light there is always darkness and within darkness there is always light. Just depends on what lamp shade we're wearing lol. Try to sleep, maybe contact the gp or contact mental heath team. Thinking of you. Nick.
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  • Posted

    Hello dondons

    I understand where you're coming from, depression really is a devastation. I know what it feels to want something "normal". Everyone deserves to be happy and you shouldn't isolate yourself from that fact. Every one experience both good and bad days that is normal.

    You're right Depression will trick us but the good thing about it is we can learn to avoid it, all it needs is positive thinking. I know it's not easy to recover and it's so frustrating when we see people become better with their treatment but we remains at the state or sometimes gets even worse, but upon seeing others improve also gives us hope. It's a matter of how we perceive things. The important thing is to trust our doctors and believe in ourselves. 

    Being okay may not seem as good enough for you now but eventually being okay means having a normal life. Would you give that up or is that what you're aiming for? 

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  • Posted

    I think the best way to happiness is not to expect it. Don't expect too much. If you feel down, accept that you feel down. Don't fight it and don't feel guilty about it either. I've been feeling down today. I've been trying to interest myself in shopping but have failed. It gets harder as you get older, in that there are fewer new things in your life. I've been on anti-depressants for 17 years. I could never live without them. I've had some relief while driving along country roads, having a break from urban life, which can be so oppressive and claustrophobic. Take care with your diet too. Eat as much fruit and veg as you can. It really does make a difference. Best of luck.
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  • Posted

    Hi Dondon you have had some very good advice from the others.  I agree especially with Dopy - don't expect too much and it's certainly too big a step for you at the moment to go from major depression to happeness,  It doesn't work like that.   How about trying little steps to it first?   Try and concentrate on feeling a bit less depressed,  then see if you can have more good days than bad,  then the odd day you feel almost normal again.   You have to work up to happiness.  And what is happiness anyway?   Everyone has problems in life,  everyone feels stressed sometimes,  many like us get depressed.  Everyone goes through sad periods in their life when they can't crack a smile to save their lives.   The main thing is to hang on in there and things will improve bit by bit.   You are expecting too much too quickly.   Bev x
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  • Posted

    Thank you for all your replies X

    It's not that I'm expecting too much, at least I don't think I am. It's just that ok-ish days I talk about are still rubbish but I compare them to days I have had that have been worse therefore I call them ok-ish as I know I've had worse days ( if that makes sense?

    I just want my life to be normal again.

    Thank you again for all your advice xx

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