"How the menopause can drive women MAD!"

Posted , 13 users are following.

You just need to google those words above and you will find a great article written in the Daily Mail: Quote from article:  ‘I mentioned to an old friend that what I really needed was a mental institution, because I was losing it. Before long she said: “You don’t need a mental institution, you need a gynaecologist”.  

This is such a validating read. I need things like this as well as this forum! Honestly - I really can't comprehend how women did it back in the day - can you imagine all that some of us are going through and having to do it all alone or put your trust into one lousy GP who would give the same nightmare advice that some of us have gotten???

Mauiblue - you mentioned in a post months ago about what it was like to wake up to a horrible night sweat and anxiety - I think I read that at least 5 times.

You all know the drill - you think it's getting better - but then the NEW symptom shows up; something you've never experienced before and you look at the meno list and sure enough, it's on there. 

I keep saying - "when is this new symptom NOT going to scare me?". I clearly had a blessed life before this all hit.

My new life is hot flashes, night sweats, unpredictable periods - and all NEW unsettling symptoms. I don't drink. I don't smoke etc. I'm so weary from being scared each time the new symptom comes that sometimes I'm thinking maybe I need a drink.  I'm really starting to understand why they prescribe the anti -anxiety. I keep telling myself - YOU are on your period and you are in PERI and you're clearly right around the meno hallway! 

Today I have chapped/chaffed eyelids in the folds from sweating during the hot flashes and night sweats - I guess I didn't think to wipe off my eyelids; I was so focused on the sweat above my lips and patting my face. UGH. My nose is dry and crusty - all new allergy stuff I've never had before. 

I do the whole - I'd rather have that symptom than this symptom conversation with myself - when it all just stinks, doesn't it? 

It's the unknown all of the time!!!!!!!! 

2 likes, 40 replies

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  • Posted

    Hi Finny- you are exactly right.. when I started this almost 2 years ago I truly thought I was either dying or crazy or both. Upon doing a lot of research and now see that we are “fine”,and I use that term loosely we do have symptoms to contend with… But it’s nice to know we are not alone. That has helped me so much just seeing this other symptoms in writing, the ones you mentioned, the ones on the list etc.… It truly is something different every week every month, I don’t know how people can really get used to this. I guess we don’t, we just got up. Hang in there and always reach out if needed, someone is always here.
    • Posted

      Hi Amy - My experience sounds like yours - it all for me in June. It's exactly as you have written - it seems it's something different every week every month and it's so hard to get used to. I had the menopause depression and for now that has seemed to have lifted; I don't know if it's the progesterone cream I started? That was probably the hardest of ALL of the symptoms - they all stink - but I'm thankful that is currently not on my list. I still have the mood swings - they seem to come with each hot flash...if I'm having 10 hot flashes a day - those feelings can be exhausting. Thanks for you reply, Amy! As you said - it's so comforting to know we are not alone.

  • Posted

    Your words are so true.... all weekend I felt like I had some maniac inside me.... I couldn't focus on anything.. 100 things rushing round my head and not being able to focus on 1.. eyes sore. Head sore.. tired I could nap all day long... so to the doctors I went. He asked what was wrong and I looked at him like a lunatic and replied I don't know... I can't think straight. I sleep all the time.. my head is full and he said HRT. Is what u need... so here I am day 1 of hrt patches. Anything's gotta be better than feeling like your going insane x

    • Posted

      Good luck donnalacey, first step to feeling better x
    • Posted

      Donnalacey - I sure would love to hear how you do on the HRT! I am thankful you have a doctor that knew immediately what it was vs. tell you it's all in your head. I hope this is the start of better days for you. Keep us posted.

  • Posted

    Thanks for that finny, just had a read and a lil weep. It's really easy day to day to just get consumed with how you feel, and that can be quite a lonely place to be. I remind myself daily that it's my hormones, but still get the thought ' what if its not' so it's reassuring to read something that reflects how I feel. Even my really lovely gp says she thinks I'm a bit down, I have to remind myself of who I am and how I feel because you lose sight of it because you are so desperate for someone to take over the situation. After 6 months on bhrt, I feel now that the dose or type needs to be looked at again, I genuinely think something has dipped.... Just have to kick myself up the butt and find a specialist to help again. I usually try to be perky, positive and realistic but feel like my hormone inbalance has been a lifelong quest!! Thanks again for sharing, and love to all the ladies. How strong are we?!! Xxx

    • Posted

      Sassy - I'm so thankful for all of the women, like you, on this forum. It can be a lonely feeling to be going through this as I hate to trouble my mom, my husband, friends etc - they care for us...but they truly don't know or understand what we are going through. I am learning to tell myself regularly that it is the hormones. I am starting to recognize when I am having a hot flash and the physical and emotional symptoms that come with each one. I am hopeful that you will be feeling better if you decide to  get your dose looked at again. That is another reason I love this forum - it's learning from others what could happen or possibilities to expect down the road etc. It's learning that we keep trying and inspire one another with our strength and perseverance...Knowing we are not alone during this time. Take care, Sassy! 

  • Posted

    I told my husband yesterday that maybe I should start drinking heavily.  Then I won’t know what’s going on!!
    • Posted

      You should!  I am dizzy all the time, but, I am on an AD...so my body says hey I’m dizzy...but my mind says...whatever!  and I have been driving...scary!  Like being drunk, but not in the silly way!  I am weaning off because I feel brain dead and it is making my dizzies worse!  🤪

  • Posted

    Good article...thanks Finny!  I must say if I ever have a hallucination that there is a strange man climbing in my window...my family has my permission to send me to the booby hatch! 😂

    • Posted

      Lou - I am so thankful for your posts on this forum!....you make me smile and laugh - oh how we all need that! I am grateful for the moments each day that I can laugh at myself at times and think - wow I can be quite the scene these days with the hot flashes and all of the other lovely meno gifts I get each day!!!
  • Posted

    I always think I'm going mad! Some days more than others. Every twinge is a dread disease! Right now I have a weird feeling in my groin area and sometimes my breasts feeling like they're burning. Those are new symptoms. I have fibroids and they're supposed to shrink after menopause but sometimes I wonder........

    I had two glasses of wine after work today.🍷🤣🤣

    Also can advertisers stop with the commercials telling us we are dying from everything? Or if you don't get such and such screenings you are at risk for every disease known to man?

    • Posted

      I am sick if these pill ads every minute too!  ailments are being invented to justify the pills instead of the other way around!   😡

    • Posted

      It's funny that you said that! I was just thinking the same thing the other day. There was a commercial on about something called Dupuytren's Contracture(I had to look it up). This is apparently something that has been around forever and people just dealt with it. Now you need surgery if it becomes severe, even with treatment it may come back. More money for Doctor's big Pharma, etc. Have you seen the one where they are telling all baby boomers to get tested for Hep C? If you have it it's curable, but they tell you how it can cause liver cancer and blah blah. But all you need is a simple blood test from your doctor. But I'll just bet since it's not a normal blood test you get with your annual physical exam it probably costs extra. So if you have it or not somebody makes money.  So much fearmongering going on with these commercials. Growing up the only commercials I remember were about food, cigarettes, and cars! Lol! Menopausal women already are thinking they have every disease in the world. Then there are the commercials that show these thin women with thick gray hair hiking, jogging, and traveling alone. I had to take a Valium just to go to the movies by myself a few months ago. Have you seen the Replens commercial? I really hate that one!  Lol!  Lol!

    • Posted

      Juanita.  I haven’t seen the replens one!  I have to mute all of them.  My aunt actually had the dupuytrens. ...and the surgery.  She had to bc she is a secretary.  I’m always worried I’m going to get it🙄

    • Posted

      Right there with you!!! I am so emotional lately and of course like you said, hate the commercials!!! Like we need more to worry about! Hang in there!!💜

    • Posted

      😂Hey if the Valium works!  I would need a blow dart to get me to the movies these days.  I have seen those...the beautiful mountain or grandmas baking cookies in the kitchen, meanwhile in the background they are talking about diarrhea and anal bleeding.  Sounds delightful, can I have another cookie? 🤪Another good one is the pill for when you laugh and cry...I’ve done that a million times!  Just read a piece about the company  who put out opiates and how they are now trying to get patent  for the pill to wean those addicted off of it!  Billions of dollars.  What a country.  

    • Posted

      I’m sorry but your description of the pharma commercials had me laughing out loud 😂 

    • Posted

      I haven't seen it lately, but it's ridiculous! I mute a lot of commercials too. Some of them are so awful! Making you think you're gonna keel over any minute! And I'm so over getting junk mail for "final expenses"! I understand why your aunt had the surgery, it was affecting her job.

      Try not to worry about getting dupuytrens. Like I said, commercials aren't fun anymore (except during Superbowl lol). Most of them are just morbid, What happen to the days when commercials made you laugh?

    • Posted

      Omg! Lmao! Lou you made me laugh today! I needed it! I've gotten to the point where I'm 100 percent sure I'm going to have to retire early. I'm gonna take my chances with God on my side. I simply cannot do the type of work I do anymore.

    • Posted

      Juanita...if you can...go for it! Hand out stickers at Walmart if you get bored! 😆   I hope you can get a pension, or something.  I tried disability for my back problems and vertigo ...no go for me.  Too young, too this, too that!    Also, no box to check off for womanly issues.   It’s ok, that I have paid hundreds of thousands into the system.  You are a superstar in my book for working right now!  🤗

    • Posted

      Thank you Lou! But I don't feel like a superstar. I wish I did. It's

      just getting harder and harder to deal with my clients. My cowokers are fine but I don't feel like being around them. It's not them its me.  I'm late every day now. I can't get through a month without taking one or two days off. If I leave I have enough saving to last about six months, then what? I'll be 59 soon but I'm still three years away from getting a pension and social security. I have a 15 year old car(so will need a new car soon) and bills to pay, and then there's health insurance.  For right now retiring early is just a pipe dream.

      Now I have to go sit at a three day conference that I could give a hoot about, but at least I won't be at the job dealing with clients.biggrin I haven't been to the gym in three weeks, just no motivation. I agree with you, there should be disability for menopause. Especially the women that have severe physical problems because of it and also for women like me where it's mostly mental, anxiety and depression. Yes I'm on a AD, and have my Valium for the really rough days but I can't stay on them forever and I refuse to take the Valium every day and I won't get on a higher dose of the AD for fear of it being more difficult to come off it at a higher dose. Of course it hasn't helped that it's been cloudy for about five days in a row.

      Sorry to go on so. I just needed to vent/talk. What really gets me is my 46 year old Supervisor has been post menopausal for two years. Every day she comes in al bouncy, laughing and full of energy! She can't take HRT(her mom died of BC in her 50's). But she has to on something! Lately I just feel like an old crone, just existing, I have some good days. Don't get me wrong every day above ground is a good day and a blessing. I just wish I had more good days. rant over.

      I have to say I did laugh out loud when you said it would take a blow dart to get you to the movies. I used to go to the movies all the time by myself and didn't think a thing about it. Now if I go alone(which is rare) I take a Valium or I go with someone. What's wrong with me? What do I think is going to happen if I'm alone? This is so crazy!!!

       

    • Posted

      I get that way too.  I hate when family/friends ask how I feel.  Or hope your better...I just tell them what they want to hear “ Fine and Yup” are a big part of my vocabulary lately.  Do they honestly want to hear me...nope!  I have recently started tapering off Lexapro.  I complied with the anxiety diagnosis.  But, my vertigo is worse., I posted another theory recently...and I think I am on the right trail.  

      Upsets me that I feel so bad.  I love what I do and so badly want to get to work.  But, a pet stylist with bad vertigo...not cool!  This is disabling.  I see total fakers who are “disabled” yet, they have no trouble finding the nearest barstool to belly up to the bar.  Or smoke 3 packs a day.  I hope it eventually gets easier...Take good care!  🤗🙏

    • Posted

      Juanita I am 46 too.  And I feel like you..  find out what she is taking!  I need a dose
    • Posted

      Funny you should ask. I asked her today and she claims she's just taking B12. I don't believe her for one second.🙄

    • Posted

      🤗🤗🙏🙏I just tell people what they want to hear too. They don't really want to know. I'm hanging on by the grace of God.

    • Posted

      Apparently they only happen during the Superbowl.😂😂😂😂 That's the only time I see them.🙄

    • Posted

      Hi Juanita! I watch re runs of the Golden Girls sometimes on the weekends ..Even when I was much younger, I found that show hilarious!  Anyways, there is 1 funny commercial left in the world...it is for hormel pepperoni...have only seen it during those reruns.  😂

    • Posted

      I used to watch reruns of The Golden Girls every night. I haven't seen the pepperoni commercial.

    • Posted

      Juanita - you make me laugh!!! If we didn't have the giggles here and there to lift our spirits during tough times can you imagine? I am thankful for your laughing emoji's and the laughter I have when I imagine those commercials you are describing, LOL!!!

    • Posted

      Lol.  I was just reading something the other day about b6 helping.  I used to take a bcomplex.  Maybe I should start again.  And yea she is prob taking more than b12 lol.
    • Posted

      It really does make me feel better when I can make someone laugh on this forum. I know you and some of the other ladies have made me laugh out loud and the endorphins released made me feel better.❤❤❤❤❤
    • Posted

      I know this woman. I worked with her nearly 12 years and she is definitely taking more than B12. I think more like B12 with a side of Xanax!😂😂😂😂

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