24 little hours

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What a difference a day makes? If anyone is nice enough to read this post please forgive me if I make any typos? It's usually this phone but right now it may well be me? Went to go pub this morning but ended up in library, sorry-24 hours ago I eventually grew a set and after 16 yrs called time on my relationship? Me bird is like 5ft nothing I'm 6-2in in pretty decent shape but was brought up not to raise my hand to a female no matter what? She had a pretty dreadful life til met me and was abused by her exes so wasn't used to someone like myself so when she hit me I excepted it, stuff happens, she'd always apologise and I'd always forgive. The way it goes I suppose. Anyway I went to see her cos what kind of lowlife does things by phone/txt. Everything went amicable, sorry she was drunk when hit me? Never done it sober in the 16 yrs? Sorry again but she hardly drinks but I got her a flat and right facing lives a lovelly but lonelly girl whose alcoholic and has Tina as a friend now? Anyway done and dusted and went to go pub 2day as I said? Couldn't face it, went in library and then back home? Msg after msg off Tina with apologies and fort eff it and went pub? Not being used to it I,m pretty wasted here but the thing is, my friends who haven't seen me for so long were like, wow havnt seen you in ages or believe you had a breakdown to any money on ya til Friday? My head is back in a mess, after 16 yrs 24 hrs ago did I end the best thing that's ever happened to me or have I broken those shackles that was keeping me down? What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours? So if anyone reads this and is kind enough to reply pls advise me should I stay with her and except the beatings when she gets drunk "through her neighbour" or stick to my guns cos after a while I,'ll get over her but no matter what I would never leave her without so in essence I will be giving someone whatever and be on my own and if meet someone else woukd still look after her which would prob cause problems? Whatever anyway, moral of the story is, I should not of gone out, I should not of had a drink and most of my so called friends are A holes?

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  • Posted

    I'm not in any position to advise you, but violence towards a partner doesn't stop. The pattern is much commoner with violence to female partners than to male partners, but it continues unless there is a very major change in the relationship.
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    • Posted

      Hi carmel hun, Sorry about yesterday? Dont know why or how some of our (me and you) posts get so misinterpreted? I,m not the abuser hun, even when ill i wasnt the kind to go get drunk or li e there expecting others to look after me, i still took tina to restaurants or theatre etc? Why the heck would need help? Tina yes? If wanted the relationship to proceed maybe some sort of marriage councelling would be in order but i dont, if to be humane is to walk away and Not look back knowing She,ll be in difficulty for a while until gets on her feet well i dont want to be humane. I,m just an humble guy who thinks more to Life than being vindictive and rather have a friend than an enemy? Thanks for your imput tho hun and i appreciate all the advice you give, maybe your right and i need the help? I know i have problems, first to admit it and help for that is already on Its way but has for tina, no hun, professional help aint needed on my end? Ha. Thanks again angel.
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    • Posted

      Hi Night Owl. Sometimes needy people are attracted to other needy people. They like to think they are propping them up and helping them but sometimes it is more a case of needing to be needed and being lonely? It fills some sort of need in themselves. I once knew a lady who could not stop herself from wanting to help other people all of the time. But the truth was she had no family or friends and taht filled the gap. Nobody wanted to socialise with her or see her as a normal person they only ever wanted her when they wanted help or money. So it was not really HER they came to it was what she could do for them because other people did not want to.

      I have met a lot of people who would have used me for money or other things. But if someone wants me for what I can do for them instead of for me I walk away. It is not a friendship it is one sided.

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  • Posted

    Hi night owl you sound a very caring person it was not your fault that you could no longer care for your sister I could not have done that to the end you weren't to know her time was so near you couldn't save her any more than you can save Tina we are all responsible for ourselves and if we can make people's life a little happier on our journey it's time to let go of those feelings that you were not there till the end with your sister and know she wouldn't want you to carry that burdon as for Tina only you know her enough to know how she will cope without you but you can't save her either so the sooner she realises you can't be with her the sooner she might try to get some help but she may never do that just give yourself some space and accept you can't save the world but with little caring gestures you can make people happy but not Tina she knows you to well and will take advantage if your caring nature step flack for a while and see what happens you take care and look after yourself for a change

    kind wishes sue

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    • Posted

      Excellent advice Sue.  I feel so sorry for Night Owl but his kindness and patience with Tina are not appreciated or reciprocated.  He deserves better.
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    • Posted

      Hi sue hun, hopefully you are sound asleep now having very pleasant dreams? Ive been awake a while now, what a fool i was yesterday, 24 little hours indeed? I dont usually drink yet drunk i got. That in itself is bad enough but then to come on this forum is inexcusable. Still i think i needed to get it all off my chest and glad i did but the forum i chose to speak from was totally inappropriate. So i,m Sorry hun and appologise to everyone else aswell. Will take a break nxt mnth might go Phuket take the count of Monte cristo, Its the sane place and book i went/took when my sister was dying and only got to read a couple chapters. Head wasnt in it, wouldnt mind i nearly flew home once thinking about my sister but stayed in the end and got home before She passed, dont really know what was worse, get passing or me being informed by phone by a lad who used to go with my niece? Never forget it? Susans gone? Gone where? Ha. Argh well que sera sera. Thanks for your patients and advice. Appreciated.
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    • Posted

      Hi vic hun, so Sorry about yesterday, i meen, getting drunk then hitting this site is inexcusable. I appreciate your kind remarks hun, please believe me hun, i,m moving on from tina but i will still give her support where i can, there are people out there who have abused or been abused by their partner and let things end bitterly, me being the one who was abused will rise above all that ? I dont want bad feelings i,d only be hurting my self walking around with a bitter pill in my mouth. If anything ive been tauggt a lesson or two, 1) leave abusive relationship at first opportunity and Not wait 16 yrs? 2) opening a bottle of jack daniels is not the answer? Ha. Thanks again hun, your a Diamond.
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