30 years of health anxiety

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Ive had health anxiety for more than 30 years and it has in many ways ruined my life. I watched my mother die of breast cancer when I was 19 and ever since then it's almost as if I've been waiting to die myself. Some months are better than others but sometimes it's so bad I feel I'm going crazy. If someone I know has cancer I think I have it too. I have been on seroxat   for about 15 years and have in the last 6 months practically weaned myself off it and the anxiety has intensified. I don't go for tests all the time like some posters on this forum so I have no reassurance and I don't talk about it to anyone just a close friend who has the same problem. I am so sad that I have this thing which has stopped me really living my life. I have a real feeling of dread all the time which stops me feeling real happiness. I've wasted my life. At the moment my friend has been diagnosed with lung cancer and I've convinced myself ive got it too. I feel breathless and I think it's my lungs even though I go on long brisk walks with the dog and don't get out of breath. Please someone advise me as I can't go on like this. 

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  • Posted

    Hello, your story is so sad. I think personally if you suffer from anxiety in any form, you will to suffer from health anxiety. I trust you have had some sort of help via your GP or Counselling? If not, please go and get some asap. You may have had this for many many years, but it is still possible to combat this. You need to retrain your mind to think more positively rather than negatively - easier said than done I know.  You will get lots of support on this website and you are not alone.  Lots of hugs to you xx
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  • Posted

    Hi sophika, I too have the same feelings I am almost 64 and I get it, this sucks but thank God for ssri"s or I'd be in the booby hatch. Why are u going off ur drugs knowing ur anxiety is increasing . I am so sorry about ur friend and totally understand the transferance of a feeling u have the same condition as ur friend. I live a very happy productive life but as u I keep everything to myself and just worry inside myself and feel terrified at times. But I then let it go for the moment and try to move on but it is so hard as we are so old and prewired to think the way we do. I can be having a great day and immeadiatly my mind will switch to something health wise or child wise or something to worry about. If u get worried or need someone to talk to I am here. 
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  • Posted

    Thank you Anne and Kathy for your kind replies. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only person suffering in this way though I wouldn't wish this on anyone. On Monday I went with my husband and we had one of those health MOTs which check everything as I've never had my heart/lungs/stomach tested and the results come out in a week. I don't know how I'll get through the next few days. All I can think of is that I've got something terrible and I'm going to die. My hubby, on the other hand doesn't give it a moments thought.

    When all this is over I am going to see my GP. and get some help with this because I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. Kathy, I went off the drugs because they were really affecting my short term memory and I felt flat and emotionless all the time. But when I go to the GP I will ask him to ou me on something else. 

    Has anyone found an antidepressant that actually works for this condition?

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    • Posted

      Telling yourself you don't know how you will get through the next few days is a bad strategy.  Change your internal dialogue to " I will get through this".   Before coming off most antidepressants you should really understand how they work.  Most of them don't put anything in - they generally stop your brain from re-absorbing the naturally produced hormone Seratonin which is responsible for keeping your mood "Elevated".    I would strongly recommend CBT and try to stay very very positive.

       

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  • Posted

    Horrendous for you....please go to your doctor and tell everything.....a really good book to try is...

    .Thrive by Rob Kelly....or.. Mindfulness finding peace in a Frantic World by Mark Williams and Danny Penman...from Amazon...thinking of you, J

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  • Posted

    Thanks Liverpool and Judith. I'm looking into CBT and I've just bought Mindfulness finding peace... For my kindle. My tests came back and I'm ridiculously healthy but of course now I'm completely fixated on the fact that the lung one hasn't come back yet and if course that means they've found lung cancer. I'm so depressed and terrified but I can't talk to anyone about it because they'll think I'm mad. My throat is tight my chest hurts all the time and I just want to cry.
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  • Posted

    I feel for you. I am going thru a cancer scare myself. Just had a few aquaintances diagnosed and now I think I have it somewhere in my body. Had full pelvic exam since I had pain there, and they found nothing, had mammogram, had full physcial, skin check, entire blood work and all was excellent. Dr said if anything was off in blood work, then they would go further but everything is fine. There is not 1 test they can do for me to eliminate cancer everywhere in my body, so I have towork myself out of this scare. I am on effexor and klonopin for the panic attacks. I wish you the best and know you are not alone.
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