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Hi all. First a bit of background. I have been on many anti-depressants in the last 4 years since a botched op left me in severe non stop daily chronic pain. I haven't adjusted at all well to being jobless/lifeless/in pain and generally watching my world die around me whilst I'm still here to watch it. I have PTSD surrounding the event and am severely depressed.
I decided to come off anti-depressants after reading a great deal of critical papers based on their success and upon who is actually funding/producing the research for their data. And yep. It's the profit making companies that make it?!?
My other main reason is (that for me) anti-depressants have caused me SO much more problems than not being on them. They have nearly killed me with regards to suicidal thoughts and intention so enough is enough.
As a final point my GP (NHS drug dealer) has absolutely no (and I mean zero) understanding of correct titration methods and if this is the person I am entrusting my health and life to then......well that's not great is it.
So, I titrated from 30mgs at 2mgs a week. I did this to try and avoid withdrawal, sadly even this didn't. I bought some micro scales on Amazon and simply cut the pills.
My last dose of 4mgs of mirtazapine was 28 days ago now. The first week-10 days was easy, no withdrawal at all, I congratulated myself on beating this drug then boom...... INSOMNIA, and I don't mean I don't sleep great, I mean I don't sleep, max is 1-3 hours. Nausea, headaches, vomiting, hot flushes that come on in a second. Suicidal thoughts non stop and agitation like you wouldn't believe. My chronic pain symptoms have also been massively exacerbated by the stopping of the drug.
Lots of people say the patch between week 3-5 is the worst and I can 100% attest to this. I am just hoping I don't have to be like this for months as my mental and physical health from my chronic pain means I already have VERY low resilience to continue.
I have upped my magnesium, cut out ALL stimulants, am using piriton to help sleep as well as zopiclone 7.5mgs (will be detoxing this in the new year) and eating very clean.
I see lots of ppl on forums saying 'always consult your GP......or........your GP knows best; well in my 4 years of navigating the system (and having worked as a mental health professional before my botched operation I can clarify that certainly 80-90% of GP's in fact know nothing about correct Z-drug, benzo, anti-dep, SSRI or opiate withdrawals. Whatever they tell you to do, I would recommend adding 10 times the amount of time they recommend. Seriously. Dr's are rushed, highly stressed, often utterly incompetent and very often suffering from very sad, grandeous ego complex's. Take what they say with a MOUNTAIN of salt.
Anyway, I will update as my journey continues and let you know when this hell abates.
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