A random question for you

Posted , 4 users are following.

im finding it hard to work out why.............. do we think other people are thinking/looking at us the way we look at ourselves???   example like myself where i hate myself loads and automatically think others are thinking exactly the same ??????

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  • Posted

    You have severe paranoia!

    This could be due to depression or other mental health issues.

    Speak to someone,its not normal to have these thoughts.


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  • Posted

    I think it depends on how self-conscious or self-aware one is, and how intelligent one is in being able to find evidence of these pre-conceptions existing. Shyness prevents people from asking the obvious question, which is "do you have a problem with me?" but then most people can answer that without even asking another by saying to themselves:

    "nobody hates me; I just hate myself" because it's easier to shift blame. Lack of self-respect then utlimately creates a self-fulfilling prophecy where you effectively hate yourself so much that you creates this persona for people to hate as well, for whatever reason. Be it self-punishment or whatever. Humanistic psychology teaches us to take responsibility for ourselves; work out what it is about us that makes us hate ourselves so much, and in the process learn that, actually, we hate ourselves so much - usually - because we feel guilt over something or not doing more about something that happened to us in the past that we still grieve over but cannot change.

    Most events play out in our minds as though they happened yesterday but could lay in our minds dormant for weeks, months; even years. Then begins the process of letting go, and only once we let go can we move on to becoming much brighter people.

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  • Posted

    If you have a belief about yourself then you presume that everyone else must think the same.  It's difficult to change the way you think but you must look for the positive re-inforcements however small they are.  Have you tried writing a list of the things that are good about yourself ie I work really hard so I'm a good employee, I love my wife, so I'm a caring person etc etc.  And don't let any negatives creep in ie 'but I push my wife away' as they don't count - You can still put the first bit on the list as it's still true. They can even be as simple as 'I make a brilliant spaghetti bolognaise' biggrin  I found this helpful when I found it difficult to like myself.  It might take a little while to think of things but if you write it down you can then go back to it as a reminder.  And then start to keep a list of the good things that happen ie John at work said thank you becasue I'd helped with something.  It really helps to focus your mind when good things happen instead of just brushing them off and forgetting about them or not even noticing them in the first place.
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