About to Give Up on Everything, Peri is Last Straw: Am I alone?

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hi Ladies, Just wondering if I am the only one whose life is a complete failure. I entered peri a few years ago and now have a YUGE (as trump would say) fibroid. I found a great procedure for it but my insurance is calling it "investigational" even though it's been around for 15 years. And major surgery besides scaring me isn't really an option with my current job and being single. Which is the other thing. I'm 47 still single, no retirement savings or major savings, working 2 jobs, my family isn't very supportive or well off, my friends are all off in their own lives and marriages and I think, what's the point when now my health is falling apart??? How can anything get better? Why haven't I met someone by now or found a great paying job? I'm a good, kind, intelligent being. Am I just fundamentally flawed. Am I the only one? It seems like as an old therapist said to me, everyone else has at least one table leg, like a husband, or money or their health, or a good job etc. What does it say about me that I have none of these at 47 not to mention I owe more on my student loans now then I did when I graduated thanks to interest and being out of work a lot from freelancing, layoffs, the contractor economy and not being in a high-paying field. I am trying to write this crazy book but who knows if I can pull that off esp being in constant pain from the fibroid. I know I'm not living in a 3rd world country. But am I the only one ladies? Completely nowhere at 47?

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  • Posted

    Hi sakura

    You're not a failure and I can guarantee that you are no more flawed than anyone else. As for table legs, maybe you don't have that shape table! Maybe you have a modern sideboard with a solid foundation., dependable, stable.. . Why not? You're going through a tough time with peri and fibroid and it sounds like it's kicking your butt, but don't join in! You sound like a lovely person, hardworking, caring, with dreams and ambition. You'll get through this love xx

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  • Posted

    Hi, Sakura....

    First of all, you are not flawed. So stop putting that out there in the universe because thats what will come back to you. Secondly, I'm hoping that therapist meant that we all might have 1 weak leg at our tables...because we all do, nobody's is perfect...especially the folks whose tables appear to be perfect. So stop focusing on that wobbly leg.

    What I heard you say is although you have a fibroid, you're still healthy enough to work 2 jobs, blessed enough to have found 2 jobs in this economy, strong enough to make your own way without family support, and you have insurance.

    Sweetie....been where you are. I still have that fibroid. Insurance allowed me to find a great doctor who found ways around surgery , so keep looking.

    Perimenopause will make you crazy w worry, and anxieties. I'm still struggling with it at 60. Yep...peri. Have to start the count to 12 over every time. Stress from losing Mom, sis in law n two bros in law in the space of 8 months just makes my symptoms louder.

    So you are not alone, you are stronger than you think , the ladies on this forum are your family, too.

    Hugs through cyberspace...😘

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  • Posted

    No, you're defo not a failure at all, I think you sound like an amazing person... you're strength shines through in this post as you're still going - you haven't given up and you need to keep taking that approach. One day things will turn a corner for you and you'll feel better about things, until then hang in there and keep chatting to us as we're here for you. I'm also 47 and I'm a mad hormonal wreck most of the time and feel such a failure but I trudge on too... chocolate is my answer (although even that is cruel to my body and makes it bigger!)

    Sending you lots of strength and love. xx

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  • Posted

    I don't know you, but the fact that you ask yourself that and the fact that you strive to be a good person has already made you a success.

    I am so so sorry that you feel the pain you describe. I truly hope you find strength and confidence to make necessary changes in your life so you feel better about life.

    Change what you do not like and what you can! BEST wishes. Do not give up!

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  • Posted

    i agree with notsure. DONT GIVE UP! we are all right there with you and i have had some really rough days. i am trying to be thankful for the things i have.

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  • Posted

    Hi no your not the only one. If if helps I am 51 going through a divorce don't even no where I'm going to live. I have a 12 yr old daughter so I can't move far. Ontario is so expensive. I went back to school and can hardly manage working full time with all my symptoms of menopause and I have 33,000 in student loan. my anxiety is through the roof. I think when you are alone our past and guilt creep up on us. so try and stay active or listen to music. Hope your feeling better soon

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  • Posted

    Thanks ladies. You are my life lines! Sending you all hugs.

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