Advice and support badly needed

Thank you so much for your honest and helpful reply.

 It also helps that I spoke to him and he was acting completely normal (even though I acted distant and weird *sigh*).  I think it would be inappropriate for me to discuss the situation during a telephone conversation, so I guess I need to figure out what to say and do the next time I see him.  I really do feel like it would be less difficult and painful to just finish with him than to face telling him and then being rejected.  I know I shouldn't have such a defeatist attitude but honestly these last few days of agonising over the fact I could have possibly given it to him have been a living HELL, I'm also very worried that I may feel like this EVERY time we sleep together if he were to accept me and continue our relationship.

I will be sure to check out the phamplets you directed me too but I guess my next question to the forum would be to ask how best to approach this topic with him? And can you share any real life experiences of having to tell someone about this?  I've only ever needed to tell one other person before and I had known him for a fairly long time before we spoke about it.  It was one of the most emotional conversations Either of us had ever had, there were plenty of tears but it worked out ok.  

 

Well, I've only disclosed once and it was to an old flame, that was never anything serious, I did it in all the wrong ways and balled my eyes out, because ibwas only 5 months into my diagnosis at the time and hadn't completely accepted it. We didn't talk much more about it after that, because I was balling my eyes out and said I just couldn't do it and then we stopped talking. We started talking again last month I bought it up again, but through text. I stated that there is always risk that I could pass it to him, although small and is he sure this is something he wants to deal w. Then I sent him the small fact sheet w the statistics and based on using protection, meds or nothing at all. He said OK, well it's a small chance right? I said yes, but are you sure you want to deal w the fact that sex may not be spontaneous all the time and he said he was fine w that and there were always other ways of pleasing one another. I asked how would he feel in the event that he got it, would he resent me and he said no, because he took the risk and knew the facts.

That's all I have, but there are other's on here and I can request a guy to comment on this thread, who found out from someone else that the girl he was dating had herpes and hadn't told him yet. He was very accepting of it and is still w her. He wasn't even mad at her. He felt bad for her and how scary it must feel to have to disclose to someone. I've also seen where people were mad.

On that site, there are similar stories to yours and there is an area specifically for success stories. There is a video on disclosure on that site too.

I think you need to just sit him dkwn and state that there's been a reason you've been avoiding him and it's not him, it's because of you. That there is something that you have to share w him that is very hard to share and because he means so much to you and you feel so terrible about it, that you didn't know how to tell him, because you made a very big mistake and got caught up in the moment.

Then explain that you have herpes, show him the statistical pamphlet and explain that you are on antivirals and you weren't experiencing any signs or symptoms and his risk was 2% or lower. Do not tell him about your current OB, you will only freak him out and it is likely unnecessary anyway. I tell people in a relationship w someone to not tell every time something pops up shortly after sex, because sex can be a trigger for it, doesn't mean it was present during the act it self and you'll just create unnecessary stress every time. If they get it, they'll know and I'd they get it and don't have symptoms, then that can be addressed when the relationship ends and they can get tested.

Explain how you are so sorry and be completely vulnerable about the fact that you felt so much guilt about this, you were thinking about just letting him go, but you love him so much and he means so much, you just couldn't do that and you deserved to know the truth.

I think he may be angry, but if he really cares, he's not going anywhere. When will you see him? I think the sooner you get it over w, the better in this situation; either wise you're going to just let fear and anxiety continue to eat at you and create more distance between you two.

Thanks again for being so honest and open with me.  I had a look at the website you suggested but I didn't find it very easy to find any of the sections you mentioned.  Everything required either an email sign up or payment ($250!! for some ebooks!), so sadly I wasn't able to find any extra info over there.  But not to worry the info you have given here has both given me food for thought and a little bit of comfort.  

Currently my guy is going through some personal issues of his own so there's not much chance of meeting up in the coming days, but I'm kind of glad about that as it gives me time to consider all the options and what approach to take.  I'm still running everything over in my mind and slightly fretting that he may have caught it.  Another thing that I've tried to take in to consideration is what I would do if I was in his shoes......

I keep thinking back to the guy who gave it to me and asking myself if he had have been honest and told me he had H, would I have accepted him and carried on the relationship? In all honesty I really really don't know.  Of course I would have been grateful to be told and emphatic about the situation but I'm just not sure wether I would have stuck with him or not and I almost feel cruel forcing my new guy to have to make that decision because it's a bit of a "dammed if you do, dammed if you don't" type situation.  When I say dammed, I don't mean having H is the end of the world, but it's something to "deal with", that you never signed up for in the beginning.  I still keep thinking that because I really care about him it will be easier for us both in the long run to just go our separate ways then he won't have to spend his time worrying if he has got it or if it's ok to touch me and I won't have to worry about giving it to him or him one day leaving me.  Being alone is not a fulfilling lifestyle choice but it seems much easier than watching the person you love suffer.........

 

I'm not sure what you're looking at, but it's rather easy to find your way around. It's definitely worth creating an account on there. I'll send you a pm w my personal email and I can email them to you directly.

Again you're putting the cart before the horse. You have got to stop thinking about all the what ifs, or you're going to drive yourself insane.

You said your ex accepted you. Did you ever pass it to him? I have several friends that have never passed it to their partners. It's much harder for a female to pass to a male, than the other way around. That's why statistics are, 1 in 4 women have genital herpes and 1 in 8 men do.

So sorry Liz he did that to you and I hope things go well when you guys me to discuss. When will that be? Let me know how it goes and good luck! You deserve to be treated well and good on you for disclosing, I know it's not easy.

I can't thank you both enough for the support, honestly it really makes such a difference to know you are not alone in this situation.  

For Liz, would you mind telling me about when you disclosed? What did you say and how did he take it? As you read above, I have told one other person and it was REALLY difficult, but made easier because I knew the guy really well......this time is going to be a hell of a lot more difficult because I've absolutely no idea how he is going to react!  Also, how did your talk go?  I hope it worked out well.......

 

I'm always here for you, I too find talking makes me feel better and I learn something new each time :-) Knowledge is power.

I disclosed after I knew there was a connection, he was talking sex, what he wanted to do to me, etc. And I felt the same, so many things I wanted to do do him, wanted it just as  much as he did.  I went by everything I read on line but was unable to meet at a neutral place, he had planned dinner at his house, but I asked to met earlier in day to discuss but him having kids was the problem, no time to meet me.  So I went to his house, we sat on couch, he was very touchy of course, no clue what was coming, (killing me the whole time) I wanted to rip his clothes off instead, but instead explained my background of how I got it and said it. Killed me to say it, b/c I care deepily about him.

I can remember exactly, He sat staring straight ahead, saying nothing, then reached over touched my leg, (that meant the world to me) and said 'we would figure it out as we went along.'  I asked 2 or 3 times, we should wait, or are you sure, that kind of stuff, then said he was sure, wanted to make love to me for 1st time, we did.....I felt so at ease with him, loved every minute of it.......and dont regret making love to him  even though he might.  (great sex too) next am I left, then 2 weeks of complete silence, killer silence in my book.

After 2 weeks, I recd text from him, 'I hope all is well.' not the kind of text you expect after making love but I wrote back and asked if we could met for a drink and talk, he responded YES. I couldnt do this via text, and hoped he was the kind of person who couldnt either and looks like he is so far.

So here we are this weekend, we are meeting Sat in the park, neutral place, ironic, b/c that"s where I wanted to talk in the beginning.  He hasnt asked any questions so sure he as seen all the negative about H, but the stats are there, so do you run from someone who is open, honest and cares about you for the unknown future person who is most likely NOT to tell the truth and be honest with you.....You will not find 100% perfect person out there, they dont exist

You and I will both find unconditional love, need to love us not it! We didnt change, still the same person we were before :-)

xoxoxox 

 

Thanks for sharing Liz, especially since I've not been in a sexual relationship since I got it, although I did disclose to one person. He just isn't right for me.

The same site I recommend to her you should join if you haven't already and print out the pamphlet for disclosure and has statistic risks based on sex 3xs a yr and type of protection or no protection. I think that will help him ease his mind. Good luck to both of you and both of you keep me updated. I look forward to hearing good news for you both. You both can do this and hang in there!

I should have mentioned, I did show up at house house with pamphlets/printed materials but he didnt care to look at any or even keep, think he was in shock at the moment.  Said he would google it.

And yes, at your reommendation, I had joined the other website, H opportunity too, I find all very helpful.

So nervous about tomorrow, can hardly function, but taking deep breaths, one day at a time.

So you brought those pamphlets from the site? If not, bring them w you again. They are correct information.

I have now just had another OB right after having one clearing up. Lack of sleep and stress is getting the best of me. Ugh.

Don't worry, you can do this! I'll say a prayer for you!

Sorry about your OB, sleep and less stress for all of us......I should take my own advice, its 3am and I'm up typing

I think in that scenario, you just say that you want to slow down, because you two haven't seen one another or spoken much since then and you want to make absolute sure, he's OK w everything. Plus, you can always say that all the stress of this, made symptoms flare and I'd rather be safe, than sorry. W that said, there's plenty I can do, to make it special for you and take care of you.

Why do you think he's done? Maybe he's pulled away, because you were being distant too and he doesn't want to get hurt. In aans mind, he can translate that as, sex was bad for you and/or you think he's too small and that's the reason for your distance and that's a massive go blow. I've gone distant before in the past, due to sex being really bad w someone I had lots of chemistry w, just apparently not in the bedroom. It really was a blow to his ego... This is why i said not to be distant w him anymore, because he may take it wrong and pull back.

Listen, we all make mistakes and it's OK. Forgive yourself. The difference between you and what I've seen others do, is their uttwr lack of remorea and how nonchalant they were about it. Those are not good people, you are a good person. Be kind to yourself.

In regards to him having symptoms, I doubt that's what's going on. When I had symptoms 3 days later, the first thing I did was contact my giver, before I was even diagnosed.

When's the last time you heard from him and what did he say?

Feelbroken, I know I can only make wild assumptions right now, without knowing what what's really going on, but I highly doubt that he has pulled away due to his ego being hurt because the sex was really GOOD, and he knows it was, I told him and also I know the connection was there. 

I was acting kind of distant and quiet towards him but I did respond to him, albeit not as enthusiastic or my normal bubbly self, but none the less I didn't completely ignore him, which is what he is doing to me now. I've texted him to ask how he is doing and how his day is going and I've heard nothing back for 2 days now.  The last time I heard from him was on Wednesday afternoon and he was fairly normal, just telling me what he's doing and looking forward to seeing me again......since then nothing, and we spoke at least a couple of times a day before. 

I know there's only a slim chance that he caught it but that's enough for me to lose sleep.  When you contacted your giver what did you say? And how were you certain it was him? I've read stories of people not showing symptoms until years after getting it.  That's kind of my concern with my guy too, that if he has caught it he may be confused about where he got it from and what to do because he was sexually active before he slept with me, whereas he knew and it was also apparent that I had not been sexually  active for a pretty long time before him.

So my point is, if he did have symptoms he may not assume that I gave it to him.  I hate to think he may be going through all the torment alone.....the pain, itching, feeling "dirty", the bad thoughts all alone.  When I contracted H, the guy was an ass*ole for not telling me but at least I didn't have to sit and wonder where I got it from and handle it alone.

 

Yes, but you pulled away after sex and he doesn't know why. Think about it if you were in his shoes, you'd make assumptions too if they pulled away like you did. Even if it was good, your behavior after gave an impression you weren't into him or maybe it was sex. Remember, you're trying to think for him as a woman and we do not think the same way as men do. He may assume you lost interest, so he's not sure what to do. Normally I tend to not give people the benefit of the doubt and jump to the worst conclusions, so this is a rarity for me. I think it's much deeper than you realize. Remember, actions speak louder than words, so it doesn't matter that you told him, you didn't show him. Men go by actions.

Regardless of what men like to say, they play games more than women do and he may be kind of making you pay and wanting to see you chase. Alas, just stop responding and see if he reaches out. Trust me, I suck at this stuff too. This is why I don't have the energy to date. I don't have it in me to deal w trying to figure out if someone is playing games w me. Lol.

I was certain it was him, because I hadn't had sex for two yrs and had been tested for herpes. Also, I had a horrendous OB. My blood test came back negative a week after infection, but my culture was positive. That means it's a brand new infection, because I had not built antibodies yet. I responded aggressively to him, because I know he knew, as we has the talk before sex and there were things he said that should have been red flags for me. He told me to never contact him again, even after I said that I had an appt in a couple of days and would let them know what he said. That is not the reaction of an Innocent person or someone unaware they're a carrier. Seen this all too much.

For all you know, this guy has it. Trust me, nobody goes silent I'd they've only slept w one person recently and is having symptoms. I know people who broke out months or yrs later after infection and they don't have horrific obs like had for my primary. I had neuropathy so severe, I felt like a burn victim and had to be put on anticonvulsants. I also counted 22 sores/bumps at one point and I got very ill. People who have been harboring it, don't have that reaction. I took my blood test 3 months later after infection and that time it came up positive. It takes 3-4 months to build antibodies and in rarer cases, 6 months.

If you're worries about him having got it and being distant because he has recently been sexually active w others (which you need to go get tested yourself because of that and not using condoms), then I'd text him asking he give you a call, because you have something very important to tell him.

Ladies, you have been busy without me lol

So   let me catch up, I agree with Feelbroken, that you are jumping ahead, your actions speak louder than words, be the same you, dont change, you are still the same person and let him see that.

My example to you......so today is the day I meet my guy (3pm) in the park, neutral place of course......I plan on wearing a cute sun dress, ......b/c I know he likes dresses,......I'm doing what I would normally do, be flirty with the guy I like, I havent changed and nor should you.

xoxoxoxo hugs to you both

Good luck girly! Said a prayer for you! Hang in there, you got this!

Well, ladies, I won't be one of the sucess stories this time :-(  But have to say he could have been the nicest, most respectful man about it.

We met in the park, I brought a blanket, water (hot day) and wine. Started with water, then the entire bottle of wine.  We sat and talked for about 1 hr and I kept wondering when he would get to it, he was some what flirty so I couldnt tell what was going thru his head but guessed it wasnt good since we were sitting in the park.

Then he asked for my hand to hold, I gave it to him, and then those words, " think it best if we be friends.'   said from everything he read on line, he couldnt continue b/c of sex, he likes to go down on a girl unprotected, actually loves it he said, and cant have sex/relationship without that.

Then Like right on cue, it started lightening so we ran for shelter into closest place which was bar/restaurant, he said lets get somethhing to eat so we did.  He asked to be friends, told me I could call or text him anytime for a drink or to get together.  I told him I couldnt do that, he says I could, and repeatly said I could during food.

Told him he crossed the line when he had sex with me, and I couldnt look at him the same over a drink again.  Told me in time I would. ha the time word again, now I needed time to be friends? definitely nope.

I will not call him for a drink, and made it clear to him, told him we both would go on and find relationships, and having ex's in my picture wasnt possible.

I cried all the way home, a really good caring, thoughtful guy to take the time to be aware of my feelings and give me closure.  I'm sure after the tears have cleared I will ok again.   I came home, as tears stream down my face, I downloaded pics to line dating, b/c I dont want to have any pitty parties for myself, which I will try to avoid.

A breakup over H seems worse than just a regular breakup, sorry to say.

 

I'm worried about you, let me hear from you please. xoxoxox

Hi Liz, I'm sorry things didn't go as well as we all hoped, and I know it must be upsetting, but like you said, at least he was kind and considerate about things.  From your story it sounds like he was really sweet about thing.  The term he didn't reject you, he rejected the H is quite appropriate in your situation and I think it's quite a good way to look at things.  I said in a previous post that all I could really hope is that a guy would consider me and not run for the hills, so I guess you are lucky in that regard.  And good for you for being proactive and getting back on the dating scene! 

For me, it's crunch time.  After all the messing around from both of us (being distant, not calling/responding to texts, etc), we spoke last night and both sincerely confessed to desperately missing each other.  He wants to see me later today and have dinner together.  Of course I'm super nervous because I think today needs to be the day we have "the talk", but I feel much better than I did last week because my ob is mostly gone and my anxiety has died down a bit.  Maybe I'm just paranoid but he did say something on the phone that made me wonder if he did catch H or even has it already - he said (jokingly) that he won't be making love to me again for at least a week because I've been mean to him and now I should be punished.  We both laughed and he made it sound silly, however, I was thinking if he really were to enforce that, maybe it's really because he's having an ob and has managed to turn it in to a "jokey" thing that allows him to avoid sex.  He also mentioned that when he was calling me throughout the week it WASNT for sex and he just wanted to hang out with me, I found it strange that he would say that because I wouldn't assume he was calling me to have sex, our relationship so far really has not been based on sexual desire. Perhaps I'm thinking too much in to it but I can't help myself. 

So anyway, today is probably the day I tell him.  I say probably because I kind of need to time it right, I don't want to prolong it any longer, but I also don't want to blurt it out inappropriately.  Goodness me, it's such a difficult thing to talk about, I really admire you Liz for dealing with it head on..... I've absolutely no idea how he will take it, all I can hope is that he doesn't say "ewww" and "taxi!" Lol. 

 

Cherryviolet, I know it is killing you right now b/c I know I'm strong, but it killed me before I had the talk, and after the talk, so be tough gf, it won't be easy but you have me as a friend for life, so just always reach out if need to talk.

I will say meeting in the restaurant, would not be my choice place.  I could barely do it at his place, just he and I so can't imagine a crowded restaurant with servers stopping at your table interrupting you.  My park yesterday was perfect for after talk and would have been perfect for before talk too, ......but after the rain yesterday when we went inside to restaurant, found ourself pausing all the time to complete sentences bc server kept coming by.  so just saying.......

just ask yourself, where you would be most comfortable, and go there.  And I would make today the day, I feel less stress since we met yesterday and now doing everything to get him off my mind, keeping busy so I stop replaying the talk in my mind.  Why do we do that......

And I hate to say, but I wouldnt read anything into his comments.  I've actually had guys say that to me (pre H) about no sex, I think its their way of joking that you are making them wait. lol  I truly think he likes you, if he just wanted sex, would have run by now.  so yes, dont read anything into his comments, just remember to be yourself, thats the reason he likes you, dont change you, heck, I wore a dress to the park yesterday b/c my guys likes dresses so I didnt change, doing what I would normally do and you do it too.!!!! :-)  

I'm here anything, write away, deep breaths!!!!! 

Thanks Liz, your support is a real godsend!  I'm just so scared everything will be ruined once I tell him.  I have no problems meeting guys but this guy is the only guy I've deemed "worthy" of telling, in a very long time.  I didn't see any long term future with any of the other guys I've dated so I didn't take things any further. My guy has made throwaway comments about being scared of stds and I just can't get those out of my mind, I guess we are all worried about stds but the fact he has voiced it make this just a tad more difficult to discuss.  I know it's super unrealistic but I would be quite happy if we didn't have to talk about it and just stayed together and not have any sex!  Even though sex is nice and whatever, for me, the joy is removed when in the back of your mind you're worried about your partner catching H.  Also, let's say he was impotent or something and his bits didn't work correctly, I would not leave him, and that's because at this age (I'm 37 and he is 40, but both very young looking and acting) I really don't think sex is or should be the foundation of any relationship.  We aren't kids, we don't need to be at it like rabbits!  Sorry, I'm kind of just fantasising there, thinking of situations where the talk can be avoided..... I don't think I've ever dreaded saying something as much as I do right now.  Another thing that really bothers me is if I tell him and he tells anyone else, gossip travels fast in the community I live in and I would be mortified if everyone knew.  I can only have faith that he wouldn't do that even if he decides not to continue our relationship.

 

Oh and about dinner, we aren't going to a restaurant, we are going to cook together at his place this evening.  It's something we have done a few times and it's been really cute and great for bonding.  The first night we cooked at his and he only had one plate! (Lol!), and we ended up sitting on the living room floor with our legs crossed sharing from this one plate, silently eating like 2 squirrels, and it was just the cutest thing, it was that night that I looked at him and thought I can really love this man.

 I know he doesn't just want me for sex, we have spent so much time together and I have never felt pressured to have sex with him, but the problem is now we have done it he is sure to expect it to happen again, it would be weird for it not to.  But talk or no talk, sex is the last thing I want right now as I feel extremely unsexy.  

Sorry, my post is rambling, I just have so many thoughts in my head today.  Thanks for being there to talk to.

 

So glad to hear you are not at a restaurant, but home is good. You must be strong thru this, b/c if they see weakness, uncertainity, scared, etc, than they will be too. And quicker to not listen, talk and thhink about this.

I read something about how your chances of getting in a car wreck are 1.8% annually and if used condoms and you meds, and no sex duriing ob, chances are 1%, not sure if 100% accurate, got it from the H opportunity so typically good website...... but ppl never think of it in those terms,  you and I do now, gave me a new perspective again.

This won't be easy but try not to think of all the good times, makes it harder, b/c you want the good times to continue, I did same thing, Better not do.

Be positive, straight forwaard, and you will do fine.  I felt just like you, finally someone I could see myself with long term tis why it makes it harder, we care.

xoxoxoxo hugs

You have HSV 2 Right? He can't get that orally.. This is the problem w them doing their own research, they don't understand the differences between the viruses...

I am so sorry. I wish I could be there to hug you. Don't worry honey, you will find the right guy that will accept you for it all.

I went out w one of my gfs last night, we're newer friends and we were talking about animals and she says: ewww.... They have herpes, in regards to one of the animals. I pondered for a few seconds telling her I have it and then educating her or just educating her on it. I don't take it personally, because I realize that people who don't have it and have been married a long time, feel they are so far removed from ever getting it and know nothing about it, but it does show me how much people feel this way.

so yes I have 2, guess i read wrong too, so get cant get it uf gors diwn of me???

do you have link to it so u can aend him?

I sent it to you in private message, because otherwise the moderators block links on here, until they approve it.

Checking in on you Cherryviolet?  you ok? xoxo Hugs

I'm ok thanks Liz, how are you doing?.  Still haven't told him, gosh I'm such a wimp!  I've seen him a couple of times but neither time felt like a good time to kill the mood with the dreaded "talk".  I'm know I'm just procrastinating and I HAVE to tell him but my heart breaks even to think about bringing it up.  When I look in his eyes I just chicken out because I can tell that he really loves me and I feel the same.  It's like I just don't want to let the moment slip away, selfish I know.  Although I would not dream of sleeping with him now without telling him, he doesn't try, he makes it clear that he's not too bothered about sex.  The irony of it all is that there's a very good chance that he will accept me because he is really understanding about most things.  But even if he did accept me, I guess I also don't want to change the dynamics of the relationship, I don't want a pity party or for him to feel like he's doing his bit for charity by being with me.  Sometimes it felt a bit like that with my ex, he never said anything mean but occasionally I would get the impression that he felt like I should be grateful to have him because of my condition.  I mean I was grateful to have him, but NOT because of my condition.  I don't want my H situation to make me the lesser person in the relationship.     I even tried to break up with my guy, I was having some kind of panic and (quite pathetically) told him that perhaps we weren't suitable and he could probably do better.  He wasn't having any of it, he point blank told me that there's no way we are breaking up for such stupid reasons and he will not leave me under any circumstances. I'm not doing myself any favours with all this nonsense, self sabotage is starting to spring to mind, maybe it would be easier if I wasn't in love with him.  I absolutely will tell him, I have no other options, but just the thought of him saying "no thanks" is enough to make me cry.  Every day that goes by and I clench my teeth and think is today the day I tell him, I also die a little inside thinking it could also be the last time I see or speak to him.  

How are you feeling now Liz?  I'm guessing that each day that goes by makes things easier to deal with.  How is the online dating going?  Have you met anyone interesting yet?  Did you join a regular dating site or a specialist one for people with H? I have thought about trying a H dating website but I'm too shy to put a photo on my profile so I figured it could be a waste of time.  Please let me know how you are getting on, no matter the outcome of my situation I'll still be here.......

 

So glad to hear from you, glad you are ok, and I assumed you didnt tell him since I didnt hear from you right away.  Guess I'm getting you to know, that's what friends are for though :-)

I have to play devils advocate, and say, the longer you wait, he might feel bbetrayed that you didnt tell him sooner, that trust issue.  Yes, he wont want to hear it, but will respect you more for telling him .

You can do gf, telling him outweighs not telling him b/c so much more to gain by telling. less stress, you know which direction to move, and not wasting your time.

I'm actually doing great. I realize that he was not meant for me, I want someone who is not judgemental, and gives unconditional love.  I went on a website one time but like you, no nerve to post my pic.  Already had 2 conversations on the phone, another expected this week, and all want to meet so getting back to myself.

I told feelbroken the other day, by the time to get to reject #6 I will be old hat at this and wont even think twice.  LOL  #1 broke me last weekend, nearly killed me but made me so much stronger than I could ever imagine afterwards.  Not sure how that happened but it did.

I think you should find a park, somewhere neutral, so less emotion going on, it actually recommends it on line and I do too.  Worked great for me in the park, somewhere no memories, and get it out in first 5 minutes or it just gets tougher.

Hang in there, xoxoxoxox

Emis Moderator comment: I have removed the dating website name as we do not allow posting of these in the forums. If users wish to exchange these details please use the Private Message service.

http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398331-private-messages

Oh no, my post got moderated, bare with me and it will be posted I'm sure, says same day or next :-(