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Advice needed

Posted , 6 users are following.

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Ok so the last 5 years of my life in small....

Met a bloke, was warned off by many ppl that he was bad news but I fell for him..

He then used me for sex and then ignored me until he wanted to use me again. Stupidly I let him hoping he would want me..

Fell pregnant, he left me was pretty nasty towards me flicked fag in my face tore scan picture up in front of me abusive texts about how he would love to break my nose blah blah

I then went into bad depression and bled through out pregnancy which I might add he did not once come and to hospital to see the baby was ok and I hadn't lost it.

Rest of pregnancy I found out he was sleeping with his ex again which made me feel awful,

His family begged me to have him at birth I agreed and always loved him so felt awful having him there he sat there striking my hand the hole labour,

Next day he took my baby in car seat and walked to car leaving me to walk on my own, he dropped me home n left us. When baby was 6 weeks he came and got abusive and police was called n did nothing.

When she was 6 months I got back together with him hoping for a perfect family , stupid I no.

He left me n came back and forth for the next few years.

I'm a mess now and I don't no what to do ? Stay with him or just get rid?

I can't have friends or go to work I feel isolated, my family don't like him. He won't go to any family does but I have to go to his there's no commitment 4 years down line, says he will move him and it never happens. I'm so confused I don't want him with anyone else

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43 Replies

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  • tess33005
    tess33005 Numb

    Posted

    , physical,

    He'a abusive in many ways, including emotional, physically and mentally.

    This  man is not worth pursuing. He's also controlling and making you frightened.

    Back off, please. Ignore his texts and don't believe him when he comes crawling back, promising that he's sorry and he won't do it again. They all say that but it is just a method of getting you under his power again.

    Be brave and strong and send this man packing. Your focus has to be on your baby.

    Both you and the baby will have your lives ruined if you take him back.

    Absolutely nobody on this site has told you that theere's hope. All of us have made it clear that you need to finifsh things with him - and get the CSA to make him pay a good level of Child Support.

    Your self-esteem is almost non-existent at the moment. Start to take control of your life.            lots of love from Tess

  • Numb
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    Posted

    Ok so he's walked out on us again about an hour ago I have no idea why but he left when I walked up stairs. I'm going to be strong and not text him. rolleyes
    • tess33005
      tess33005 Numb

      Posted

      Good! You don't need this man at all. Stick with your decision not to text him.

      Keep us posted, please.

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      Numb tess33005

      Posted

      I will stick to it. I'll let u no. Thank you for all your support it really does help xx
    • tess33005
      tess33005 Numb

      Posted

      I'm happy that you've reached the right decision. You've changed your mind-set over the last few days. \things can only get better.
  • gill16647
    gill16647 Numb

    Posted

    Keep being strong ...... You owe him nothing he has let you down repeatedly. It will get easier in time. Don't text or call him. You deserve better and will get it in time.Xx
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      Numb gill16647

      Posted

      I won't text him but I no that's what he's expecting me to do as that's what I always do. And on times I haven't text n tried to stay strong I get blamed for not bothering .. It's like a cycle, a routine that's so hard to break from. I will stay strong n try I no it will b hard n that's what I don't look forward to X
    • tess33005
      tess33005 Numb

      Posted

      He has no right to blame you 'for not bothering'.

      You have every right to lead a peaceful life, without this controlling man in your life.

  • joshua_53214
    joshua_53214 Numb

    Posted

    You want the straight forward answer? What would you do if it was your kid? Going thought this!. Open your eyes stop being a mug!!. If you wanna live your life in this you will! Only u can fix this! Why would you wanna be with a man like that? Yet have a have a kid to him!! You need a Kick up the arse wake up think about you little one) do the right thing or stay there look back a s kick yourself it's your choice)
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      Numb joshua_53214

      Posted

      Thanks I think I needed that rolleyes I am a mug I think maybe I'm just in a 'routine' Coz happens so often. Starting to wonder what it would be like to be happy. The future scares the poop outa me . Thank you u make a lot of sense
    • tess33005
      tess33005 Numb

      Posted

      Hi, my love,

      I went through an abusive relationship for ten years. Every time he hit me he'd say he wouldn't do it again. But he did. Many, many times.

      Finally, after leaving him then coming back, only for the whole cycle of abuse to start again, I realised that what was happening to our two young children would damage them. So I moved out, with the children, to my sister's. Needless to say I was bombarded with phone calls saying he wouldn't do it again. I ignored him. Then he sent £1000 to me! Like money could buy me back!!!!!

      I used the £1000 to pay for a divorce lawyer.

      That was many, many years ago. He never sent any child support, he broke into my house and raped me, and also beat up my new boyfriend, who nearly lost an eye.

      He never bothers to make any contact with the children.

      Don't let this happen to you!    love Tess

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      Numb tess33005

      Posted

      Oh my god that made my hole body go cold! That's awful so awful sad thank god your away from him now. You seem very strong with a good head on your shoulders. Thank god u came out of it ok and your kids as well. I would never want that to happen to me your right.

      My situation is different but I no what your saying and your so right X

    • tess33005
      tess33005 Numb

      Posted

      Hi did once take the children to see his mother. They were on the motorway and he suddenly exploded in rage, pulled up on the hard shoulder and pulled them out of the car. He then drove off, leaving them injured, crying and penniless in the middle of nowhere. They were aged 9 and 7 by then. Somehow they climbed down the embankment and walked to a village. (This was in the days before mobile phones.)

      They found the station and the ticket man phoned me. I was utterly horrified and quickly gave the ticket man the money with my bank card, so they could get home. The ticket man said he'd make sure they'd get on the right train and told me when it would arrive, so that I could meet them. I never let him near them again, needless to say.

      Eventually I met a lovely man who has been my husband for years, now. He showed me that there were good men in the world. Actually, he's cooking us a roast dinner right now. Do the right thing, my love. XXXX

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      Numb tess33005

      Posted

      He sounds like a right beep .

      Made me cold again.

      Your poor kids.

      I'm so glad u have met a decent man now, did u ever feel like u never would? Like you'd be alone for ever?

      Why r some ppl like that why can't they just be normal. Thinking about the time I've lost depresses me. Life's so short. Xx

    • tess33005
      tess33005 Numb

      Posted

      Yes, I did feel that I was too old to meet a decent man. But I was wrong. Sometimes we just have to be positive and wait for the good things to happen.

      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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      Numb tess33005

      Posted

      I'll try so hard to stay positive tess. Keeps making my belly go funny xxx
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