Advice... Please?

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hey guys. Some part of me has realized that maybe my boyfriend and I can't work out. I don't want to break up though. I just can't get happy no matter what I do. Everything feels like a huge strain. I just feel so shattered. I promised myself I'd work hard but now even just getting some supper seems too hard to do. It's like I'd rather starve than move at all. All I want to do is just be with my boyfriend and cuddle with him because, I feel more secure. I've been through far too much with him and he means too much to me to call it quits. Hell, I typically never pray to god but here I am, friggin begging for help. My raw emotions for him are the only thing keeping me to him because, god dammit, I don't want him to be my ex or my first boyfriend. I want him to remain with me for life but.... I can't seem to make myself happy again. I'm just so burnt out on everything. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I don't even know if I can get my grades back up in school. I usually don't believe in suicide but this is the first time I've toyed with it in my head and not actually shove it out immediately like normal. I feel so empty inside. You know, when I came into this relationship, I had no idea that a relationship could be hard. I had no idea what a struggle it could potentially be. I've never been on such an emotional roller coaster before. I had this picture perfect fairy tale idea that we'd fall in love and live happilly ever after. I thought you could do everything together and nothing would ever get old. I never knew that you could actually get tired or even get annoyed with the one you love. That realization had me in the dumps for awhile. However, his good qualities outweigh the bad and he takes very good care of me and does his best to comfort me in the worst times. He's always been there for me. I can't let him go but I just feel so hopeless. It doesn't help that my family blames him for my unhappiness. I think my anxiety and depression really kicked up when I went into this relationship with him. To think... we started out so simple and innocent.

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  • Posted

    Hey

    Sorry to hear your having a hard time,Its clear that you love your boyfriend,have you been together long?Sometimes people know deep down that things are coming to a end in a relationship but find it hard to admit as its routine,we get used to spending a lot of time with this one person,like you said we go through many things together and it seems nothing can ever be different ever again as this is life. Im not saying that this is how it is for you on you and your boyfriend, only you truly know how you feel and you seem to be stuck right in the middle or the two.

    Does he know how you are feeling at the moment? You sounds very sad and seems to have a lot on your mind with school work and its also very hard when your family blame a partner because at the end of the day you love him and its natural you would want it to all be perfect with them liking him, could you maybe speak to one of your teachers about how you are feeling if not your boyfriend or a family member?

    I understand about the suicide thoughts up until recently i would never have thought i could ever feel like that, but i felt myself making a back up plan incase everything went wrong,Its hard,  ive spoken to my husband about everything and we went to the drs and got the help i needed i know i never do anything like that but when your dealing this way you cant help it....

    i defiently think that you need to tak to somebody and could take them with you to speak to a Dr, they will understand and will be able to help you with a plan to helping you think clearer and feel better.

    If you cant talk to anyone at home then there is always a lot of us on here,we will always write back  : ]

    Feel better soon

    Stacey x

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    • Posted

      My boyfriend knows how I feel. Now, I don't want to give up on him. I want to stay with him more than anything. More than anything, I want to love him without feeling this anxiety. He's doing what he can to make me happy but right now, nothing really can. He and I communicate well. I can't keep things from him no matter what I do. I know I can be happy with him but I haven't been able to relax. I haven't been able to do anything for myself. Showering has even began to feel like such a huge chore. I can't do anything without thinking of him. I'm so scared. I don't want to end it. I don't want to take the easy way out of this. I want to stay with him. Thoughts of losing him triggers my anxiety. I don't want to lose him. I want to be happy with him. He's the best man I could ever ask for.

      I'm on medication and I am talking to the counselor. I just want to keep going with my relationship with him. He means the world to me.

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  • Posted

    It may well be that you are struggling with anxiety or depression.

    Have you been to see your doctor about this?

    I must say that you do sound quite young, and as such the complications that life can present can at first be extremely daunting.

    It isn't easy, and there there are not many people who would describe life as a fairytale existence.

    Feeling the way you do is not an excuse to consider harming yourself because that would solve nothing at all.

    If you were to do something drastic like that can you imagine the effect that would have on your family and your boyfriend - it could destroy them?

    Life as such is a learning curve, and each stage we learn a little more and become much stronger as a result of it.

    There are occasions when everything can become too much for us, and we can unexpectely fall ill with any one of many psychological illnesses.

    This is why I have suggested that you should visit your doctor as a precaution and tell him/her exactly how you feel.

    At best you will be told that you are going through a stressful time at the moment so it can be expected for you not to be 100%, and at worst your doctor might say that you need a little help.

    Whichever way it goes you personally can only benefit from it.

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  • Posted

    I know what you are going through and understand how you feel

    You must start believing yourself and not think you are not worthy of the love your boyfriend has for you which is causing some of you problem. Be positive and think about tomorrow. If you fear the break up you must ask yourself why you feel this way. I ask you to seek counselling so you may find the route cause and they do help you understand and then you can deal with it. It worked for me and I'm sure for many orher people. Don't give up and listen to those who care because the answer is with you and you need help to get to it

    Remember the good points and put them first not the bad.

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