Advice please

Posted , 3 users are following.

This is going to be long and I appreciate anyone who has advice I have severe anxiety and depression

Anyway 8 month ago I was in such a good place happy relationship got a beautiful little girl and I was working, then my relationship started to have problems we have been through a lot and it ended I then found out I was pregnant which was such a shock and my anxiety started really bad the dad was been daft saying he wanted a dna because we broke up etc baby is he's!

Anyway I then had to go on sick leave from work because I was so bad with anxiety I couldn't leave the house and I couldn't return Dr's can't give me much because I'm pregnant I've literally been so many times and had no result everyday is scary for me

I can't live at home now because I'm that scared to be alone I'm 6 month pregnant now and I'm living with my mam I'm still having problems with my ex I really do love him but I don't really think I was happy he wants the best of partners and was very selfish

Every I have a new pain and it's scaring me but I'm getting by for my daughter even though it's hard my family just want me to get better basically I want to know if anyone else has had anxiety whilst pregnant and did it go when baby was born? I want to be at my own house with my little girl and wait for our new arrival to come I don't know what I want with my ex he seems happy enough to walk away and it annoys me but at the same time I don't think I want I want him how do you know what you want really it's frustrating!!! I want to be back at work after the baby and back to me but will I ever be me again? Can pregnancy make anxiety worse? I've had it all my life but never like this I didn't have it with my first baby but I'm a lot more scared this time round because I never expected to have a baby so close to my little girl 2 year gap they will be I'm only 21 I've also lost two babies before my girl and lost family members the last few year so I haven't had the best of times but I always think this isn't anxiety and I think I'm ill but before I found out I was pregnant I was fine I was me could my pregnancy be the reason I am the way I am? When he's born will it go?

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  • Posted

    Hi hun just wanted to say I really feel for you, sounds like you are having a rough time.

    Feel like there is so much I could say to you however I havent got long.

    I definately think that hormones may be a contribution.  I have suffered from depression and anxiety for over 20 years and when I have PMT it makes me worse - it even flares up my OCD.  When I was pregnant (16 years ago) my mood was most definately affected.

    As you say medication is not really an option when preggers (under some circumstances you can take fluoxetine, I have recently checked as I am on another antidepressant and have just got re-married and am considering another baby).  I think you need to take a breath and be kind to yourself.  You are going through a lot - even people who dont suffer with mental health issues wouls struggle with a 2 year old and being pregnant.

    Sounds like you have family - lean on them and your friends.  A good support network is paramount.  Maybe dont make any decisions about your ex until you feel in a place to do so.  Some of the worse decisions I have made have been when I was down.  Say to yourself right I am not going to make any decisions and I am just going to look after me and my little girl and accept all the help you can get.

    My husband suffers with anxiety (I mostly suffer with depression) and he finds it helpful to talk through things as sometimes in your head things seem a lot bigger than when you get them out and share them. 

    Remeber when you have a baby you are very suscepitble to depression (post-natal).  Obviously your hormones settle after a while back the sleepless nights etc dont help.  If you still feel like this nearer the birth maybe think about starting antidepressants after you give birth?  

    I have been through the stresses of some very messy break-ups including the father of my child, I lost my mum and nan 4 years ago and have no other family (but great friends) and have been in such a state I cannot be alone.  Therefore if you need someone to talk to I would be happy to listen.  Post on here publicly and I will reply or feel free to PM me.

    Sorry if this doesnt make too much sense I have had a few drinks - it is my birthday - but saw your message and really feel for you.

    Look after yourself, let others do the same and dont worry about making any decisions at the moment.

    Big hugs.

    Sue

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much sue for taking the time to read this, you've made me feel a lot better

      I was on citalapram before falling pregnant so I will probably go back on them when baby is born, and as for my ex your right I should just wait things out the best medicine is time and hopefully things will get better for me!

      I do have a great family they've been working ways around having someone with me everyday while others work I couldn't ask for a better family! Great support plus my sister and mam also suffer with anxiety so we all understand each other..

      Anxiety and depression are two horrible mental diseases that I wouldn't wish upon anyone

      I will concentrate on what's important my little girl my little boy inside of me and myself, thank you again for taking your time to reply to me

      And happy birthday hope you have a fab time!

      Shaunie xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Shaunie. Sorry you're feeling so low especially while pregnant. I suspect it's something to do with you're hormone levels. Try reading some of the comments under the depression forum on here. It may give you some ideas how to cope. It helps to share how you are feeling anyway, even if it's on this forum. You can use the private messaging part too, just click on the envelope icon under the person's picture to the left. I can't say if it will go away or not after the birth but you will get medication then as long as you let them know what's happening before and after you have the baby. Keep in touch, it's good to talk! Ellie X confused
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    • Posted

      Thank you ellie it seem to have started once I found out I was pregnant so I do believe it's some how related, hopefully when baby is here it gets better and I can go back onto citalapram! There's hope at the end of every tunnel

      Thankyou for taking the time to read what I write and reply hope your well x

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  • Posted

    Hope you have a good night's sleep. I was in that long dark tunnel once but not whilst pregnant fortunately. There is a light at the end of it and you will see it once your baby is born! Just keep sharing on here or with anyone who will listen. Not everyone understands unless they've been through it themselves. Is your mum a good listener? Sometimes family are too close and can't deal with it hence this forum I guess! Keep writing it all down, that helps too. Night night, Ellie X rolleyes
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    • Posted

      Morning ellie I had an okay sleep hard to get comfy when I'm pregnant and my little girl had me up a few times

      My mam is a good listener and she always listens but she doesn't really have advice for me apart from what you say and concrete on what's important! X

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  • Posted

    Hi Shaunie, sounds like you're getting close to the birth now, am I correct? the last few weeks are very uncomfortable and even worse in summer. It's been very hot and humid at times lately which won't help you much. Just take one day at a time, and rest when you can. Try napping with your little girl when she sleeps, it's good for her and you. I had my first child in August, she arrived three weeks early,(always impatient)! What a relief though as it was really hot and thundery that summer too. Rest and prepare now, you'll be busy enough shortly. Best wishes, keep in touch. Ellie. X rolleyes
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    • Posted

      Thank you for replying and your advice I still have 13 weeks to go and I feel really tired all the time but can't sleep! Doesn't help with the restless leg syndrome and pelvic pain I've been getting not sure good pregnancy this time round unfortunately just want him here now x
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  • Posted

    I found my 'boy' pregnancy's more difficult, maybe because they were larger babies and more active. It's painful on you pelvis if they move a lot and press down when stretching! He's probably getting fedup and ready to come out now, he must feel the heat and your tension too. Can't say much more than try to rest more and relax, make the most of it while you can. X wink
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    • Posted

      I'm glad you've said your boy was more difficult, because mine certainly is my little girls pregnancy was perfect I loved it and it took all my anxiety away this one is taking over I hope when he's here I'm better I don't enjoy been pregnant I don't like the feeling of my body changing and looking different etc and the pains that come I just can't wait for labour lol thank you for your reply x
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