afraid to die

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i went to the ER yesterday coz i am having stabbing pains on the left side of my chest and my left arm in feeling weak...i thought i am having a heart attack and feeling very anxious...the doctor then examined me and ask for my family history  so in the end he said im having hypertension and unstable angina and prescribed meds for the blood pressure and the chest pains...he said that i would be in that meds for a lifetime now that i have to accept in even at the young age coz i inherited my father's sickness...honestly i am not convinced of the diagnosis coz i failed to mention that my bp isn't really that high on normal days and the chest pains come and go though he also said that if the chest pains come and go it is why it is called unstable angina and it will never go back to normal since i have it already. on normal days my bp range from 120-130/80-100 so that isn't that bad i think...what i think i really need is the reassurance that this is just anxiety...the truth is im afraid to die that's why every weird feeling i get i automatically think that there's something wrong with me, or that i am sick and the "what if's" thoughts came rushing in and my mind is racing...that when my heartbeat started to race, then i fell dizzy and more thoughts will came till i cant contain it and feel like fainting. i can't stop the "what if" thoughts and everytime it stumble my mind it caused me to what i believe are panic attacks...my body is in constant pain: back, neck, head and lims...usually accompanied by numbness and tingling sensations...sometimes there are cold spots in my chest too...i always feel bloated, belching, gagging, stomach pains and sometimes choking feeling...my stomach aches as sson as i finished eating and is usually followed by diarrhea. there are times that i feel so alone even though i am surrounded by family and friends that i know trully cared for me... and i have trouble sleeping since i got this weird feelings...i am afraid to sleep whenever i feel these symptoms coz i'm afraid i will never be able to wake up again... i tried laying down and deep breathing whenever i feel my hertbeat in starting to race and it helps a bit...reading also helps as it takes my mind out of what i am currently thinking...i tried taking melatonin 3mg last night and i don't think it is good for me as all i can feel if my head is spinning and i wake up every hour...we are trying to get an appointment to a psychiatrist on april 4 hoping they can tell me what's going on coz i feel like i can't deal with thgis no more and feel like losing my mind...and i hate it! i just want it to stop now coz i can't be myself...i want to try doing exercise but i am afraid it will make my heartbeat faster or even cause a heart attack...also whenever i go out..i feel dizzy that's why i stay in most of the time...i have difficulty concentrating and seems like my mind is at random thinking of all kinds of thing..most of it makes me anxious too! can anyone please give me a good advice on how to deal or lessen this until i get checked by someone or therapy coz i feel like i am loosing it...

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  • Posted

    Hi Cuki20

    ​What you just wrote is almost a clinical description of anxiety/panic attack, I know because I could of written that myself. What did he prescribe for the BP if it was amoldipine you might get a nasty cough with it. There are other drugs with less side effects. Reading helped me too I would read anything (shampoo bottles,dvd case anything with words)  when i  felt attack coming on. I had the tingling arms and strag

    ​nge "cold" spots in my chest also. I was convinced I was having a heart attack, I moved back in with my mum, as i did'nt wanna be alone also. That was 10 years ago and with CBT?NLP therpy and medications I'm fine. Anti depressants are usually the first course of action is an SSRI on a SNRI prescription. Most likely he'll start you on amitryptiline as it has sedative qualities to help you sleep. I found a combination of 2 different anti 'ds worked for me Sertraline (SSRI) and mitazipine (a tetracylic anti d) though i was on Venlafaxine (SNRI) for 6 years but it lost it's efficacy, hence the change in meds. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FINE, but i understand once that "what if" cog starts turning it gets faster and just goes haywire this is because your brain if firing off in all directions at once, and to top it off you tell yourself your fine, which focuses your attention on it even more, round and round it goes. Tell your family and friends NOT to (this is important) i repeat NOT to keep asking you if you are ok. It's called external validation, and you will instantly think that if someone can see something is wrong then it MUST be really happening. Instead tell them to just act normal ignore it as if nothing is going on at all. Trust me this will go along way to start slowing those "what if's" cogs down. I was where you are now 10 years ago it gets better it really does. CBT (cognitive behaviour therpy) is brillant as is NLP ( Neuro Linguistic Programming​) I would suggest printing out this convo and see what your Dr thinks, it will answer most of his/her triage questions, and will remind you of any questions you might have. Until you get your appointment please feel free to send me a message. I was really surprised as your story and symptoms were IDENTICAL to mine. I'm not a Dr I learned this the hard way. I hope this helps a bit. Let me know how you get on, and remember if you feel and attack coming read something as you said it activates different area of your brain, and believe it or not if you do some running/exercise it gives your mind a reason for your increased heart rate and you'll soon feel better.

    ​Craig

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    • Posted

      thank you very much...this is a big help for me..knowing that someone have been in my situation and that he overcome those symptoms...hope it het better coz i am starting to feel like im losing control over my body and anxiety is taking over me..ill update you after my appointment...and the doctor prescribed amlodipine 10mg last night but i don't think it's working since my bp still reach 140-160/100-111 when the attack starts and my whole body is shaking, heartrate reaches 100+
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    • Posted

      It takes awhile for a theruputic amount of the active metabolites to build up in your symptom which will take at least a week maybe 2. If you develop a dry hacking cough tell the Dr as there are lots of different medications such as beta blockers that work just as well Amlodipine is just the "go to" drug. How do you know what your BP is, do you have a BP cuff at home?
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    • Posted

      yes i regularly check my BP whenever i feel weird...usually it is 120/80....with small variation in range...but when the attacks started it will reach as high as 170/115...usually i panicked when i see my BP that high
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    • Posted

      Thought so. Can I make a suggestion stop using it. The very act of taking your own BP is causing  anxety which will of course raise your BP and pulse because your expecting it to be high and your worried then you panic then you have all the symptoms you described. Again I'm not Dr but if your BP is usually 120/80 (which is perfect btw as are the slight varations) I would'nt take the amlodipine it's not hyper tension and there is a very real risk of lowering it too low and you'll pass out (Syncopy)  It is almost definately an anxiety issue most likely generlized anxiety disorder. Instead of taking your BP read something, do some light exercise. If you feel fine. Test it out now. Take your BP now, Get in a comfy position with something too read wait about 10 minutes put on the cuff start the machine don't move or speak and DON'T look at the machine just keep reading, I bet you it will be lower than the reading you took 10 minutes before. Could you tell me the before and after numbers please.
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    • Posted

      i never thought that i was doing it to myself..i mean the BP cuff, but as I was reading your message it has come to me that it is true...i usually obssess about the BP cuff and get my Bp over and over again then the reading will went up then all the symptoms i am telling you will soon follow then i cant contain it and eventually go the the ER again...as for the amlodipine, i am scared that if i won't take it my risk of having a heart attack will increase too...i just wanna make sure that the chest pains i am experiencing is not related to any heart conditions. and i will definitely do your suggestion regarding taking my own BP...i didn't give it much thought until you said it...i agree that is making me more anxious...thank you very much...you're really a very big help to me and i appreciate it... you're making me understand more about what i am experiencing and it is making me feel better
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    • Posted

      Keep taking the Amlodipine until you see a Dr otherwise you'll do what ???       that's right you'll obssess over it. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATACK. I'll even bet your feeling calmer just by talking about it and getting some straight answers that make sense. Not sure if i said this already but print this convo out and take with you to the Dr. Thank you very much for the compliment, I wish I had someone to talk too when i was going through this. I had to learn this all from the internet, I was in med school many years ago, but real life got in the way. So rather than use forums I used the scienctific method I even wrote my own prescriptions Dr signed off on them and turns out i was right where every other Dr was telling me try this try that not working try this, basically just guessing. Your road to recovery has begun smile enjoy it.
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    • Posted

      i think you're right...and yes i feel a lot calmer just getting answers and it all made sense...i'm glad that you've read about my post and shed some light on what im going through...i am very thankful...and do your suggestion and bring a copy of our convo when i visit the psychiatrist
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    • Posted

      I had the same exact thing. They told me time and time again that I'm fine. I even had a stress test done and tehy told me I'm squeeky clean. I'm also on BP pills. I take hydrochlorothiazide.  Basically just a water pill to help with the pressure. My anxiety definitely did take over my life. I'll likely be on bp meds for life myself since my mom's side of the family are all in hypertension even though they aren't obese.

      Definitely cool it with the BP machine though. You might be subconsciously living around that thing checking on it with every little blip of anxiety you have.  You might even be then expecting it being high even if it wasn't.

      If you don't right now, go for walks. I found this REALLY helps me.  I go at night for the most part. Less people out, nice and cool outside which feels good and just plain getting some exercise in. Definitely recommend it.  Tackle this now before you start developing a health anxiety. They aren't easy to deal with.

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    • Posted

      Hi did you suffer health anxiety? I am battling this just now it's all to do with my heart I worry every little twinge it feeling is something wrong with my heart I check my pulse all day. I have had ecgs and blood tests all okay.
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    • Posted

      I was huge in health anxiety. Every little pain was cancer to me.  I was never like that but when you never get a straight answer to start with then your mind starts to wander.  I've had so many tests done it's crazy and yet they still couldn't find anything. I had to start trying to reverse my thinking. All they have found that could have been major was normal. Nothing wrong with me. 

      Walking was huge for me even though I was a huge introvert and barely left the house.  I tried some yoga and Tai Chi which helped a little. I don't think I was clearing my mind enough to get any huge benefit from those. Something I need to work on.  I know how hard it is when your mind doesn't shut up for at least a minute. 

      I did recently go to the neurologist though. He did a ton of tests on me during our consultation and he feels I'm suffering from tension headache. Just, without the pain. I don't get the head pain for sure.  But my inability to concentrate, eyes sometimes don't focus right away like the should, head feels super heavy as if it weighs 100lbs, etc. He started pushing on trigger points in my shoulders.  A few shot pain all of the way down my spine. He thinks that could be the cause of my burning feet feeling at times. Then another spot on my shoulder almost made me pass out. Not from the pain, just he hit something and I almost blacked out.  So he wants to start me on something called manual therapy that works directly with those points. It's basically a massage but more indepth. He thinks if I respond to that well then maybe I should make that a routine once a month or find someone who's skills with trigger points in acupuncture. 

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    • Posted

      Hi Lynsey

      ​Read this thread from top to bottom it should answer alot of your questions, I've just been having this exact convo with Cuki, the alo of the same advise will apply to you also, but please (if you wish) I'm always at the other end of the internet if you have any concerns

      Craig

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    • Posted

      For me it started with heart palpitations which landed me in the hospital 3 times were I had blood tests and ecgs all they could find was that I was anemic and I started taking iron tablets so I am no longer anemic but since then I am so scared of something happening to me I'm only 31 and have two kids I am also type 1 diabetic but it is well Controlled and I am not over weight. I feel anxious most days symptoms usually dizzy spells chest pain and I have now been told I have acid reflux which adds to the chest pains and makes me worry more. I try to tell myself it isn't my heart I've been tested and these pains don't come with activity I am always on the go. Thank you for ur reply I hope u are well it's good to speak with people in same boat
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    • Posted

      Definitely believe the doctors when they tell you your heart is fine. I know, it's hard, because I didn't. I went as far as a stress test to finally realize my heart is totally fine.  But to this day I still get chest pain/pressure and I do have high blood pressure. 

      I also think I migh thave acid reflux. I know when I use to drink a ton of soda and beer my chest and even my back behind the shoulder blades ached bad. I'd assume that's the doings of acid reflux.

      DO you have chest pain at any time or is it after a meal/drink?

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    • Posted

      The acid reflux is horrible I get it most in the few hours after eating starts in my stomach and then pressure in my chest shoulder and often get stabbing pains in Upper chest have been told this is all symptoms of the stomach problems. I also get it when I drink coffee. I do a lot of walking wi th my baby and I have a lot of stairs up to my house and I don't get the pains when I do any of this so I try to keep this in mind when I worry about my heart.
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    • Posted

      Hi Lynsey and Adam

      Ask your Dr's about Celiec disease. The symptoms your both describing fit it too a T, and it's often mis diagnosed as acid reflux. Celiec is very common it's basically an allergy to Wheat (Gluten) they don't test for it because acid reflux is of course much much more common.

      Craig

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    • Posted

      Hi I was tested for celiac a few yeara ago because I'm diabetic they said it can be linked but it was negative I didn't have stomach issues back then tho so might be worth me getting tested again thanks
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    • Posted

      I think thats a good idea celiac has such broad range of non specific symptoms, and it can lie dormant for years.  Good luck  Let me know how you get on and i hope you feel better soon

      Craig

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    • Posted

      Not sure mate obviously blood is a bit nicer to do, but your Dr will decide which one to do (if any) but push for it. I would imagine blood would be preferable as you can gain more information such as serum levels, liver function ect ect, but don't be surprised if they ask for the other kind of sample smile
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