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I've felt depressed on and off for around 4 months now but it feels like it's been forever. When I was young I didn't understand depression and I was stressed. I went to the doctor and told them I was depressed when clearly I wasn't and they turned me away as they should. Now I actually have depression and understand it and I'm afraid to go to the doctor in case they turn me away. It probably wouldn't be the same one as this was years ago and I'm not worried about that I'm more worried of being laughed at or told I'm making it up. I'm at a point where I can't sleep at night because of depression and anxiety and I go days thinking I don't want to be here anymore. I'm not suicidal and death terrifies me but I spent a lot of time wishing I could disappear and make this all go away.
I don't know what to do. I have no support and none of my friends or family know.
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