Age...Is it a big deal???

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hello Ladies,

I'm here with yet another rant. I really am glad I found this forum and the ladies here are very helpful, understanding, supportive, and always ready to give helpful advice. I really appreciate you all.

However, there is something that disturbs me. I read a lot of post and I post a lot to get insight and see if anyone else experience these symptoms and sensations. The question I see a lot is asking how old a person is. I am fairly young (38), but that doesn't mean that I am not peri/meno because I'm not in my 50's or 40's or vice versa in thinking that because someone is over 50 that they should be in meno or post. I've done quite a bit of research and while I am not an expert, I saw that this can start for some women in their mid to late 30's and can go on for many years well past their 50's. It nerves me to assume that because someone is not of the age you think they should be, that their symptoms are not peri/meno. I can't speak for the ladies here, only for myself in saying I have had plenty of bloods, scans, you name it, and it all comes back normal. That is a good thing, so I can rule out many things and put mines down to hormones.

I say all of that to say ladies come here for support, I certainly do. But please don't make assumptions that because someone is older or younger that they are not expierencing peri/meno. It's stressful enough dealing with these issues, and its even harder when you are blown off because of your age and what people think it should be. Every women's expierences are different but that doesn't mean they are not going through the same things as you.

Don't mean to come off as angry or offensive. Just want us to all be supportive of each other.

1 like, 25 replies

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  • Posted

    I started peri at 41 and I'm nearly 50 now, my symptoms are not so bad, when I started I use to get hot flashes, sleeping problems, it made it worse because at the time I was in a turbulent relationship, always arguing, and my boyfriend was not supportive, we broke up 2 yrs ago and it seems my symptoms as lessen as I am not so stressed anymore, I sleep well, eat well, sometimes I'm lonely but relatively happy, I had a friend who went thru menopause at 27 yrs old just after she had her last baby. So I guess one can go thru menopause very young, I also have one of my friend who's pregnant at my age, she's  expecting her baby anytime now... So I guess it's different thing for each and everyone of us...
    • Posted

      Everyone is different. Now that you were able to alleviate a stressful situation, it made dealing with symptoms much easier for you. I had to learn to cut out some stresses as well. Some things for me have improved, but I still have symptoms, I am dealing with it better than I was with less stress.
  • Posted

    Hi

    I believe that you can start peri symptoms in your thirties I had a friend that was emopausal at 43 so anything is possible I'm a nurse not a dr but I do have an open mind and nothing shocks me at this point lol!!!! The thing that really gets to me is some Drs will say your too young and maybe but the symptoms can start younger!!!!Then you have Drs that will say welcome to your forties are you kidding it's not a joke my symptoms have progressively gotten worse especially this last year I still get a period and I'm 47 I have missed months here and there and I'm not as regular every 28 days like I used to be but everyday it's something new some ache or pain! To me you know your own body so if you feel like your in Peri then you are and maybe it will be done earlier just because bloodwork doesn't tell the whole story in my opinion there is more to the big picture! Thanks for sharing because I know some younger women can relate to you!

    • Posted

      Thank you,

      I didn't want to seem angry or defensive. Just browsing some posts and responses bother me when I see people respond with "you're too young" or "you should be post by now". I just think it's not fair to say. I started everything early so I'm not surprised to be going through this at my age. Most of the women in my family started peri/meno early as well. I just feel it's bad enough when medical professionals disregard us, then to have women of your peers disregard you also is even more devastating. For me personally, I don't come here for a diagnosis, I come for support and reassurance that i'm not alone and I will make it through it. Just makes things easier to deal with. This forum was a wealth of knowledge for me since I had no knowledge of peri or really what encompassed meno.

  • Posted

    Hi Jamie,

    i can totally agree with you........  

    2 doctors I saw last year fobbed me off I knew somthing was wrong with me at first I had no idea what was up with me when I came across this site I was entering into Peru.....

    those 2doctors both said I was to young?

    And because I'm still having normal periods!!!!! 

    Im 46 and had my last ( baby number 3) at a let age 38 bless he's 9 soon!!!

    everybody is different we all know our bodies and I always say you know best if somthing isn't right get checked out.......my body was telling me for ages I was entering the premenapause stage regardless of age. 

    Some doctors are very naive!!.

     

    • Posted

      Yes they are very naive. It was really frustrating and difficult when I first got slammed with the symptoms. My first expierence was I was on my way home from work and i just picked up my sister and I had to pull over because my heart started racing, I was so dizzy I thought I was going to pass out. My sister called the ambulance and they rushed me to the ER. They said I was severely dehydrated ( I was not a water drinker, and just went on a camping trip a few days prior) my potassium was really low, and my BP was really high. They got some fluids in me, my potassium went back up to normal range, and my BP went back down to normal. They kept me over night and did all sorts of scans and echo's of my heart. I was all clear. From there I went back and forth to the ER with the racing heart, extreme anxiety, the inside body tremors and everything. I had another over night hospital stay for the racing heart and had many tests and scans again to be told my heart was fine and in good shape, i was given beta blockers to calm the racing down if it got to be too much. I just knew I had an awful disease and felt like they kept missing it. My family thought I was crazy, I even started to think I had a mental problem because I knew something was wrong but the docs said it wasn't. It wasn't until my aunt told me that there was nothing wrong with me but that I was going into peri and to research it. I had been having symtpoms since I was 35 but never knew. So it's possible to be early or late and I just don't like when medical professionals, and women of our peers disregard us because of what they think our age should be.
  • Posted

    Hi Jamie,

    My sister in law was all done and finished by the age of 40. We are not all the same. I agree and would suggest anyone wondering if they are perimenopausal take a look at the 66 symptoms and decide.

    I was post before I read that and it would have saved a whole lot of worry over my health if I had seen that last in the early days.

    As a lot of women say, I thought I had some dreadful hidden undiagnosed disease.

    • Posted

      I totally agree with you. I just knew I had some awful illness as well. I didn't have any knowledge of what could be expierenced with peri/meno. I had been having these symptoms already for a few years prior. I have an aunt who was completely done at 40. Had I known about these symtpoms sooner, it might would have made me be able to handle the hard symtpoms better and know what questions to ask the medical professionals.
  • Posted

    Jamie, i know you are a lot younger than many of us but we completely relate to your thoughts and experiences especially with regard to peri meno. as you said - we are in each others body ! its been so comfortng to hear your perspective and also thanks for giving us all the chance to respond.

    my peri had started more than four years ago but i hadnt identified the experiences coz i did no research before the really horrendous symptoms took over. i had to cut down the stress areas and Im learning new things everyday. But i do wish i had known about this much before and could have prepared myself....at least psychologically.

    for peri there can be no age - its just the time of life the hormones start doing their dance....for surgical menopause that is definitely the case.

    periods may still be there - even on monthly basis but there will be differences with regard to regularity or flow.....

    but generally it is the norm to ask anyone their age if they say they are 'suffering' from meno - that is the general trend but it cannot be used to dfine the condition. a lot of education needs to be spread not only with women but also their husbands and families....and of course the docs.

    • Posted

      The same with me. I had no clue, my cycles were every 23 days, heavy bleeding for at least 7 to 8 days (lead to me being anemic) clotting, night sweats, I gained a ton of weight, headaches, crying for no reason, intermittent diarrhea, dry skin and hair, bleeding gums and I had no idea that was all peri, I thought it was just pms and normal. Those things started when I was 35 but again my lack of knowlede made me think it was normal. It wasn't until, like you, the hard symptoms came about.

      Since peri/meno is not a "disease" and just considered the "change of life" and women have to deal with it all the time, (as I am told) I just try to manage what I can and get through it. I hold onto to the hope that one day the severity will lessen and I am going to be ok.

  • Posted

    yes totally agree, i started peri aged 35, i think the only symptom i noticed was an acceleration on my inner temp, then aged 40 my periods became extremely heavy and painful, then aged 46 had my first period change, now post aged, 56/7 with symptoms declining,  However, my friend started peri at 35, and was post 3 years later aged 38, because of her young age she didnt even think her symptoms were menopause related, so didnt seriously consider menopause, but after she stopped her peiods, and got it checked out, it made sense then to her afterwards, as to why she was storming out of the house, in a fit of rage over nothing, and that ws purely down to her believing, it couldnt be the menopause due to her young age.  I was told by my lady gp, i couldnt be on the change at 46 because i wasnt old enough, can you believe it!! every bodies, body is different, i just wish drs would see that, and, it is even more stressful if people are saying the same as them, its bad enough like yous say. 
    • Posted

      I was hurt a little the other day, when I expressed to a family member that I wasnt feeling well. They in turn said to me " does this menopause thing make you feel bad every day, you can't be sick again". It made me so mad I wanted to scream. So I'm shut down by medical professionals and family, I don't bother to tell my girlfriends cause they haven't the slightest idea. So I come here, and you ladies have been great.
    • Posted

      Similar things have happened to me within my family over health concerns, and in the end, i decided to keep my mouth shut, i often find, that when someone close is ill, and they my help, I sympathise, im there for them, and I understand, but when the tables are turned, when you have health concerns, or, worries,  they do the total opposite, in some ways, that is worse than what the gps are doing, where else can you turn, if you cant turn to your family, so, yes it is a good job this forum is here for us.
    • Posted

      Ya know I don't have too many people to talk about this either my friends are done with it already or they went and had a hysterectomy so they can't relate my mother has sympathy but I think I told you she had no issues with her period no cramps nothing I do remember her being a grouch and I used to tell her she needs to take a happy pill lol we laugh about it but her peri wasn't bad at all she did say it was annoying when she would miss periods and not knowing when they would come! Well I obviously don't follow in her footsteps with peri lol I try to find humor in all of this I may go to my gp who is a dr I became friends with whom my husband sees at least I know he will listen to my concerns and try to help tho I know me and I could give him a hard time lol I would say that's a medical community thing for sure there are really good dr and it's just a matter of finding them I worked in hospice for six years where I met this one dr and I worked with an amazing dr whom was my age and was so relatable then there was one who was a nightmare didn't care what you told her it was her way or the highway I have dealt with many Drs some I shake my head and others I praise!!! I'm just sound glad to have found this website I was telling my husband about it too he is probably glad it's like everyday he asks me how I am and the list is never ending lol I have to laugh or I will cry forever
    • Posted

      I have made the conscious decision to not mention it anymore. I just retreat to myself and try to find things to do to distract myself from this alien takeover.
    • Posted

      My family ask me everyday and all I say now is I'm ok. Something is wrong everyday and im tired of explaining. I'll just manage..hahaha

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