Almost 15 Weeks Since Increase... Still Feel Miserable

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hey everyone.  So, it’s almost been 15 weeks since I increased my dosage from 20mg to 30mg and I’m still struggling.

I still have high anxiety/irrational fears and thoughts and I feel like I’ve developed bad OCD regarding making decisions.  I’m very unsure about stuff and usually have to seek out reassurance from people otherwise I fear something bad will happen to me.

This week in particular I’ve been wanting to quit my job because it’s been making even more anxious - we have summer hours and normally that would make me happy, but all I feel is dread because I’m worried with more people gone on Friday I’ll have to lock up the building (it’s a smaller company).  And with my anxiety and OCD I just don’t trust myself with that responsibility.

So, I’ve been depressed about that because before the anxiety came back I liked my job for the most part.  I mean, there were some times where it was frustrating and stressful, but what job isn’t?

So, a part of me wants to quit so I can stop worrying about the stuff at work, but then another part is terrified of quitting because I worry about the money situation.

Now, I’m lucky right now because I still live at home and I do have money saved up from working in my savings.  But, I would be off insurance because I get it through work and it makes me scared to think I wouldn’t be insured - what if I had to go to urgent care/ER or something.  It would be so expensive.

So, basically I just feel like I’m stuck.  Like I have no options and I’m just gonna feel miserable and on edge forever.  I get some relief at night - usually feel more rational and calm.  And weekends are usually good because I can stop worrying about work and just rest.

Idk, I just want to feel normal again sad

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18 Replies

  • Posted

    That fear your having right now will eventually subside..I had a fear for along time of the what ifs...thank goodness is all behind me now...it will go away trust me...
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    • Posted

      Hi Lois,

      Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.

      Ugh, it’s just so hard to believe these fears will go away.  How long did it take you before you started to feel improvement and just generally better days than negative?

      I feel like I’ve almost gotten worse.  And I fear that the Citalopram just doesn’t work for me anymore.  My therapist set me up with an appointment to see a psychiatrist to discuss if I should switch medications because my GP admitted she didn’t have expertise in antidepressants.

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    • Posted

      Perhaps you should see a phychiatrist they have more expertise with these meds. How long where you on the 20milligrams?
      Report Reply
    • Posted

      So usually the second time around takes longer..see if your doctor will give you a low dose of a benzo..for those down days..
      Report Reply
    • Posted

      15 weeks seems so long.  I have some Xanax, but I usually only use it for emergencies.  I don’t want to use it constantly as I’m anxious everyday.
      Report Reply
  • Posted

    Hi ac!

    ?I'm sorry you are feeling so miserable :-(.

    ?If at all possible, I would continue at your job, since  it sounds like you were happy there before the anxiety.

    ?I definitely think it's time for a dosage increase, or a change to a different medication. Is Citalopram the first antidepressant you've tried? How long have you been on it total?

    ?That's good you have an appointment with a psychiatrist. He/she will be better suited to tell you what the next step should be.

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    • Posted

      Hi Kelly, thank you.  I really don’t want to increase to the highest dose, I’d rather switch and try a different medication even though that scares me too.

      Yes, I’ve only ever been on the Citalopram.  Was on 20mg for 5 years.

      I wish I would have thought to see a psychiatrist earlier - so far the earliest I can get in is in August.

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  • Posted

    My story was exactly like yours. Although I was only 10 weeks in. I quit my job because of it like you I had money saved but now it is dwindling, I have no medical and sure enough I ended up in the hospital this week with a bad infection. We eventually found out I had ssri syndrome. I am off of the meds. Now the anxiety is pretty bad trying to figure out how I am going to make it financially etc.I would tell you to stay at your job. The meds may have to be changed. At this point I am just taking a benzo but that is no longer working, ambien at night that is not working so I am suffering severly.
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    • Posted

      Where you taking other drugs that interfere with your celexa that cause seratonin syndrome..other wise is impossible to get serotonin syndrome..
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    • Posted

      At that time I was only taking celexa. My symptoms were intensified beyond anything I had ever experienced. My doctor had performed the gene test and the celexa came up as one of the wors ssri's for me. The experience was horrible for me so now I am afraid to try anything else. I still follow this group and it has worked for so many people, so please don't think I am trying to discourage you, it just didnt work for me. Others will have great advice for you.

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    • Posted

      Kamille, I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now! Yes, I could definitely see how that could make you reluctant to try any other meds.

      ?Have you ever tried an SNRI instead of an SSRI? Maybe that would be a better fit?

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    • Posted

      Hi Kamille.  I’m so sorry!  That’s horrible sad.  Are you not able to go on any SSRIs?i believe there are other medications to try besides SSRIs as well.

      For now, I will try and take each day at a time.  Can be very hard at times and this week has been so tough.

      Report Reply

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