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Hey everyone. So, it’s almost been 15 weeks since I increased my dosage from 20mg to 30mg and I’m still struggling.
I still have high anxiety/irrational fears and thoughts and I feel like I’ve developed bad OCD regarding making decisions. I’m very unsure about stuff and usually have to seek out reassurance from people otherwise I fear something bad will happen to me.
This week in particular I’ve been wanting to quit my job because it’s been making even more anxious - we have summer hours and normally that would make me happy, but all I feel is dread because I’m worried with more people gone on Friday I’ll have to lock up the building (it’s a smaller company). And with my anxiety and OCD I just don’t trust myself with that responsibility.
So, I’ve been depressed about that because before the anxiety came back I liked my job for the most part. I mean, there were some times where it was frustrating and stressful, but what job isn’t?
So, a part of me wants to quit so I can stop worrying about the stuff at work, but then another part is terrified of quitting because I worry about the money situation.
Now, I’m lucky right now because I still live at home and I do have money saved up from working in my savings. But, I would be off insurance because I get it through work and it makes me scared to think I wouldn’t be insured - what if I had to go to urgent care/ER or something. It would be so expensive.
So, basically I just feel like I’m stuck. Like I have no options and I’m just gonna feel miserable and on edge forever. I get some relief at night - usually feel more rational and calm. And weekends are usually good because I can stop worrying about work and just rest.
Idk, I just want to feel normal again
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