Almost 3am awake and have an interview for a job I don't care if I get

Hi Samantha firstly believe me the last thing you need right now is a baby they don't ever make things better or easier.

Second I'd rather be alone for ever than to have someone abuse and or vandalise by things your worth more than that and deserve better than that don't sell yourself short

You sound like you are in need of attention and need to feel loved the first thing you will have to realise is no one can love you until you love yourself If you tolerate crap your going to get crap

Here's a tip if he sends you nasty messages with hurtful things on them keep them when you start to forget how much those words hurt you read them again this may sound bad but it's not it's good for you because it'll stop you taking him back you've said he abuses you my god I wish I could give you some strength nothing grinds on me more than that

I won't say he won't change because it takes years of theropy to help ( I hate saying people) when he's acting so bad he needs help to deal with his issues if you take him bk you are saying it's ok I'm ok with this lifestyle and the fact your on here says your not

You realise a baby with him ties him to your life for 18 years not maybe in a relationship capacity but he's going to be around

Causing difficult situations do you want that really

Look tell him to get help go and get help from your gp do things for yourself go out have fun get a hobby start to love yourself

Tell him to get help to but do it separately then who knows in two years you may meet and be totally different people and actually be good for each other and have a baby and be a happy family

But this isn't any good for anyone I mean Hun you've had to call the police already someone is going to get hurt here plz take the advice

Thinking of you x

You don't sound pathetic Samantha. You sound like you are trapped in a very vicious circle that needs to be broken. No wonder you have anxiety and depression, let alone bulimia.

Please don't self-diagnose. It serves no purpose and we tend to then live up to the label. First you need to seek professional advice - you can start with your doctor. Domestic abuse demands zero tolerance. Bringing a child into an already abusive relationship would increase the problems all round (I'm being gentle here because I have been through the agonies of infertility and sympathise). Once your doctor helps you find a starting point, you can tackle the issues one by one, starting I hope with why you would choose an abusive relationship rather than 'be alone forever' (that's a LONG time and unlikely) and why you would consciously put a child into such a toxic environment. At 29 you have plenty of time to establish healthy relationships and then start a family. My dearest friend chose to stay in a toxic (non-violent) relationship and the effect it had on her child's self-esteem was heartbreaking.

Hi Samantha - a child will not solve anything. It will make things harder. You need to make an appointment with your doctor and describe what has been happening - and seek a referral to a psychologist and/or psychiatrist for assessment. You need to get rid of the boyfriend - you are in a vicious cycle with him and that will not change until you walk away - and realise you are entitled to a better partner than one who beats you and your property. I hope you went to that job interview - work can give us purpose, provide the necessary cash, and give us a new social structure in which to bloom. You are not pathetic, you are trapped. You can free yourself. It will take time and effort, but your future is worth it. Best of luck whatever you decide.