Am I being selfish just looking out for myself

Posted , 8 users are following.

as a rule I don't mind listening to my friends problems and helping if they need it, but I think I have reached the point I just want to think about myself and wallow or just sort myself out.

is that so wrong ???

 

0 likes, 11 replies

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    I seem to have reached that point as well, I was always there for my friends and would always be there if they needed me, but I never seemed to get any help when I needed it, and i started getting fed up and thought I needed to just worry about myself and get myself sorted first. So no I don't think it's wrong, it's best to sort yourself out than to leave it and make things worse. 
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  • Posted

    No you are not being selfish , this time last year i was supporting a friend through her problems with her job , accompanying her to CAB , Job Interviews , etc , giving her words of encouragement , etc despite myself being unwell due to physical , mental health , when she started a new job she told me that she would only being doing her other job - weekend carer to people's homes every other weekend so we shall still be able to go out the weekends she wasn't working . Did we - NO , i have never had any contact with her socialising apart from seeing a show that we booked earlier in the year , she didn't keep her word despite my physical health taking a turn for the worst when i was diagnosed with blood clots on the lungs last July - it was a massive shock to me as they could not locate where they originated from and my mental health went downhill - was she there for me when i needed some reasurrance from friends - which fortunately most understood and were and have been there for me - i don't expect it 24/7 but some a text , etc every now and again but i didn't get it from her , further health problems have arisen but still no kind words to see how i am , etc . One of my friends called her a fair weather friend - uses me when she needed help , support but not there for me when i needed support , she even took it the wrong way when i couldn't go out for a meal with her when it was my birthday even though she knew that my Brother and Sister-in-law was over in the UK for that period ( their annual visit ) so i wanted to spend time with them . Basically what i am saying is that if your friends are good friends then they should understand that sometimes you need "Me" time , please take care x

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  • Posted

    Your not wrong at all, and it is not selfish. What good are we if we don't look out for our own well being first?
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  • Posted

    I don't think you are selfish at all. I think you are a very caring person who is very helpul to others.

    The weight of everybody elses problems combined with any of your own has become too much. You shouldn't feel bad about wanting to shed some of that weight and concentrate on yourself, you deserve it!!

    I am also dealing with feelings of selfishness at the moment too, but people here have helped me to see that it is not selfish to want to take care of yourself!

    Work on yourself for a bit michelle, and stay positive. Don't be afraid to admit to your friends that you need a bit of help and support at the moment. You will be surprised at how helpful they can be, even if you just vent at them.

    Chin up michelle. smile

     

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  • Posted

    Hello Michelle, As an anxiety sufferer too, there are many times, I have to focus on me. Otherwise no one lese will help me. I am a carer of my Husband, ok hes not well but who will look after me? No one. So every 3 weeks I have a reflexologist visit my home. Please dont feel guilty. Each day you need to set aside your time. Hope this helps regards Amandah
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  • Posted

    There is nothing wrong with putting your wellbeing first. Sometime friends can be negative and draining and as a result cause your mood to be the same. Take some time to yourself and don't feel guilty about it.
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    • Posted

      Thank you everyone for your lovely and encouraging comments. It sounds daft, more  ad days than good days really. Still feel confused and selfish but learning to deal with it. 

      Will be be glad when my anxiety gives me some breathing space.

      xx

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  • Posted

    I used to feel the same.It isn't wrong and you arn't being selfish.Its just your mind regulating these thoughts which is more prone towards the -ve thoughts so it is more attentive towards these at this time.JUST FINISH it off. And good thing is that you can do it.Give yourself time.You'll understand everything as you'll get better.

    Take care!

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