Am I heading for a relapse?

Posted , 2 users are following.

Hey all

So I've been on 20mg since January and 10mg before hand since October...

In the last few months I've felt good a little off at times an my mind racing which is happening a lot lately...

On Friday night myself an boyfriend (he was drunk)got into a huge argument an he told me he can't deal with my depression and anxiety an said he didn't have feelings for me anymore an that where to different people now....

The next day he was hugging me and laying on my lap....

I'm so confused and I feel like crying as I'm so messed up mentally an emotionally... I feel as it I'm going to burst into tears an as if I'm going to rrelapse sad

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Cheryl,

    I was sad to read your post.


    No, you are NOT going to relapse.  If your boyfriend cant deal with your depression, then he's not worth hanging on to.  I know its going to be very hard for you but trust me, your health and state of mind is far more important.  And he should realise that too.  

    I have only been on Cit since last Wednesday, so Im not really in a position to say if it has worked for me or not yet, but the thing Im worrying about most, is putting on weight, as Ive gone to alot of effort over last couple years to lose eleven stone, and Id cry if I started to gain weight again.

    Im going through a separation atm, and that in itself is very very hard.  So I can totally understand how you must be feeling.  Men have a bad habit of playing with our heads, and this is so they can gain control over you.  You donot want to leIt your boyfriend do this to you.

    Hang on in there my lovely.  Dont let him get the better of you.  Especially when he is drunk, as thats the time men tend to say things that they didnt mean to say.  And they play with your emotions.  My god, Im feeling emotions I didnt even know I had!!!  I thought I was doing ok but deep down I know Im not. But then this is not about me, its about you.

    Maybe it would help if you had a break.  Only a suggestion, but sometimes it helps and gives you time to think do you really want to carry on seeing this man or are you doing ok without him.

    Its not fair of him to bring up your depression though.  We cant help the way we feel.

    I do think though, my lovely, you need time to think.  And if I were you, I would definitely consider not seeing him for a while, and see how you get on.  

    I hope it all works out for you.  Please feel free to message me at any time.  I dont always have answers, but I listen.  And sometimes, as Ive found out, it does help to talk to people that you dont know, as then you are not judged.

    Let me know how you are. XXX   

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  • Posted

    Oh honey, that's the last thing you need, and you're bound to feel messed up.  It is hard for our partners, but it's even harder for us who suffer.  People don't understand what we go through - we don't choose to be ill and we'd love to just step out of it and just get better, but it doesn't work like that.

    Depression is an illness, like any other illness people have to endure, and often is takes a while to recover, so all we want is people's understanding and patience.

    Sounds like the alcohol played a part in it, and when we argue we do say things we often don't mean.

    You'll probably feel knocked backwards for few days, but carry on as you were and you'll start feeling ok again.

    Wishing you the best x

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  • Posted

    Hey woo,Kate

    He's been going thru a rough time is well as his mother was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago...

    We're from Dublin Ireland and we emigrated to Canada in 2013 so it's hard for us to get home..

    We've been together for almost 8years now..

    When I was first diagnosed with anxiety he did help me an he did support me a bit and he thinks because I take a tablet I'll automatically be better...

    Going on a break probably would be the best option but I'd have no where to go as I've no family here an we have the same friends so that would be a bit awkward sad

    Thanks so much for the advise tho

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    • Posted

      Oh bless him, that's tough to deal with re his mother.  I expect he's having an emotional time too.  Yes people do think a tablet will work the same as an Asprin works for a headache.  But ..... during recovery on this medication you will have ups and downs, whilst your body is adjusting to the medication.  Took me around 3-4 months before I felt well (that was years ago) and have been well ever since.

      The medication will kick in again and start helping to ease the anxiety, but I expect you'll feel a bit down for a few days ....... men eh! rolleyes


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