Am I out of Love?

Posted , 5 users are following.

Am I?

Having read some of the posts here and on other forums,Im beginning to think I may be perimenopausal. Im only 36, but have noticed a few changes already that I have been trying to ignore.Im normally a calm and collected person,but have been getting really angry and have no patience with my husband anymore because I just cannot figure this out.I don’t want to have sex with him as I just don’t like it anymore,but, Im having sleepness nights just wondering what is wrong with me and fantasising about a workmate that up to the last few months Ive pretty much ignored, it seems my libido is ok, I just don’t find my husband attractive anymore,but everyone else is!!!The workmates girlfriend also works with us and she has jokingly told me to stop hanging around him so much as it makes him uncomfortable but she looked serious,and a few others have made comments in fun.How quickly people pick up on things!Im avoiding him now as I don’t want a bad reputation at work.I have noticed that Im sweating at night,and when not sweating I get headaches a lot lately too and my breasts are very tender.Im more worried about my lack of attraction and avoidance of intimacy with hubby as he is beginning to notice the changes.I get angry everytime he mentions it.Am I peri? Has anyone else had this? What do I do to control it as its starting to drive me nuts!

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    Stay calm Ally,

    This is normal as I had the same and a few others too!

    Go to your GP and ask to have a test,telling them what the problem is.

    Your hormones are affecting your emotions and as they say,It not him Its you,putting it a better way.....Its not him,its your hormones.

    Please read a post entitled Threaten Marriage by Annie

    there is lots of help and advice there

  • Posted

    Oh perimenopause is no fun for some like me smile  but ya gotta make the best of it.  Better to laugh than cry.   Laughter is good for the soul and heals our poor old bones. smile I have been married 25 years.  

    So keep a smile on your face cause it's the only way to get through it without going crazy.  smile

  • Posted

    Ally,

    Keep calm and accept what is happening to you,it all very normal and accepting it is the first step towards managing it,read alol you can an keep a journal of symptoms as knowledge is power and when you have your cycle sussed out,you will know when to expect symptoms instead of thinking you are going crazy.Take it easy on hubby as he is the first in line for a good telling off,quickly followed by tears,which may even be his lol !

    You might feel that you are out of love with him.but you are not,you are out of love with your former self and hating it.

    You probably had a nice comfortable life up to now,good job,no major money probs,and a happy loving husband who was fun to be with and you were thinking it would last forever.The big PM has raised its ugly head and slapped you right out of your comfort zone,turned you upside down and inside out and you didnt even notice it coming.You are officially Mrs Jekyl and Miss Hyde going from extreme frustration amd anger to tears and heartache.You can become a temptress at the drop of a hat,and an ice lady just as quick.You want your husband to go away,but when he does,you want him back.Welcome to the PM club. Keep posting and we will give you support.Stick with hubby and dont fall prey to the sharks,very nice as they seem to be,they are not.

  • Posted

    Ally,

    Whatever you do,dont lie to your other half about anything!! Be very honest and clear in as much as you can be,as to some men,these very symptoms,lack of desire,anger,frustration,trying to get away,needing space,sleepness nights,and pretty much anything out of the ordinary are all signs of cheating.If he has no idea,(most dont)try and explain as best you can.Telling him to go and see some distant friends or relatives just to get him out of the house so you can think will also raise suspicioun. Start off by saying,WE have a problem that WE need to look at.Including him and using WE  will reassure him that youre not ready to leave him for someone else. Right now he probably sees YOU as someone else so dont turn the tables on him and blame him for every little thing that you start off just to divert him when he asks questions.Honesty is the best policy,and although things will change from day to day with you with the hormonal peaks and troughs.Try to keep a level head.Keep a diary and watch your cycle so you will son get an idea what to expect as the levels rise and fall.

    We are all here for you

     Margaret X

  • Posted

    Ally,Just a thought,the only people you should be discussing this with is ...us...your doctor...your husband...and maybe a close friend or relative that you can trust. You could also join a local support group in your area. Dont discuss with friends who will just try to give you marriage advice,and certainly not with any males.I made a mistake in telling my boss who I thought was very understanding,and I blamed my husbandmfor every day off I needed,everything that went wrong at work,being late,not getting work in on time etc etc all due to my own tiredness and emotional fatigue,My boss was very understanding and supportive and took me to lunch for updates now and again and I thought "here is someone who really "gets" me" and there was no sign of anything inappropriate from him at all. Until the xmas party when I found out how he really "gets" me...after a few drinks into his office with his hands all over me...be careful who you speak to. Your husband is probably your best friend right now so keep it that way.

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.